A few weeks ago my friend called me and asked if it’d be okay if he stayed at my house for a few days while his aunt got ready for him to move in with her. I said sure, that’s fine, he’s a good friend and I never had any problem with him.
That was 3 weeks ago. He doesn’t do anything, he just sits around on his computer (did I mention he brought a fucking desktop into my room?) and expects me to cook him fucking food. It’s really god damn annoying, and every day I ask him when he’s going to his aunt’s he says ‘I don’t know’. I can’t have my girlfriend over because he’s always here. What do I do in this situation without being a dick?
So, have you asked him out? You are already cooking for him, paying the bills, and he lives with you. Oh and how the hell do you not have your girlfriend over?
I don’t actually cook for him, he just expects me to, then bitches when I don’t and goes to Burger King.
I’ll tell him to get lost for a bit when my girlfriend comes over and he’ll just decide to come back at inopportune times. It’s not like he doesn’t have other friends in New Jersey and it’s fucking aggravating because my hands are tied.
[QUOTE=Kickapoo;2535780]A few weeks ago my friend called me and asked if it’d be okay if he stayed at my house for a few days while his aunt got ready for him to move in with her. I said sure, that’s fine, he’s a good friend and I never had any problem with him.
That was 3 weeks ago. He doesn’t do anything, he just sits around on his computer (did I mention he brought a fucking desktop into my room?) and expects me to cook him fucking food. It’s really god damn annoying, and every day I ask him when he’s going to his aunt’s he says ‘I don’t know’. I can’t have my girlfriend over because he’s always here. What do I do in this situation without being a dick?[/QUOTE]
In all seriousness, talk to him about it:
Use the same words you used here.
If he doesn’t correct his errors, he is, lamentably, no true friend.
The only way to do it without being a dick is to continue being a pussy. About your only choice to change the situation, given your ridiculous constraint, is for you to go find another place to stay.
So, you are shy? You want to listen to me do shit with my girlfriend you aren’t a friend. He should have asked you straight up if you wanted a roommate. If you are relaying his response correctly he knew what he was doing from the beginning.
Once he said “I don’t know,” that was your opportunity to ask him what he meant. Now, you’ll have to tell him you didn’t want a roommate. You are going to be a dick regardless because, he is going to live with his Aunt or crash somewhere else.
He is a dick for not telling you the truth from jump.
Are you asking me if I’m shy? I wouldn’t say so but I’m not a big fan of being confrontational if the situation doesn’t warrant it. The more I think about it though the more I’m realizing I’m getting treated like a bitch. I ask him every day when he’s leaving so I can’t really think he’s not getting the hint. As much as I enjoy paying for him to sit around and play Rift all day I’m only 20 and I’m not really in a position to be supporting what amounts to a vegetable.
The thing is, no matter what choices you make to get him out, your friend will probably think that you’re a dick. And not because you are, but because he’s an entitled asshole taking advantage of you helping him out.
Sympathize with his situation by all means, but set a deadline for him to be out, and stick to it. He might think you’re being unfair, but to the world as a whole you’re doing what needs to be done.
[QUOTE=Kickapoo;2535804]Are you asking me if I’m shy? I wouldn’t say so but I’m not a big fan of being confrontational if the situation doesn’t warrant it. [/quote]Who said anything about being confrontational?
You are complaining about him fucking up when you and your girl are doing shit. Please read the sentence after my question. If he wants to listen let him.
The more I think about it though the more I’m realizing I’m getting treated like a bitch. I ask him every day when he’s leaving so I can’t really think he’s not getting the hint. As much as I enjoy paying for him to sit around and play Rift all day I’m only 20 and I’m not really in a position to be supporting what amounts to a vegetable.
Thanks for the input.
You ask him everyday and his response is “I don’t know?” Yeah it does mean you have to confront him doesn’t it? Even if you are nice it is going to be confrontational.
Easy! Just start acting like his old lady and he’ll run for the hills:
Leave him extensive ‘honey do’ list signed with a smiley face or heart
When you get home every day, give him a long-winded retell of your day’s most mundane events.
Relentlessly break his balls about every bad habit by saying: “I heard on Dr. Oz…” or “Oprah said…”.
Start talking about your feelings/emotions like if your dad was around more in childhood you wouldn’t feel so alone on this cold, rocky planet (or something else sappy)
Tell him that his friends are no good and that he should spend more time around the house (so you can nail him with steps 1-4)
I’m warning you Kickapoo
Last time I let shit like this go on a bit, I ended up getting in a violent altercation with my roommate. Trust me. You are in a situation where there is absolutely no way to “drop it” or “forget about it” and he is in a situation where he has no motivation to do anything about the situation because you’re being a bitch. If you disagree with me you’re in denial.
The only way to hedge your risks is to be very clear with him. Draw a boundary (aka tell him what he can and can’t do, and a deadline for him to move out. All of these elements has to be there, if not, you’ve failed.). Do it. trust me. Whatever damage you do to your friendship now, it’ll be less than what would happen later.
As Hiro said if he’s wilfully ignoring your questions he’s not being a true friend. He’s basically being a dick so just tell him to leave. If he thinks you’re being a dick then so be it, he’s being a lazy, sponging prick. You’ll be doing yourself a favour.
Well, after much ‘talking’ (shouting mostly), ‘we’ (I) ‘decided’ (told) him he had until Tuesday to get his shit in gear or else I was moving his shit to his aunt’s (or a flea market) myself. Not entirely sure on the legality of my threat, but it got the point across.
As usual, the shortest distance between two points is being a douche. Thanks, Bullshido!