The Worst Techniques I've Ever Been Taught

oh man ive got a few, ill only give you the best.

Intructor replying to me after getting punched in his face,
“you didn’t actually hit me i blocked your strike with my forehead, its a good stategy because you leave both your arms free.”

Sparring partner replying to me after wearing sweep kick to ribs,
“I feel quite open when throwing a jab, maybe i could roll out of the way after.”

Escape from full nelson lock,
Jump as high as you can in the air and use gravity to break their grip.

Response to me using a double leg takedown,
“That wasn’t a very good throw you need to drop you head down and headbut him in the stomach first”

This isn’t something ive been taught but a response from a delusional instructor,
“Our way of training is the best in the world, alive training is only done by people who dont have the discipline or patience to train properly.”

I was subjected to these concepts during my training in ninjitsu, when i started crosstraining eg MT and BJJ i realised how shit this was.
Man i wasted my time

Don’t tell Omega about this, he will challenge you and prove you wrong! :icon_mrgr

This has probably been mentioned–likely more than once–in the thread, but I’m not going to wade through looking for it.

One word: spearhand.

Hitting things with your fingertips. That’s the shit right there.

I, too, have heard of t3h d3dly fingertip strike.

I tried it.

Once.

broke two fingers…

Did you maybe confuse this by him blocking with the top of his head? E.g by tucking his chin down and letting you hit him on the crown of his head?

That’s a pretty common boxing technique as I understand it. You’re not going to knock him out like that and the bone up there is very thick and hard.

I know its much better than being punched in the nose, or chin.
However having an instructor tell me it’s a good strategy makes me question his ability.

It’s good strategy if you’re slipping the punch to close the range. Head down, chin and jaw tucked in, whatever they throw glances off the top–which, supported by the spine, can take it–while you get inside and begin your awesome damage. Just do your neckwork, keep those hands up, and get used to the best angles for slipping a punch in order to get inside whatever your opponent threw.

It was quite popular in bare knuckle boxer, as I recall. Boxers would try and intercept punches with their forehead or elbows, trying to injure the hands of their opponent whilst he was throwing a hard punch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruqHY6zIuoQ

man I loved that movie, and Brian Dennehy’s faceblock is badass

Holy shit. I’ve had good instructors up 'till now.

Hey, don’t knock this highly useful technique for fighting off a bunch of rabid six year olds!

I know firsthand that spearhand tickling is effective against my son … this stuff works!

Oh, I have t3h absolute best antigrapple you’ve ever heard of. If a grappler is grabbing you by the shoulders (not trying any takedowns or anything, grapplers automatically go for the shoulders), then you completley swing around, grab his ankle and pull up to your chest, effectivley pulling them to the ground. Now I know this works sometimes (it worked for Bas once), but it gets better. With their leg in your grasp, you do nothing foolish like a kneebar or anklelock. No, you sit down on them, lean back, and elbow them in the face. Let me elaborate. You sit back (give them your back, inside their guard), lean back (stretch yourself out), and elbow them in the face (slide your neck beside their arm), T3h TKD antigrapple.

You ankle pick them and give up your back?

Hellz yeah! It’s the TKD anti-grapple!:ohyeah:

I do Thai and BJJ now, just making it known for the sake of my dignity.

Sounds like your sensai is a whole heap of shit. In fact he is probably a conartist.

#1 -> against a knife stab, you catch the hand, so that the knife stabs your palm i in the middle, than you just beat them, while still holding the fist of the attacker (yea, the knife stuck in your palm) :adora:
#2 -> again a knife stab - sidestep and (his hand proned, just standing there) a scissor-like strike with your both forarms hitting his wrist … saw this on a Ju Jutsu brown belt exam, on the third strike the defender screamed “let go the knife, damn it” and the attacker droped it even before the 4th strike :5shocking awesom …
#3 -> against any knifer - just double-leg him and then go for the armed hand …

I fucking love this. Take the knife through the hand like a real man and beat the shit out of the guy before pulling the knife out and walking away. If I could do that, I’d probably be the one starting the fights.

half-fist punch…you curl the upper half of your fingers…but you don’t bring the fingers all the way in to make a real fist.

Hmmm…some gems from my Shorin Ryu days:

  1. Nukite. Fingers are great for lots of stuff striking not being one of those.
  2. “Drunken” techniques. Why would I want to fall face forward towards an opponent with my hands at my sides so that I can shuto his ass in the testicles? I wouldn’t.
  3. The X block. Not too common in Shorin Ryu, but one in particular in a kata where you kneel and X block a mae geri type kick. I guess the sheer fact that you attemped such a stupid defense would cause your attacker to be mezmerized giving you enough time to stand back up, dust yourself off, take time for a latte and then chi blast that fucker back to the third grade.

Or you could do the smart thing and just walk around with a knife already through your fucking hand. It could be useful in preventing fights.

(At a Bar)

Drunk: You want to start something, Bitch?

You: silently raise up bloody hand with knife stuck through the center

Drunk: Nevermind. Can I buy you a drink instead, sir?