The LARPer vs. the Metrosexual Gladiator:
Hello Sports Fans,
Most of you would call me a LARPer because I prefer to primarily train in scenario-based modern weapon and group-defense-based martial arts. I, on the other hand, think of most of you as being the new WWF fans, who believe they can own anybody because they’ve seen their favorite wrestlers and practiced their moves.
We essentially have two extreme idiots at work in the “martial arts for real self-defense” world.
First, we have the true LARPer, who practices a traditional style without resistance using antiquated weapons, but who also believes his training is perfectly acceptable for a modern fight. He likes costumes and renaissance fairs and needs a friend. He is easy to make fun of but sad, and usually doesn’t go running around screaming about how much of pussies everyone who doesn’t do what he is doing is.
Then we have the sports fan, who thinks his little tournament world with no weapons and one opponent is the ultimate path to self-defense training. He believes all the videos of people in controlled competitions using his style to defeat other people of lesser styles proves his dominance in the food chain. He claims that you can’t defend against weapons unarmed, or that his training prepares him to just add in weapons on-the-fly because it’s innate and anyone can use a brick or a club. He also claims that one person cannot defend against multiple opponents, and if he gets into a wrestling match on the ground, he’ll always have a friend there to make sure someone doesn’t kick him or bludgeon him to death. He is a narcissist and tends to think his dominance in the world is predetermined because his middle class mommy breastfed him too long. He has no idea that most people hate him, and he shouts from the rooftops at how great his style is and how gay everyone else is.
They’re both delusional. This community is plum full of the metrosexual gladiators, who are so much more deserving of the ridicule.
What does the military and LEO professional use in their training, battle tested every single day? They field test their weapons expensively. They clean their gun after every use and after predetermined amounts of time depending on the climate, they cycle their ammo through several magazines so as to maintain proper magazine spring tension over time, they only use factory new ammo, and they learn to break down those weapons and clear jams in the field. They also learn how to take guns safely away from people. They treat their firearms like they are always loaded, and before taking one into the field check the magazine and the chamber every single time because those procedures are proven to keep people in their careers alive.
So, if this sport monkey no weapons training required attitude is the ultimate in self-defense, why don’t the professionals in the military and LEO communities around the world jump on board and stop wasting all that time with pesky weapons training?
In my experience, outside of the octagon, everyone that fights you on the street or in combat only does so when they think they have a clear advantage. They attack you with more people, with weapons, and if they see you have a weapon too, they bring a bigger one. This is excluding the crazies and substance abusers, who frequently will attack someone when they don’t outnumber them or have a bigger weapon.
So congrats sports fans, for being just as stupid as the LARPers, but twice as loud, angry, and opinionated. Your only redeeming quality is that you often have the decency to wear your Tap Out T-shirts and sport your beefcake necks advertising your training to anyone paying attention, who then can make sure to get a bigger metrosexual gladiator, a weapon, or more friends available if a confrontation with you becomes likely.
Posturing In My Speedo,
Antiherozero
