On the weekend I came home after a massive day/night out with the boys to find a pissed off girlfriend. This is par for the course, some would say.
However, in this particular instance, she was more pissed off than normal and told me to read a message she had put on the fridge. The essence of the message was that she thought I had been cheating on her with hookers and that she was disgusted with me.
Now, I am not a piece of shit (anymore), so I know that I have not cheated on her, hookers or otherwise, but she apparently had evidence sourced from my old phone that I keep in my bar for music, etc. Again, I know for a fact that I did not cheat, so I knew there was no fucking chance she had evidence from the phone.
Here’s the thing, when we first started seeing each other, I kept it light and breezy, no relationship, getting to know each other, having fun, all that jazz. You all know me, I’ve been burned before and I wasn’t about to be burned again.
I kept speaking to other girls and the like, in more than a number of capacities.
Over a couple of months, I saw this girl was different, caring, and I had never laughed as hard with anyone else. At one stage I laughed so hard I fell off the bed, we get along, both smoke weed, blah blah, sappy shit.
So around Christmas/New Years 2017/2018 I stopped doing all the other shit with anyone else. We weren’t exclusive at this point in time, but we were getting along really well and I wanted to give that opportunity. We made it official later on, the 26th of January, but I hadn’t spoken to, texted, or even communicated since before Christmas.
Recently she’d been complaining for about a month that she was dreaming that I was fucking around on her. I dismissed it, because I figured I’d never given her even the remotest reason to think I was like that and that her dreaming of that shit was something she needed to take up with her therapist.
Curiosity got the better of her while I was out with the boys and using the excuse that “I had given her permission” when she recently accused me of watching porn to check my phone, she went through it with a fine tooth comb.
Here’s the thing, the “evidence” was texts, etc from this period before Christmas prior to us being exclusive. Okay, I’ll be straight, I got headjobs from chicks on one or two days that I wasn’t seeing her over that two month period, but I didn’t have sex with anyone. But so fucking what? We weren’t exclusive.
Alright, I’ll extend an olive branch here, if I was fucking, then the fact that I had said that I wasn’t fucking and then had sex with her would put her at heightened risk and I get that, but I wasn’t fucking. And while it is possible to get STIs from receiving headjobs, it is highly unlikely. So I wasn’t entirely truthful, but are you going to be like, “well, I had a blow job on Sunday morning”.
Anyway, she produced these texts as her evidence and I was understandably pissed off. First, she went through my private things. I mean, I gave her my phone’s code out of trust so she could use it to call her phone if needed, or to put music on, whatever. Not to go prying into my past. Second, they simply proved that I had been faithful since we’ve been together.
Now, she has told me about things that her and her ex used to do to her and I get visibly uncomfortable, for a number of reasons. First, it is between them. Second, some of it needs to be discussed with a professional, I’m not the right person for that job. Third, I am not in the business of telling people the ins and outs of my intimate life. Never have been. Unless I’m bragging about what happened last night, of course.
So I laid it all out for her, the chick that put me through court and her being an escort, that she likely cheated on me by getting paid to get fucked, all of it. Pretty much. There’s only so much you can tell someone in an argument.
We’re okay now. The evidence that she was going to use to convict me was absolutely my exoneration.
But I’m in a few minds about the trust thing. On the one hand I’m not a piece of shit, so I don’t care that she has access to my phone/messages, etc in the future. On the other hand I want some privacy. On the third hand I have to think that this type of thing can be the result of a guilty mind. And on the final hand, I have to wonder if this kind of unwarranted jealousy will rise again and fuck me up some other way.
Anyway, I’m bound to get trolled for this, but thought I’d throw it out there.