I assumed you were being sarcastic.
I was
But that doesn’t mean I think cops should hit on people they come in contact with during work hours
My point was a police/civilian relationship is fraught with the same conflicts of interest and asymmetric power balances, but there are clear codes of practice, as there are for Dr’s
Perhaps governing bodies of sports should have clear guidelines for coaches, or enforce any rules that already exist
We don’t make speed limits for responsible highly skilled drivers with good judgement. we make them for everyone else.
We don’t make rules against fraternization to stop responsible people from making deep meaningful relationships. We do it to protect people from predatory assholes. The first guy that thinks he’s the exception is probably the problem.
(Throws GI in the bin and becomes Catholic priest )
Uh, let’s all watch PDA around them choir boys.
Just saying…
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If you do not understand how an instructor dating a student is an abuse of the student/teacher relationship, well then you’re just dumb.
I read a lot of dumb replies in this thread.
It’s so easy for an instructor to take advantage of students who tend to hero worship them. By the way, for those who are slow, that’s a classic example of predatory behavior.
Are there exceptions? There always are, but the general rule is you don’t do it.
Students dating students is not the same, although as Gordon pointed out, it can put a lot of strain on the gym environment.
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Having sex because you’re the coolest guy they know isn’t predatory. It’s how women choose.
100% certifiable bullshit. Congratulations, you’re a creeper.
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Nah. Doing cool shit in my best shape and whipping the other guys asses makes girls horny for me. It’s fine. Consensual sex is in fact consensual. The testing is objective, so that doesn’t matter. I don’t see an issue. It also means that you can have a bunch of people around talking about choking people without your GF feeling intimidated.
You can spin it however you want, but the fact is it’s an abuse of trust. All you are doing is equivocating.
The exception I know of is an instructor and a student that had feelings for each other, but didn’t act on them for over a year. She quit the gym so she could date him without there being a conflict of interest. 6 months after they were dating, he sat his students down and asked how they would feel if she came back. They voted to bring her back.
That was an example of doing it in a clean manner.
It’s generally unprofessional, and often creates pain in the ass situations, and distractions for the people who go to the dojo, for its actual purpose, training.
It’s usually the other way around, looking for the gravy train.
Olympic sports do, from the national olympic org. (USOC in the USA) on down through the NGBs.
I remember when the new guidelines (well, the guidelines/rules/ethics rules) came down. The howls of objections that happened at that USA Judo meeting and subsequent others…
I signed a coaching ethics agreement (multiple times). Same thing when I got credentialed in Canada. It’s a HUGE deal.
Many complained that “those rules” were for coaches who had professional relationships with Elite-level athletes, not local dojo sensei…
Wrong again…
One thing I have not seen mentioned, although it was touched on by @Dung.Beatles , is this (and I speak from experience as a former professional Judo teacher/coach.
Some women (and I presume men), come to a martial arts club LOOKING AT IT AS A WAY TO MEET someone for romantic activity. How do I know that?
I’ve seen it happen, and I’ve been the object of…attraction several different times. I’ve seen students hook up as well, which is OK, as long as it’s not happening during practice. There is some nuance ther as well I won’t get into.
And as crude as this may seem, there are women (I presume men too, but I’m not gay or bi), who are attracted to the instructor/teacher type of person, in that setting. That’s what they want…
Then there are the type who are turned on by grappling. Literally…
In any case, @Dung.Beatles has it exactly correct, especially in a business situation, but overall, IME, it’s best not to mix business and pleasure like that.
The ethical and smart thing to do is to stop the professional relationship and proceed from there.
If it’s real, that should work just fine.
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One fucking hundred. Anybody whose actually had to deal with that knows this.
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So you like the young boys, then?
Can’t tell if you are serious or not…
Not crude at all IMO…many women are attracted to the “leader” of the group. This is the same reason even your local bar band will probably have at least a couple of females throwing themselves at the singer (or maybe guitarist if he takes a lot of spotlight) No Its not usually for their musical attributes, or the fantasy dude will ever be an arena rocking millionaire, but because he is confident and commands attention.
I have heard even odd professions like auctioneers have groupies…hell we’ve seen it again and again about preachers and you could blame religion or you could consider when a man is passionate about the same thing a woman is, but he stands up front and says sing, bow, cheer, laugh , cry and people do, he gains that power / leadership / protector role.
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I’ll work better on my sarcasm, LOL.