LF An Extra Homoerotic MMA Studio

Hello Bullshido Community,

I’ve long considered this site to be too brutish, mind-numbingly dumb, juvenile, and full of steroid-induced rage about testicle shrinkage to actually become a member; but I’ve rethought my position and decided I want to be part of the winning team instead. So, please, welcome me with love and stuff.

I’m looking for a highly rated BJJ studio in the Seattle area to begin training at. Now I have some requirements for what I need in a dojo, so here goes:

  1. Advertising itself as MMA behind a veil only thin enough to fool it’s gym ape members that it’s actually just BJJ marketed to modern tough guy wannabes.
  2. The members need to consider themselves elite modern gladiators even though they’ve never killed anyone or had a hangnail in the ring.
  3. Rampant steroid abuse is a must. Tiny testicles and blossoming man-breasts need to be abundant.
  4. Everyone must wrestle wearing only their speedo at all times, to simulate… realism. Yeah, sweet sweaty realism…
  5. Everyone needs to be a juvenile idiot with absolutely no training history with a quality instructor for any considerable length of time in any other TA, but should draw from that lack of experience an overwhelming certainty at the superiority of BJJ, and should be willing to repeat that certainty like it’s a religious doctrine.
  6. Everyone MUST swear a blood oath that the only form of alive training humanly possible to condition people for a fight on the streets is MMA competitions with rules and stuff.

Inappropriate Fondling Under The Guise Of MMA Training,
Antiherozero

^^ awesome

Now, Evil Solvalou, use your words…

Is that straw I see? Yes, Mounds and Mounds of Straw.

[QUOTE=ninpolives;2521063]And I’m still waiting to hear from the house ninjas as to EXACTLY how anything ive said disgraces the art. Just because I dont agree with all of you doesnt mean Im a disgrace.[/QUOTE]

Don’t worry about it, this is a community of trolls and single-minded morons, so expecting constructive discussions here is tad naive’. From what I’ve read (and there was some wine involved) thus far into the forums, you haven’t done anything to disgrace any of the x-kan organizations. You’re new and some feel unqualified to make any defense of taijutsu threads in general, probably justifying so, but you clearly have been paying some attention to who you train with and you’ll probably do fine in your time there.

I think the title of your thread probably rubs people the wrong way, and you did post this in the general humor section of the forums (what you’ve read so far is what this community thinks is clever, 24/7). The x-kan don’t call it ninjutsu, as what is trained today is generally missing 90% of that historic training, and too many charlatan indies cropped up using that as their advertising centerpiece.

Now my response from thus far on will be flamed and ridiculed, but as I’ve said, I don’t value this community as anything except trolls and man-boys with juvenile humor. The rest of my response will be used to call me a LARPer and a liar, but this is a place where 99% of the people have never used their training to survive outside of a few dojo man-humps or fake gladiator rings.

Yes, stealth has a place in survival training. Very few legitimate x-kan teachers teach stealth techniques they’ve learned from Japan though. I personally grew up in a military family born into a tradition of martial arts, and I was taught when I was very young about stealth and evasion (it was probably old military manual training much more than anything x-kan), and I used to make this dumb game of sneaking out of the house and running around at night scaring my neighbors, getting the cops called on me and then having a fun little adventure of sneaking back home without them catching me. I never got caught, or shot miraculously, and when I got older and used to jog at night during hot summers, the numerous times I got jumped by several guys who were only brave because of the favorable odds (and likely weapons), they never caught me. Many of these 1 vs 1 mat monkeys have never been faced with bad odds to understand the value of stealth training, or watch too much TV and think you can only obtain such training by being a spec ops soldier; but the majority are probably just trolling you by pretending they can’t imagine a scenario where stealth would help you survive on the streets.

There are several instructors who are active military and police in the x-kans, so don’t even bother with trying to prove to the sport nerds that some x-kans use alive training. Never mind that half of the people in the x-kans used to (or still do) competition based arts as well. My old mentor and x-kan teacher had a black belt in four martial arts, two of them x-kans, and that was what he actively taught us. He was a SWAT operator and we used to bring in the local cops to trains with us in a very dangerous precinct. It did just fine keeping their asses safe. My teacher in Nevada was a former Ranger unarmed tactics instructor who then went on to be bodyguard and third party hostage rescue specialist in the private sector. From the intimate nature of the conversations we had, I got the distinct feeling he had used his taijutsu a couple of times in combat when interrogating enemy soldiers. He also used to teach all the special forces taking his unarmed classes taijutsu.

I’ve used my taijutsu several times in street fights, most of it as a bouncer, and never once had it go wrong or get me in trouble. However, I cross-trained a lot, with a lot of grappling arts, and I was careful who I fought and how I did it. When I’ve gotten into trouble in the past by fighting someone who was a far better stand-up fighter than I am, I’ve always gone back to my Judo training in my youth. I’m of the opinion you should never fight a striker with strikes or a grappler with grapples, which was a taijutsu lesson instilled in me in my youth.

You’re new enough that the scope of the quality control problems in the Bujinkan are probably hard to grasp right now, but know that there are far, far more people running around the world teaching Bujinkan that I would rather not train with than those I would. If you want a mature discourse on real Bujinkan discussions, I don’t know of any place besides MAP for it, which has strict moderation of behavior. The Bujinkan really does get so damn many LARPers and crazies trying to associate with it that the troll bait will never cease.

Oh, and don’t try to argue the history of the art with these buffoons. It always comes down to Hatsumi not letting the scientists remove his documentation from his home to be verified, and them refusing (or likely being unable to) do the necessary assessments in his home. If people argue that the ninja never existed, reference the grave of Hatori Hanzo, the most famous historical ninja. The trolls will probably still say Jimmy Hoffa is buried there.

Good luck in your training. I hope you have a good teacher and learn to ignore the fashionable metro gladiators.

Hugs & Teddy Bears,
Antiherozero

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]Don’t worry about it, this is a community of trolls and single-minded morons, so expecting constructive discussions here is tad naive’. From what I’ve read (and there was some wine involved) thus far into the forums, you haven’t done anything to disgrace any of the x-kan organizations. You’re new and some feel unqualified to make any defense of taijutsu threads in general, probably justifying so, but you clearly have been paying some attention to who you train with and you’ll probably do fine in your time there.

I think the title of your thread probably rubs people the wrong way, and you did post this in the general humor section of the forums (what you’ve read so far is what this community thinks is clever, 24/7). The x-kan don’t call it ninjutsu, as what is trained today is generally missing 90% of that historic training, and too many charlatan indies cropped up using that as their advertising centerpiece.

Now my response from thus far on will be flamed and ridiculed, but as I’ve said, I don’t value this community as anything except trolls and man-boys with juvenile humor. The rest of my response will be used to call me a LARPer and a liar, but this is a place where 99% of the people have never used their training to survive outside of a few dojo man-humps or fake gladiator rings.

Yes, stealth has a place in survival training. Very few legitimate x-kan teachers teach stealth techniques they’ve learned from Japan though. I personally grew up in a military family born into a tradition of martial arts, and I was taught when I was very young about stealth and evasion (it was probably old military manual training much more than anything x-kan), and I used to make this dumb game of sneaking out of the house and running around at night scaring my neighbors, getting the cops called on me and then having a fun little adventure of sneaking back home without them catching me. I never got caught, or shot miraculously, and when I got older and used to jog at night during hot summers, the numerous times I got jumped by several guys who were only brave because of the favorable odds (and likely weapons), they never caught me. Many of these 1 vs 1 mat monkeys have never been faced with bad odds to understand the value of stealth training, or watch too much TV and think you can only obtain such training by being a spec ops soldier; but the majority are probably just trolling you by pretending they can’t imagine a scenario where stealth would help you survive on the streets.

There are several instructors who are active military and police in the x-kans, so don’t even bother with trying to prove to the sport nerds that some x-kans use alive training. Never mind that half of the people in the x-kans used to (or still do) competition based arts as well. My old mentor and x-kan teacher had a black belt in four martial arts, two of them x-kans, and that was what he actively taught us. He was a SWAT operator and we used to bring in the local cops to trains with us in a very dangerous precinct. It did just fine keeping their asses safe. My teacher in Nevada was a former Ranger unarmed tactics instructor who then went on to be bodyguard and third party hostage rescue specialist in the private sector. From the intimate nature of the conversations we had, I got the distinct feeling he had used his taijutsu a couple of times in combat when interrogating enemy soldiers. He also used to teach all the special forces taking his unarmed classes taijutsu.

I’ve used my taijutsu several times in street fights, most of it as a bouncer, and never once had it go wrong or get me in trouble. However, I cross-trained a lot, with a lot of grappling arts, and I was careful who I fought and how I did it. When I’ve gotten into trouble in the past by fighting someone who was a far better stand-up fighter than I am, I’ve always gone back to my Judo training in my youth. I’m of the opinion you should never fight a striker with strikes or a grappler with grapples, which was a taijutsu lesson instilled in me in my youth.

You’re new enough that the scope of the quality control problems in the Bujinkan are probably hard to grasp right now, but know that there are far, far more people running around the world teaching Bujinkan that I would rather not train with than those I would. If you want a mature discourse on real Bujinkan discussions, I don’t know of any place besides MAP for it, which has strict moderation of behavior. The Bujinkan really does get so damn many LARPers and crazies trying to associate with it that the troll bait will never cease.

Oh, and don’t try to argue the history of the art with these buffoons. It always comes down to Hatsumi not letting the scientists remove his documentation from his home to be verified, and them refusing (or likely being unable to) do the necessary assessments in his home. If people argue that the ninja never existed, reference the grave of Hatori Hanzo, the most famous historical ninja. The trolls will probably still say Jimmy Hoffa is buried there.

Good luck in your training. I hope you have a good teacher and learn to ignore the fashionable metro gladiators.

Hugs & Teddy Bears,
Antiherozero[/QUOTE]
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]From the intimate nature of the conversations we had, I got the distinct feeling he had used his taijutsu a couple of times in combat when interrogating enemy soldiers. [/QUOTE]
Does hurting people you’re interrogating really require a martial art? I’ll bet an untrained guy could extract all kinds of info from a guy with backup, duct tape and a hammer.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]Don’t worry about it, this is a community of trolls and single-minded morons, so expecting constructive discussions here is tad naive’. From what I’ve read (and there was some wine involved) thus far into the forums, you haven’t done anything to disgrace any of the x-kan organizations. You’re new and some feel unqualified to make any defense of taijutsu threads in general, probably justifying so, but you clearly have been paying some attention to who you train with and you’ll probably do fine in your time there.

I think the title of your thread probably rubs people the wrong way, and you did post this in the general humor section of the forums (what you’ve read so far is what this community thinks is clever, 24/7). The x-kan don’t call it ninjutsu, as what is trained today is generally missing 90% of that historic training, and too many charlatan indies cropped up using that as their advertising centerpiece.

Now my response from thus far on will be flamed and ridiculed, but as I’ve said, I don’t value this community as anything except trolls and man-boys with juvenile humor. The rest of my response will be used to call me a LARPer and a liar, but this is a place where 99% of the people have never used their training to survive outside of a few dojo man-humps or fake gladiator rings.

Yes, stealth has a place in survival training. Very few legitimate x-kan teachers teach stealth techniques they’ve learned from Japan though. I personally grew up in a military family born into a tradition of martial arts, and I was taught when I was very young about stealth and evasion (it was probably old military manual training much more than anything x-kan), and I used to make this dumb game of sneaking out of the house and running around at night scaring my neighbors, getting the cops called on me and then having a fun little adventure of sneaking back home without them catching me. I never got caught, or shot miraculously, and when I got older and used to jog at night during hot summers, the numerous times I got jumped by several guys who were only brave because of the favorable odds (and likely weapons), they never caught me. Many of these 1 vs 1 mat monkeys have never been faced with bad odds to understand the value of stealth training, or watch too much TV and think you can only obtain such training by being a spec ops soldier; but the majority are probably just trolling you by pretending they can’t imagine a scenario where stealth would help you survive on the streets.

There are several instructors who are active military and police in the x-kans, so don’t even bother with trying to prove to the sport nerds that some x-kans use alive training. Never mind that half of the people in the x-kans used to (or still do) competition based arts as well. My old mentor and x-kan teacher had a black belt in four martial arts, two of them x-kans, and that was what he actively taught us. He was a SWAT operator and we used to bring in the local cops to trains with us in a very dangerous precinct. It did just fine keeping their asses safe. My teacher in Nevada was a former Ranger unarmed tactics instructor who then went on to be bodyguard and third party hostage rescue specialist in the private sector. From the intimate nature of the conversations we had, I got the distinct feeling he had used his taijutsu a couple of times in combat when interrogating enemy soldiers. He also used to teach all the special forces taking his unarmed classes taijutsu.

I’ve used my taijutsu several times in street fights, most of it as a bouncer, and never once had it go wrong or get me in trouble. However, I cross-trained a lot, with a lot of grappling arts, and I was careful who I fought and how I did it. When I’ve gotten into trouble in the past by fighting someone who was a far better stand-up fighter than I am, I’ve always gone back to my Judo training in my youth. I’m of the opinion you should never fight a striker with strikes or a grappler with grapples, which was a taijutsu lesson instilled in me in my youth.

You’re new enough that the scope of the quality control problems in the Bujinkan are probably hard to grasp right now, but know that there are far, far more people running around the world teaching Bujinkan that I would rather not train with than those I would. If you want a mature discourse on real Bujinkan discussions, I don’t know of any place besides MAP for it, which has strict moderation of behavior. The Bujinkan really does get so damn many LARPers and crazies trying to associate with it that the troll bait will never cease.

Oh, and don’t try to argue the history of the art with these buffoons. It always comes down to Hatsumi not letting the scientists remove his documentation from his home to be verified, and them refusing (or likely being unable to) do the necessary assessments in his home. If people argue that the ninja never existed, reference the grave of Hatori Hanzo, the most famous historical ninja. The trolls will probably still say Jimmy Hoffa is buried there.

Good luck in your training. I hope you have a good teacher and learn to ignore the fashionable metro gladiators.

Hugs & Teddy Bears,
Antiherozero[/QUOTE]

//youtu.be/5hfYJsQAhl0

Ah, the clever momentary delay before the accusations of LARPing and lying. Quickly, throw in some poop humor to distract me!

Permalost, judging from your post count, I suspect you could successfully interrogate a man by being a chatty little school girl as well. :slight_smile:

It’s neat how you guys are too dumb to edit my quote instead of wall-of-text spamming the thread repeatedly with it. It’s like the trolls are attacking each other with my words now.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527479]

Permalost, judging from your post count, I suspect you could successfully interrogate a man by being a chatty little school girl as well. :)[/quote]

Oh look we have a post count troll.

It’s neat how you guys are too dumb to edit my quote instead of wall-of-text spamming the thread repeatedly with it. It’s like the trolls are attacking each other with my words now.
Why? So you can cry about cherry picking and context later?

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]Quack Quack Quack[/QUOTE]

Your Mother.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527479]Permalost, judging from your post count, I suspect you could successfully interrogate a man by being a chatty little school girl as well. :)[/QUOTE]
Oh yes, they’ll tell me anything when I’m in my schoolgirl uniform.

[QUOTE=Permalost;2527468]Does hurting people you’re interrogating really require a martial art? I’ll bet an untrained guy could extract all kinds of info from a guy with backup, duct tape and a hammer.[/QUOTE]

Information extracted through torture is extremely unreliable. Further, I’d imagine even a lunge punch works against someone who’s restrained.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527479]Ah, the clever momentary delay before the accusations of LARPing and lying. Quickly, throw in some poop humor to distract me!

Permalost, judging from your post count, I suspect you could successfully interrogate a man by being a chatty little school girl as well. :slight_smile:

It’s neat how you guys are too dumb to edit my quote instead of wall-of-text spamming the thread repeatedly with it. It’s like the trolls are attacking each other with my words now.[/QUOTE]

I really love the tone of smug superiority when dismissing arguements made here as just so much trolling/hating. Perhaps next time you could actually read through the comments and see that many of the criticisms of Ninjaism in general are based on logic, reason, and gasp people with real world experience. That wall of text did nothing to refute any of the criticism that you so blithely choose to ignore.

Or, you could just look at all the idiotic Ninja videos on YouTube. That works too.

[QUOTE=Feryk;2527493]Perhaps next time you could actually read through the comments and see that many of the criticisms of Ninjaism in general are based on logic, reason, and gasp people with real world experience.[/QUOTE]

I have my criticisms of the x-kan community and the quack pot indies out there, but mine are based on many years of experience training with and knowing them. How many have you trained with and for how long? Also, how many times have you tested your MA in combat or a street fight?

I know this point will elude most of you, but when Youtube is your primary source in any argument, you’re dumb. Make that your mantra and keep saying it every single day and you “may” stop being dumb eventually, though I suspect most of you lack the necessary neurons.

[QUOTE=W. Rabbit;2527050]No, that shit is bullshit. Monkeys have nothing to do with it.
It’s called hare power.
[/QUOTE]
//youtu.be/rhZubx05P9s

He doesn’t look very clumsy. He’s looks like a gymnast. That’s not fighting.

This is fighting.

//youtu.be/1QviZJSZlTs

So I got curious enough to go back and deal with your original post in an appropriate manner. First off, I’ve never trained in any form of ninpo, but I have sparred with ‘ninjas’ on a number of occasions. It didn’t go well for the ninjas, even before I started training in more alive arts.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]
There are several instructors who are active military and police in the x-kans, so don’t even bother with trying to prove to the sport nerds that some x-kans use alive training. Never mind that half of the people in the x-kans used to (or still do) competition based arts as well. My old mentor and x-kan teacher had a black belt in four martial arts, two of them x-kans, and that was what he actively taught us. He was a SWAT operator and we used to bring in the local cops to trains with us in a very dangerous precinct. It did just fine keeping their asses safe. My teacher in Nevada was a former Ranger unarmed tactics instructor who then went on to be bodyguard and third party hostage rescue specialist in the private sector. From the intimate nature of the conversations we had, I got the distinct feeling he had used his taijutsu a couple of times in combat when interrogating enemy soldiers. He also used to teach all the special forces taking his unarmed classes taijutsu.
[/quote]

So either your ex-ranger was bullshitting you or the following is true: He’s a war criminal who jeopardized the mission and other soldiers in the field by not letting someone who was properly qualified interrogate those POWs/detainees.

Secondly, rangers are SF-capable forces but that does not make them the same as SF.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]
I’ve used my taijutsu several times in street fights, most of it as a bouncer, and never once had it go wrong or get me in trouble. However, I cross-trained a lot, with a lot of grappling arts, and I was careful who I fought and how I did it. When I’ve gotten into trouble in the past by fighting someone who was a far better stand-up fighter than I am, I’ve always gone back to my Judo training in my youth. I’m of the opinion you should never fight a striker with strikes or a grappler with grapples, which was a taijutsu lesson instilled in me in my youth.
[/QUOTE]

I used to bounce as well, and removing a rowdy patron != a street fight. Such people are usually impaired due to alcohol and most of them have no idea how to actually fight.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]
You’re new enough that the scope of the quality control problems in the Bujinkan are probably hard to grasp right now, but know that there are far, far more people running around the world teaching Bujinkan that I would rather not train with than those I would. If you want a mature discourse on real Bujinkan discussions, I don’t know of any place besides MAP for it, which has strict moderation of behavior. The Bujinkan really does get so damn many LARPers and crazies trying to associate with it that the troll bait will never cease.
[/QUOTE]

So essentially there’s a lot of merit to what is said here about LARPing and lack of aliveness in training. I’ll suggest the same thing that has been suggested time and again in threads like this. Take video of how you train differently and let us see. It might allow us a different opinion of BBT than we’ve been allowed in the past. After all, we can only make judgments based of what we’ve seen or experienced.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]
Oh, and don’t try to argue the history of the art with these buffoons. It always comes down to Hatsumi not letting the scientists remove his documentation from his home to be verified, and them refusing (or likely being unable to) do the necessary assessments in his home. If people argue that the ninja never existed, reference the grave of Hatori Hanzo, the most famous historical ninja. The trolls will probably still say Jimmy Hoffa is buried there.

Good luck in your training. I hope you have a good teacher and learn to ignore the fashionable metro gladiators.

Hugs & Teddy Bears,
Antiherozero[/QUOTE]

I can understand Hatsumi not wanting to part with the scrolls, especially if they were legitimate. However, if he wanted to prove their legitimacy then he had to realize that having them tested was the only way to do so. I doubt anyone here will try to say that ninja never existed or that their art was always a steaming pile of shit, but the black pajamas are ridiculous and based on the portrayal of ninja in kabuki theater. Ninja in kabuki were dressed as stagehands, who wore black clothing and hoods with eye slits in order to help the audience with suspension of disbelief. Essentially the black outfit signified that they were not there. Also, I don’t have any sources on the last, but isn’t there a lot of dispute whether or not Hanzo was a ninja?

I just finished this monstrosity of a thread to realize it continued for something like 25 pages after the OP left. WTF is wrong with this community? This place has become the new Chat Roulette for fapping trolls. If Youtube were the path to true mastery, I’d be too scared to type in here with you bad asses.

[QUOTE=wetware;2527532]So I got curious enough to go back and deal with your original post in an appropriate manner. First off, I’ve never trained in any form of ninpo, but I have sparred with ‘ninjas’ on a number of occasions. It didn’t go well for the ninjas, even before I started training in more alive arts.[/QUOTE]

I cannot speak about the people you’ve trained with, but the vast majority of taijutsu students in the world are Bujinkan or some indie clowns not worth mentioning. The Jinenkan and Genbukan train much harder and have higher quality control than Bujinkan, but they are very small organizations, so finding their members to spar with is probably pretty damn difficult.

As for what you said about the Ranger, I have no idea what he did and didn’t do during operations, because I didn’t quiz him on it. I only know a bit about what he eluded to, and considering it was an intimate training group sharing info among security professionals, it would have been bad form for me to demand a formal quote from him on the subject.

However, third party hostage rescue work is pretty much illegal in every possible sense of the word. Negotiations fail and a group of former spec ops go into some shitty third world country to conduct and illegal clandestine force-on-force extraction, and they better be good because if they fail they’re either going to jail forever or dying. At least that’s my novice understanding of the career.

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527535]I just finished this monstrosity of a thread to realize it continued for something like 25 pages after the OP left. WTF is wrong with this community? This place has become the new Chat Roulette for fapping trolls. If Youtube were the path to true mastery, I’d be too scared to type in here with you bad asses.[/QUOTE]

It’s in YMAS. Which means trolling for shits and giggles is not only allowed, but encouraged.