Badass of the Month April 2008 - Phil Elmore

Yes, you read that right.

Phil Elmore.

It’s a name we’ve kicked around here on Bullshido like a 3 legged, red-headed stepdog, for about 5 years now. And many of you would like to kick around more than just the guy’s name, I’m sure. Too bad he’s armed with a sword and a wicked subtle approximation of a double wu sau.

In all seriousness though, it’s taken us this long to realize something about Phil. And this revelation is why he’s earned April’s Badass of the Month award.

Are you ready for it?

Phil Elmore is the Stephen Colbert of RBSD.

That’s right; you heard me. We’ve come to the conclusion that he’s been lampooing the hell out of the real survivalist nutjobs, borderline Nazis, and subtly racist, hyper-paranoid white men in the RBSD community. And this makes him totally badass.

Seriously, it takes a ridiculous amount of dedication and chutzpa to build a persona around some of the most embarassing aspects of the Martial Arts. And then to go and actually live that persona to the point where you’re doing interviews and publishing books as that character is a feat greater than the most maniacal dreams of Andy Kaufman.

[wright]http://www.bullshido.net/images/streetsword.jpg[/wright] Phil, we at Bullshido salute the ever-living-fuck out of you for successfully trolling not just us, but Paladin Press, and Walter Mitty military LARPers everywhere. It takes b-b-b-balls of steel to make fun of the Tackleberries of the world who walk around armed to the teeth. Your willingness to put your gigantic ass on the line and stare death in the face for the sake of lulz has earned our respect.

I mean come on, “Street Sword”! You’re the fucking man. Whereas Bullshido has set up camp on the outskirts of crazytown to point and laugh at its residents, you moved right the fuck in and convinced them to elect you as Mayor. Cohones, my friend; no doubt you spent your publishing residuals on buying a H1 just to haul them around.

You truly are, the Badass of the Month.

It’s about time, my friends and I were just talking about this last week.

Mayor McCheese approves of this message.

Is this an April Fools joke?

THAT’S UNTR00! DAT’S UMPOSSIBLE!

No, not at all. This is entirely serious.

Phil’s successfully trolled Paladin Press and the entire RBSD community. That’s just brilliant.

Dude…friends? At least make your trolling believable.

Give it up, you’re not going to make me cry again.

this is what I’ve been saying for years

You’ve been saying you’re not going to cry again for years?

lol @ Tackleberries of the world.


See that person? Yeah, could you shoot him for me?

EDIT: DAMN! That was supposed to be aimed RIGHT at your Avatar. >_<

So… we’re saying Phil Elmore is the Unltimate MA troll?

Lol, i can live with that…

It won’t take long for short-hand empty-hand to demonstrate its worth in the cage either!

So, by going with “RBSD”, one can strive to join the ranks of “survivalist nutjobs, borderline Nazis and subtly racist hyper-paranoid white men”?

Now that’s a goal.

In Phrost I trusted, to point the Way–and verily all has been made clear.

<edit profile>

Immeasurably-proud to say, I even have RBSD credentials: something called “Defendo” when I was in Armoured Recce many years back. Also, something I took more recently in Vancouver with the same name (“Defendo”)–which is why I signed up for a session of it–but it didn’t much resemble what I had done between Iltis-accidents in Toronto. (Don’t know if my old regiment has gotten rid of “Defendo”, but I sure hope they’ve ditched the Iltis. Fucking thing rolls over if you stand next to it and sneeze, and troopers have enough to deal with as it is).

As for the Vancouver version of “Defendo”, it took me less than a week to injure just about every other participant in their CORE (don’t remember what it stands for) seminar: mixed bag of newly-minted cops and “TMA” blackbelts. The instructor had planned an all-out fight-scenario full-contact-sparring-and-rolling-bouts last day, but there was only one person there still in fighting condition…li’l ol’ me, the guy who’d put the hurt on almost everyone else.

We hyper-paranoids call that “pre-emption”.

Never heard of the fat guy with the sword mentioned in the OP until I saw mention of him in this forum. Does he spar, roll or otherwise take challenges from other borderline Nazis…just, y’know for fun?

Everyone likes fun.

Actually, he quit his Wing Chun school because the instructor started requiring sparring.

And then his instructor started posting here.

And then he sucked up to his instructor behind the scenes to save what “cred” he thought he had.

I am having trouble believing this thread.

It’s gotta be a April Fools thread…

…right?

Ugh. My head hurts

:psyduck:

Do you REALLY think we’d joke about Phil Elmore? I mean, it’s PHIL EL-MORE. The baddest man on the planet. I mean, HE said it, so it MUST be true.

I mean, we were all so wrong about him. But now I’ve seen the light. Thank you, Mr. Elmore!

Practical use of the Long Blade for self-defense?

You know, I’m glad you posted this. I said “practical use of the long blade for self-defense” out loud, took a moment to reflect on the fact that we do not live in feudal japan, and this became the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I totally buy this now. Phil Elmore wins the Internet, martial arts, and life.