[QUOTE=jwilde88;2691998]I don’t see why you couldn’t be extradited for skipping country.
Sent from my BlackBerry 9650 using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]
You’re not Whitey Bulger. They’re not going to scour the fucking globe for you.
If you’re that worried about supporting your child, why don’t you just sign over your parental rights? Your ex will probably be glad to get rid of you and it will be no big loss for the kid if you’re that kind of person anyway.
[QUOTE=The Question;2691963]Here being the United States, I presume?[/quote]Yep.
Lol. Credit? The fuck is credit? Job prospects? Employers don’t give a fuck if you father of the year or you eat babies. As long as you do the work, or bribe the right people if you’re a higher up.
No, YOU don’t care.
Also, I hear motherfuckers can suspend your drivers’ license for dodging child support. How true is that shit? If you flee to another country to avoid paying child support, what motherfucking consequencies can the court bring to bear on you?
Ahhh I see the idiocy is still high even after your break. He’s not making a ton of money and neither is she. Yes, he can runaway with his broke ass and be broke in another country. Yes, great option.
Yes, in some states they can suspend your license. If you are in one of “those” states they do “round ups” and catch deadbeat dads with warrants as well. Read what Devil wrote, Read what crappler wrote, read what Res wrote about having kids and either step up or STFU. Those are basically his options unless he is self employed, which means a decent income, or rich.
J88, at this time, embodies neither of those characteristics
Here’s a breakdown of some basic shit deadbeats should know (I am not saying you are one):
They can arrest you, at least in CA, for not paying child support. Suspend your license. Suspend your contractors license. etc. I was actually at a family law legal ed seminar last week and I was blown away. They partner up with everyone, even corporations like Pepsi. It’s unreal the network they have to get deadbeats. They have a computer program like Echelon that just sits around churning away looking for dirtbags.
Despite this fact, the vast majority of support goes uncollected for the same reason the Vietnamese won against the US. There are always cracks one guy with half a brain can exploit. So if you think you are being screwed, there are things you can do. I just think you should really think carefully how it affects the kids, because they end up being screwed the hardest in divorces.
Incidentally, if you get arrested, unless you notify DCSS, you still get arrearages levied. And you can’t retroactively modify child support. It’s non dischargeable in bankruptcy.
[QUOTE=crappler;2692011]Here’s a breakdown of some basic shit deadbeats should know (I am not saying you are one):
They can arrest you, at least in CA, for not paying child support. Suspend your license. Suspend your contractors license. etc. I was actually at a family law legal ed seminar last week and I was blown away. They partner up with everyone, even corporations like Pepsi. It’s unreal the network they have to get deadbeats. They have a computer program like Echelon that just sits around churning away looking for dirtbags.[/quote]Yep.
I just think you should really think carefully how it affects the kids, because they end up being screwed the hardest in divorces.
Yep. Break ups as well.
[QUOTE=Devil;2692001]You’re not Whitey Bulger. They’re not going to scour the fucking globe for you.
If you’re that worried about supporting your child, why don’t you just sign over your parental rights? Your ex will probably be glad to get rid of you and it will be no big loss for the kid if you’re that kind of person anyway.[/QUOTE]
I really don’t know how you infer that I’m “worried” about supporting my child from my posts. It’s just that now that I’m in this situation it has me curious if the same bias exists with other countries family courts. I don’t think I’d be looking for a second job if I planned on deserting my child.
And as far as what IiF said about what my options are, I wasn’t looking for options. Like I said, I obviously want to be there for my daughter or I wouldn’t be worried about her moving across town. This whole thread started as me asking for advice/thoughts on one situation and led to people telling me how nasty it could get, so naturally I wanted to know more.
[QUOTE=jwilde88;2692020]I really don’t know how you infer that I’m “worried” about supporting my child from my posts.[/QUOTE]Yes, this occurs quite a bit with you. You never realize how the words you type can be taken.
And as far as what IiF said about what my options are, I wasn’t looking for options. Like I said, I obviously want to be there for my daughter or I wouldn’t be worried about her moving across town.
You were looking for advice and asking questions. Guess what advice entails? Answers and Options. You are so full of shit.
[QUOTE=jwilde88;2692020]I really don’t know how you infer that I’m “worried” about supporting my child from my posts. [/QUOTE]
I inferred that because you asked about moving to another country. I assumed you were intrigued by the prospect of relocating outside the U.S. to avoid paying child support. If that was an incorrect assumption, fine.
You just seem way too worried about the bullshit. Play nice with your ex. Give her some money to help support your daughter. Don’t be a dick. If the court orders you to pay more, then pay it and do it on time. Make the most of whatever time you have with your daughter. Hope your ex doesn’t turn into a demon. The end.
You just seem way too worried about the bullshit. Play nice with your ex. Give her some money to help support your daughter. Don’t be a dick. If the court orders you to pay more, then pay it and do it on time. Make the most of whatever time you have with your daughter. Hope your ex doesn’t turn into a demon. The end.[/QUOTE]Shhhh he doesn’t want options.
More advice. Don’t date or hookup including with ex for a set period of time. Maybe six months, a year woul be better. Even if she does (be cool, be polite to any other guy). The only exception would be discussing possible marriage with ex if that is something you are thinking about exploring and you can forge a serious, responsible relationship. The time off from dating will help avoid drama and increase your chance of succeeding in this situation.
More advice. Don’t date or hookup including with ex for a set period of time. Maybe six months, a year woul be better. Even if she does (be cool, be polite to any other guy). The only exception would be discussing possible marriage with ex if that is something you are thinking about exploring and you can forge a serious, responsible relationship. The time off from dating will help avoid drama and increase your chance of succeeding in this situation.[/QUOTE]
This was my plan. I just want to focus on me and my daughter for a while. As far as working it out later or marriage goes, I don’t see that happening. She’s already balls deep in another dude, or most likely vise versa. I doubt I could ever trust her again. She won’t even go to therapy so we can communicate better for our little girl.
[QUOTE=Rivington;2692065]Boy it must be rough to be the totally innocent victim of such a shrewish horny whorish bitch, amirite!![/QUOTE]
I never once said I was some kind of saint, but all in all I treated her right and took care of her and our daughter. If you’re gonna blow everything I say way out of proprtion you should at least make it funny.
I am still at a loss on how this will keep you from seeing your daughter. My work is longer than 40 minutes away and I make it there 5 times a week, rain or shine.
[QUOTE=BoonDog;2692091]I am still at a loss on how this will keep you from seeing your daughter. My work is longer than 40 minutes away and I make it there 5 times a week, rain or shine.[/QUOTE]
Money is the key issue here. Her mom doesn’t work. I have supported the 3 of us working for minimum wage and then I got fired for not carding this woman for cigarettes and at my new job I’ve been getting less than 20 hours a week. After buying gas, diapers, wipes, vitamins, still giving her mom gas because I don’t want anything to happen to my daughter while she’s out in BFE among other things I am dead ass broke. I went 3 weeks without a paycheck so the little money I was able to set aside is long past gone. That is why this move is an issue.
[QUOTE=jwilde88;2692086]If you’re gonna blow everything I say way out of proprtion you should at least make it funny. [/QUOTE]
Yeah Rivington- make it funnier!
[QUOTE=jwilde88;2692101]Money is the key issue here. Her mom doesn’t work. I have supported the 3 of us working for minimum wage and then I got fired for not carding this woman for cigarettes and at my new job I’ve been getting less than 20 hours a week. After buying gas, diapers, wipes, vitamins, still giving her mom gas because I don’t want anything to happen to my daughter while she’s out in BFE among other things I am dead ass broke. I went 3 weeks without a paycheck so the little money I was able to set aside is long past gone. That is why this move is an issue.
Sent from my BlackBerry 9650 using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=BoonDog;2692091]I am still at a loss on how this will keep you from seeing your daughter. My work is longer than 40 minutes away and I make it there 5 times a week, rain or shine.[/QUOTE]
Precisely. My father has his good points and bad points. All in all he just wasn’t the best father really. Fortunately, he wasn’t totally absent and I had some other good male role models when I was a kid.
Anyway, after my parents divorced (completely his fault, by the way) and my mother remarried we moved about 50-55 minutes from my father. He was supposed to come pick my sister and I up every other weekend. Sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn’t. You have no idea how many times I heard the excuse about the drive, blah, blah, blah.
Fast forward a dozen years or so. I was living in the same town I grew up in and I was commuting to the town he lived in every day for work. Do you think that escaped my notice? I assure you it did not.
I don’t hate him for it and I don’t beat him up about it, but I haven’t forgotten either. Here’s the difference. When my mother and stepfather get old I will gladly bring them into my home and care for them every day the way they cared for me every day when I was a child. My father? Nursing home. I’ll visit when I can.
[QUOTE=Devil;2692123]Precisely. My father has his good points and bad points. All in all he just wasn’t the best father really. Fortunately, he wasn’t totally absent and I had some other good male role models when I was a kid.
Anyway, after my parents divorced (completely his fault, by the way) and my mother remarried we moved about 50-55 minutes from my father. He was supposed to come pick my sister and I up every other weekend. Sometimes he did. Sometimes he didn’t. You have no idea how many times I heard the excuse about the drive, blah, blah, blah.
Fast forward a dozen years or so. I was living in the same town I grew up in and I was commuting to the town he lived in every day for work. Do you think that escaped my notice? I assure you it did not.
I don’t hate him for it and I don’t beat him up about it, but I haven’t forgotten either. Here’s the difference. When my mother and stepfather get old I will gladly bring them into my home and care for them every day the way they cared for me every day when I was a child. My father? Nursing home. I’ll visit when I can.[/QUOTE]
I’m not trying to make excuses, this is real shit. I fucked up my whole, not that it’s anyone’s fault but my own, but I have a very poor job history, a couple charges, no car of my own, got kicked out of the military just to name a few things employers hold against me. I would love to rejoin and do it right this time, but they are accepting 0 waivers.
As far as excuses for the drive, I made 150 dollars on my last paycheck and will get even less on the next one. I’m trying to change this, I just got back from putting in applications for a second job so I can have the money to make the trip and still provide for her. I know this is just an internet forum, but I still don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad father or I don’t put every effort forward to be there for my child.