LF An Extra Homoerotic MMA Studio

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else Trollshido
21

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527535] If Youtube were the path to true mastery, I’d be too scared to type in here with you bad asses.[/QUOTE]

All joking aside…there have been several well-publicized incidents of Bullshido members showing up gasp in person to settle disputes in the ring. True, much of the gong sau mania is stupid and leads to nothing except challenges and shit -talking that goes nowhere.
However, there ARE people here (or at least used to be people here) who would gladly accept an invitation to throw down.
So, we aren’t all a bunch of posers here. You might want to check your suppositions at the door…as you have asked us to do regarding your art of choice.

22

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527093]Hello Bullshido Community,

I’ve long considered this site to be too brutish, mind-numbingly dumb, juvenile, and full of steroid-induced rage about testicle shrinkage to actually become a member; but I’ve rethought my position and decided I want to be part of the winning team instead. So, please, welcome me with love and stuff.

I’m looking for a highly rated BJJ studio in the Seattle area to begin training at. Now I have some requirements for what I need in a dojo, so here goes:

  1. Advertising itself as MMA behind a veil only thin enough to fool it’s gym ape members that it’s actually just BJJ marketed to modern tough guy wannabes.
  2. The members need to consider themselves elite modern gladiators even though they’ve never killed anyone or had a hangnail in the ring.
  3. Rampant steroid abuse is a must. Tiny testicles and blossoming man-breasts need to be abundant.
  4. Everyone must wrestle wearing only their speedo at all times, to simulate… realism. Yeah, sweet sweaty realism…
  5. Everyone needs to be a juvenile idiot with absolutely no training history with a quality instructor for any considerable length of time in any other TA, but should draw from that lack of experience an overwhelming certainty at the superiority of BJJ, and should be willing to repeat that certainty like it’s a religious doctrine.
  6. Everyone MUST swear a blood oath that the only form of alive training humanly possible to condition people for a fight on the streets is MMA competitions with rules and stuff.

Inappropriate Fondling Under The Guise Of MMA Training,
Antiherozero[/QUOTE]

I would respond by saying fuck you, but I’m afraid you might take it as an invitation.

23

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527535]I cannot speak about the people you’ve trained with, but the vast majority of taijutsu students in the world are Bujinkan or some indie clowns not worth mentioning. The Jinenkan and Genbukan train much harder and have higher quality control than Bujinkan, but they are very small organizations, so finding their members to spar with is probably pretty damn difficult.[/QUOTE]

You have done a lot of typing so far but you have not mentioned anything about how you train. I would quite honestly be interested in reading some of the details about how the TRUE Ninjas like you actually do their combat training, i.e. what kind of striking and grappling do you do, what arts are the techniques similar to, how do you spar, do you wear any protective gear, what kind of conditioning do you do, etc. I don’t care about weapons or baby powder training or where you get your pajamas.

24

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527461]Don’t worry about it, this is a community of trolls and single-minded morons, so expecting constructive discussions here is tad naive’. From what I’ve read (and there was some wine involved) thus far into the forums, you haven’t done anything to disgrace any of the x-kan organizations.

…blah, blah, blah…[/QUOTE]

Welcome to Bullshido, antiherozero, defender of ninja.

Drinking while reading may increase your enjoyment of this forum. But please don’t drink and type.

Strangely, you seem to have some unrefined golden nuggets in your passionate sermon. Maybe there is hope for you. I wish you luck.

25

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527535]As for what you said about the Ranger, I have no idea what he did and didn’t do during operations, because I didn’t quiz him on it. I only know a bit about what he eluded to, and considering it was an intimate training group sharing info among security professionals, it would have been bad form for me to demand a formal quote from him on the subject.
[/QUOTE]

BTW, this passage seems to be implying that you are a “security professional.” Now this is a broad category, but if you are a current or former member of the military or LEO community, you should pop over to the Bullshido Support Forum and inquire about getting the proper tags. There is an easily identified Tag Request thread. A moderator will respond to your request and explain what is necessary.

Having a Military or LEO tag will enhance your credibility when posting commentary on related topics.

26

Well, I realize this is entirely a troll driven question with an agenda, but since I’m finishing my organic burrito here I’ll indulge you.

I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a ninja. I don’t know any ninjas, but if I meet one I’ll ask them how they train for you.

I’ve been moving around a lot recently, so I don’t have a dojo. The only training I do is solo, kata, etc. I have a couple of teachers in mind that I’m going to contact for training soon, but it’s not very high on my life priority list at the moment. My training is such a bastardization of various arts that I don’t take on students because I have no idea if what I do works for anyone else, only that it has worked well enough for me in the past.

When I was actively training in the x-kan and various studios over the years, the training was kata for warm-ups 20%, break-falls and acrobatics 10%, new material 25%, and randori/sparring 25%. This varied depending on how many new students there were, and sometimes I got stuck teaching the lowbies basics while the real class did it’s thing. There were never any pads or safety equipment. My first dick instructor was a relative in my back yard, and we trained in snow, rain, wind, etc. There was a fair amount of torn clothes and blood. I once was given an ultimatum of training through a fractured elbow with 1 hour of break falls in a character building exercise against my skateboarding without safety equipment hobby. I’ve been hit in the head very violently with bokkens many times, I got punched in the mouth repeatedly after oral surgery that resulted in an ER trip later that night. I once met a high ranking Jinenkan teacher who punched me at about 20% of his total force so hard that it bruised my ribs and hurt to breath for a week. I’ve been kicked in the balls numerous times and expected to train through the pain. Lastly, I know what it feels like to have someone dig their fingers into your skin to grip your clavicles and then violently shake your chest cavity and ribs. I don’t recommend it.

There is a lot of obsolete weapons training in the x-kan world, and trying to find a good teacher who doesn’t bother with it and adds in firearms to curriculum is very rare. Also, as I’ve stated, the quality control problems are horrendous in the Bujinkan, so many students I won’t associate with.

[QUOTE=Styygens;2527582]Having a Military or LEO tag will enhance your credibility when posting commentary on related topics.[/QUOTE]

No military or LEO experience. Just been a bouncer and a VIP babysitter.

27

Very few legitimate x-kan teachers teach stealth techniques they’ve learned from Japan

But a true Ninja knows that stealth is just a matter of patience and agility. Just as Ra’s al-Ghul

28

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527583]No military or LEO experience. Just been a bouncer and a VIP babysitter.[/QUOTE]

“VIP Babysitter?” I’m sorry, I realize this has been an antagonistic thread, and the defensive attitude is understandable. Are you saying you work in the executive protection field in addition to bouncing?

29

EP work is generally reserved for live-in arrangements. I’ve been on one-day-only security details of some people, but I don’t do that anymore.

[QUOTE=Kintanon;2527612]That is some terrible training that likely did more to impede your learning than enhance it. Hopefully it made you tough enough to endure all of the ass kickings you must have received while trying to employ it.[/QUOTE]

Don’t you have some anarchy to be field testing your glam class BJJ training on, or are you too busy typing from safety before your next scheduled hump fest?

Seriously, TKD is kind of a joke man. One of my first fights happened with my now best friend, a TKD Olympic hopeful who was featured in Black Belt Magazine. We get sick of each other every few years and fight it out, and it never goes well for him.

[QUOTE=Mark 42;2527600]Essentially, I don’t think they are learning anything useful, and it’s
not aerobic enough for what we are after (we are using it as P.E.
for a homeschool program). Feel free to send me a PM when you get
access to that feature. If you want to visit the school and give your
impression, I’d be interested to hear your take on it.[/QUOTE]

No idea who this question is addressed to, but if you want them to have an aerobic workout, a grappling art is the way to go. I wouldn’t worry about what grappling art, only the quality of the teacher, which you will only be able to assess if you do the training with them (and maybe not even then). If you want them to learn proper self-defense, that is a lifelong endeavor that requires a broad range of skill sets, and you’re unlikely to get great information in such a heavily BJJ/judo biased community.

30

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527641]EP work is generally reserved for live-in arrangements. I’ve been on one-day-only security details of some people, but I don’t do that anymore.[/QUOTE]

I didn’t realize there was a distinction.

Is there a difference in licensing or qualifications between doing one-day jobs versus longer term?

Is EP more serious? For instance, are you really more of a hired entourage for show on a one-day detail versus “necessary security” in EP?

Why’d you get out of it?

31

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527583]
I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a ninja. I don’t know any ninjas, but if I meet one I’ll ask them how they train for you.[/QUOTE]
Why are you defending them then? What the hell do you know about it? There are people posting on this thread critically, with actual experience in ninpo.

The only training I do is solo, kata, etc…My training is such a bastardization of various arts that I don’t take on students because I have no idea if what I do works for anyone else, only that it has worked well enough for me in the past.

Again, what are you basing your criticism on, if you only train solo? If you’re picking and choosing between arts’ techniques, as we are advocating…what exactly are you having a problem with? You already know you’re in a comedy forum…WTF?

I once met a high ranking Jinenkan teacher who punched me at about 20% of his total force so hard that it bruised my ribs and hurt to breath for a week.

You believed him?

I’ve been kicked in the balls numerous times and expected to train through the pain. Lastly, I know what it feels like to have someone dig their fingers into your skin to grip your clavicles and then violently shake your chest cavity and ribs. I don’t recommend it.

Training like that is stupid. Sadistic, and counter-productive.

You don’t have to get hurt, to train well.

32

[QUOTE=Styygens;2527664]I didn’t realize there was a distinction.

Is there a difference in licensing or qualifications between doing one-day jobs versus longer term?

Is EP more serious? For instance, are you really more of a hired entourage for show on a one-day detail versus “necessary security” in EP?

Why’d you get out of it?[/QUOTE]

The licensing and qualifications required vary from state-to-state, and even by county in Nevada. Nevada is not like most states because anyone without a felony can carry a firearm loaded openly at all times outside of bars and government locations. With a CCW you can carry in bars. Dueling is still “technically” legal. Many people who do professional VIP babysitting in the US are grossly under-qualified, and most of the good personnel are former military. Many security professionals don’t just do close protection work and branch out into things like PI and PMC work.

I have no idea how necessary I was. If my enemy was boredom I vigilantly combated it.

What did I get out of what, specifically?

33

You said you stopped doing protective work. Why did you “get out of” the one-day-only protective details?

34

I think he means that ‘vip babysitting’ SOUNDS like a pretty cushy job, and is interested in why you aren’t doing this any more.

35

too boring dealing with snotty celebs?

36

I had a falling out with someone who we worked with, I moved, and I was planning to go overseas to continue training and work but I developed acute carpel tunnel in both wrists at 25. I guess it’s fairly common in some martial arts that focus heavily on wrist restraints. I had to cancel my training trip though and I met my ex-wife, who domesticated me in the two years of surgery and recovery it required to fix both hands. Then I got divorced and met my current girlfriend, who I don’t really want to leave to go overseas to play boyscout away from. It’s largely tedious, boring work, requiring extended travel, and it’s very “feast or famine” with jobs being sporadic. It would require me enlisting to continue to get those jobs, because for all intents and purposes, only vets get the good jobs.

37

antiherozero – I see. Thank you for the response.

38

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527696]I had a falling out with someone who we worked with, I moved, and I was planning to go overseas to continue training and work but I developed acute carpel tunnel in both wrists at 25. I guess it’s fairly common in some martial arts that focus heavily on wrist restraints. I had to cancel my training trip though and I met my ex-wife, who domesticated me in the two years of surgery and recovery it required to fix both hands. Then I got divorced and met my current girlfriend, who I don’t really want to leave to go overseas to play boyscout away from. It’s largely tedious, boring work, requiring extended travel, and it’s very “feast or famine” with jobs being sporadic. It would require me enlisting to continue to get those jobs, because for all intents and purposes, only vets get the good jobs.[/QUOTE]

This is the best post I’ve read of yours.
Thanks, and +rep.

39

Hello Crazy People

Hi,

I’m new to this turd in the cesspool of the Internet, and I’d like to know how to post funny photos next to my name. Should I have received an email when I registered? I WANNA POST FUNNY PHOTOS!

Also, I am not a ninja.

Love,
Me

40

[QUOTE=antiherozero;2527641]
Don’t you have some anarchy to be field testing your glam class BJJ training on, or are you too busy typing from safety before your next scheduled hump fest?

Seriously, TKD is kind of a joke man. One of my first fights happened with my now best friend, a TKD Olympic hopeful who was featured in Black Belt Magazine. We get sick of each other every few years and fight it out, and it never goes well for him.
[/QUOTE]

I think you may have me confused with someone else. I don’t give two shits about anarchists. As for TKD, I agree. It’s kind of shit. That’s why I switched. Had I known at 14 what I know now about martial arts I’d have been in Judo instead. Now I try to help other people avoid those same kind of mistakes. You on the other hand seem hell bent on trying to support a system of training that has consistently been revealed as a failure.