So a few weeks ago I meet this chick in a library. Some of you might not know this, but I have horrible terrible vision, not as bad as say Stick, but it’s pretty bad. It’s something like 150/20. Couple that with my retarded immune system being prone for infections, it’s pretty hard. I forget my glasses and I ask this nice young lady to read something for me and we start conversing.
After a bit, she comes back with me to my table and we start talking, having some fun conversation, and I’m being my charming usual self. Numbers are exchanged and everyone wins.
Over the course of the next few weeks we talk, hang out, etc. etc. One night, it’s pretty late, I’ve finally recovered from my slight illness from a few weeks prior and she asks if I want to go over. So I do.
Turns out she has a really really hot and really really smart roommate. I immediately lost all interest in the original girl and settle it completely on her roommate. So after some slight drama, I talk to the original girl, tell her what’s up and ask her roommate out on a date.
Fast Forward to last Friday night. We’re getting ready for dinner and she gets called into work last minute so we have to post-pone. No big deal, I immediately make other plans and have fun. She asks to go on saturday, I’m like, ok, no biggie. So come saturday, we get something to eat and head over to a coffee shop and get some drinks and ice-cream. Everything’s great, we’re talking and blah blah blah. She’s brilliant. She is witty, intelligent and beautiful.
Her mind alone, I’m mentally masturbating furiously over. God, she’s so smart. We’re having a great conversation, everything’s going cool. Then she asks me what I want to do. I give her my three dreams:
- Become an Occupational Therapist and work with Orthopedically Impaired children.
- Start a restaurant that is pretty much a Japanese Hooters.
- Buy a boat and sail the seas, travel the world and one day die in a fierce gun/sword battle with pirates.
She’s a bit startled with the first one. Here is where everything comes CRASHING down. See, she is full of rage and hate. She can’t fathom why I would want to help people. Seeing as at the moment, I do volunteer my time and efforts towards special ed children and sometimes at hospitals/libraries/etc. She doesn’t realize that yes, you CAN help people without getting paid for it. She thinks it’s stupid and then our conversation steers towards how much she hates the world, how jaded she is and how she just loves to piss people off and take people down. Did I also mention that this is the same girl who’s house I went to that night I got attacked by the druggie homeless dude? Yeah. Double Whammy!
Anyway, she’s all jaded and hateful and full of rage. The kind that will snap at the smallest thing. So we finished up and I bounced right out of there. I couldn’t help but laugh at my recent luck with women.
Cliffs: Women are fucking insane. Especially catholic ones. My life is a hilarious comedy of errors. And druggies hate me.
