I’m sad that no one got interested in my story.
[quote=helmutlvx;2445496]You… are the Rabbit Kung Fu Master.
Driving through the parking lot on the way to the kwoon in your 1965 black Ford Mustang who you’ve named “Black Sunshine”. Your motor revs as you slow and notice a large truck. The driver’s eyes lock with yours.
Do you…
Jump out of Black Sunshine and challenge the limey bastard for trying to intimidate you?
Turn to page 4
Drive around the truck?
Turn to page 26
Back up, hit the gas pedal, and ram the truck?
Turn to page 16
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2[/quote]
Is there a fill in the blank option?
[quote=helmutlvx;2445496]You… are the Rabbit Kung Fu Master.
Driving through the parking lot on the way to the kwoon in your 1965 black Ford Mustang who you’ve named “Black Sunshine”. Your motor revs as you slow and notice a large truck. The driver’s eyes lock with yours.
Do you…
Jump out of Black Sunshine and challenge the limey bastard for trying to intimidate you?
Turn to page 4
Drive around the truck?
Turn to page 26
Back up, hit the gas pedal, and ram the truck?
Turn to page 16
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2[/quote]
Fine I will play along lets I always liked these till I discovered D&D.
Lets go with turning to page 16
I dunno, maybe.
[quote=goodlun;2445523]Fine I will play along lets I always liked these till I discovered D&D.
Lets go with turning to page 16[/quote]
Deep down in your bones you felt your rabbit instincts calling to you, ready for battle. Grasping the wheel of Black Sunshine, you emit your bellowing cry and charge on for glory.
Unfortunately, your car is not really a Ford Mustang. It is, in fact a Volkswagen Rabbit. Due to a design flaw, your transmissions falls out through the bottom of your car, destroying your forward momentum as you slowly coast and gently nudge the hulking behemoth.
Now feeling slightly queasy, your fingernails dig into the faux-leather of your steering wheel as you see the truck driver step down. The glint from the spurs on his boots shine in the sun, the rest of the world oblivious to your struggle.
Do you…
Step out of the car and unholster your gun?
Turn to page 37
Feign narcolepsy?
Turn to page 38
Immediately go down on your knees and beg for forgiveness?
Turn to page 17
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2
[quote=helmutlvx;2445527]
Step out of the car and unholster your gun?
Turn to page 37
Feign narcolepsy?
Turn to page 38
Immediately go down on your knees and beg for forgiveness?
Turn to page 17
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2[/quote]
oh well I think I am going to go with page 38
Slumping down in your seat, you try to force away the trembling as the footsteps of the truck driver come closer.
He slides his arms into the window and bends down to look at your sleeping form.
“Wut the HELL you doin’, boy?”
“Zzzz… Zzzz… Zzzz…”
“Wake UP, you sumbitch!”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I have narcolepsy. It’s a condition where I spontaneously fall asleep.”
“Ain’t them people not s’posed have driver’s lisance?”
“Well, I must be returning mine, then. Have a nice day.”
You exit the vehicle and begin contemplating how far you can walk before transitioning to a run. The truck driver calls after you.
“HAY! Ain’t you that… Rabbit kung fuin’ master?”
Your retreat is stopped prematurely. Now that this man knows your identity, he must be eliminated.
Do you…
Throw ninja stars?
Turn to page 25
Sprint away?
Turn to page 12
Draw your gun?
Turn to page 37
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2
[quote=helmutlvx;2445527]I dunno, maybe.
Do you…
Step out of the car and unholster your gun?
Turn to page 37
Feign narcolepsy?
Turn to page 38
Immediately go down on your knees and beg for forgiveness?
Turn to page 17
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2[/quote]
I’m going with page 37, Death Wish style.
You reach down to unholster your pistolero, a tumbleweed flies through the background before you realize it isn’t an indigenous plant to New Jersey.
Grasping nothing, you realize… YOUR GUN IS IN YOUR CAR!
Do you…
Try to go back for it?
Turn to page 89
Make a gun shape with your hand and hope for the best?
Turn to page 11
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2
[quote=helmutlvx;2445537]
Throw ninja stars?
Turn to page 25
Sprint away?
Turn to page 12
Draw your gun?
Turn to page 37
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2[/quote]
Oh yeah Ninja Stars it is Page 25
[quote=hungryjoe;2445424]So you’re a dick behind the wheel.
Gottcha[/quote]
I’m really not a dick, I’m a very courteous driver. I use my turn signal for every turn and actually yield at Yield signs, which in Jersey is very rare.
I was driving very slow (it was early so I was a little groggy if anything), <10mph to cross the lot. I only sped up when I realized the guy had begun to reverse and saw his rear tail light out of my left eye. What this guy saw as an “asshole move” was basically me just realizing my situation and swerving to avoid him.
[quote=TheDingo;2445495]Hmmm, confident in your driving abilities 'cause you like to game?
Idling? How do you know since you had just come around the bend at a reasonable speed with aggressive precision?, perhaps he was just stopped, shifting into reverse and didn’t the fuck see you since you were passing on the right – until you fished tailed around him?
Honestly, you come on here admitting that you drive like a dick and want some kudos for not continuing to fan the flames of a situation that would result in you getting your ass kicked?
Wow.[/quote]
I think you described what happened pretty well, but he was idle long enough for me to decide to pass him. You’ve probably done the same thing hundreds of times.
No kudos, wanted to share a personal story about controlling aggression under stress with some of you over aggressive stressed out mofos.
I wasn’t driving like a dick, or fast. He was just in the middle of the lot and didn’t move, so I went to pass him on the right like any driver would have.
Studies have shown gamers are the best drivers, including the safest drivers when using cell phones, for the same reason pilots spend hours on flight simulators.
[quote=Evil Solvalou;2445513]So let me get this straight; you come here preaching about how you’re not getting into a fight you’re above it or have too much to lose or whatever, but you’re happy to drive like a cock snap and endanger yours and other people’s lives.
Too bad if there was a kid walking around on the other side of the truck or running out from between some cars. How would ‘Black Sunshine’ look with a six year old girl’s blood splattered all over it?[/quote]
I don’t know how better to explain what happened but no. I have been a safe, courteous driver for 18 years with no accidents. There were no kids, where I drove was in a standard parking lot lane. The truck was not moving, and then suddenly was moving once I passed it. In fact, I really didn’t do anything reckless.
I appreciate all the attempts at forensically examining what happened by people who were not present. I really do.
At no point did I do anything reckless, aside from gassing to put a car length between me and the truck.
I completely expected people to focus on the uninteresting part of my encounter (the rather exciting 5 second near-accident that would not have been my fault), rather than what I thought was a good example of a martial artist using his head instead of his fists.
Part of the reason I study martial arts is to develop that kind of discipline. Say what you want, but a lot of you probably need more of that.:XXbazooka
Shut up and get involved in your story. I’M DOING THIS FOR YOU.
Make a gun shape with your hand and hope for the best?
Turn to page 11
This action will get you out of almost any situation, especially if you’re MacGyver and don’t believe in carrying a gun.
Hey W. Rabbit, while they’re doing their choose your own adventure story, I’ve written an alternate version of your story:
A tragic thing happened on the way to gong fu training…
I thought I was a very capable driver; I had had moments in the past but I always got though them without major issues, but rather than learning from my mistakes it made me over confident.
As I was driving to gong fu training a few months ago I decided to take a shortcut through a car park. I look back on that day even now and think “if only I had gone slower, exercised some caution and patience, maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess”.
I came around a corner and saw a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Rather than slow down and get a feel for the situation, I kept driving at the same pace, and made to go around it. Unfortunately, I noticed too late that it was reversing. I felt that braking would only cause a crash, so I gunned the throttle and kicked the tail out around the 4x4.
That’s when I went to hell.
On the other side, a child had playfully escaped from her mother’s grasp and had run onto the road. She hit the hood of my car with a dull thud, her head slid up and smashed against the wind screen. I can still see the blood streaking across the screen.
The mother screamed, and I hit the brakes. I looked in horror, wishing I could just go back like in a game, but it was all to real. I stood silently as the mother cried and the 4x4 driver panicked. I could hear the faint sound of sirens in the distance.
I never thought such a small body could have so much blood.
I’m now in prison, posting this during my small allotted Internet time. My time will soon be up, and I will be sent back to my cell to go to bed. My cell mate cries himself to sleep every night, but at least he can sleep; every time I close my eyes I’m haunted by the memory of the mother wailing mournfully for her lost child, the cold, staring eyes of the girl who’s life I stole with my recklessness, and the thought of all the lives I’ve destroyed.
If only I had slowed down.
Yeah, I’ll admit I suck at writing, but you suck in general Rabbit.
Slowly, a thought forms in your mind. Holding your hands to the sky, one arm slowly moves down and forms a gun.
“BANG!”
Suddenly, a spurt of blood erupts from the truck driver’s chest. He falls forward, blood trailing from his mouth and other select orifices. His dying words: “No one will ever know my name…”
In your deep rabbit wisdom, you reach down and hold the truck driver’s hand.
“I… know your name. Wait. What was it again? Oh, he’s dead.”
It was at this moment you realized that hands can’t fire bullets. The only logical solution: SNIPERS.
Do you…
Track down the snipers and dispatch them with your kung fu kicks?
Turn to page 70
Run for dear life?
Turn to page 88
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2
Page 70.
I’m the Wabbit. I know Kung Fu and Judo. Those snipers don’t stand a chance.
[quote=helmutlvx;2445561]Slowly, a thought forms in your mind. Holding your hands to the sky, one arm slowly moves down and forms a gun.
“BANG!”
Suddenly, a spurt of blood erupts from the truck driver’s chest. He falls forward, blood trailing from his mouth and other select orifices. His dying words: “No one will ever know my name…”
In your deep rabbit wisdom, you reach down and hold the truck driver’s hand.
“I… know your name. Wait. What was it again? Oh, he’s dead.”
It was at this moment you realized that hands can’t fire bullets. The only logical solution: SNIPERS.
Do you…
[/quote]
Ok that my friend was simply brilliant I think you should go into the make your own adventure book buisness
I’m still chuckling at the reference to his “gong fu brothers and sisters”.
[quote=Styygens;2445565]Page 70.
I’m the Wabbit. I know Kung Fu and Judo. Those snipers don’t stand a chance.[/quote]
Quickly donning your cape, your quick rabbit-like legs power towards the nearest tall building. Smashing down the door to the roof, you see a trained killer looking around desperately with his scope.
“Joke’s on you… asshole. KUNG FU KICK!”
The blood that came from the sniper’s gaping neck hole was so tremendous it reminds you of a broken fire hydrant in the summer. However, that nostalgia is quickly replaced with a sense of accomplishment as you see that the head has been crushed into 237 pieces, rather than your usual 235.
Straightening your collar with a sense of accomplishment, a garrote tightens around your neck.
“JUDIE CHOP!”
The ninja’s corpse meant only one thing: There would be more.
Suddenly, hundreds of Otaku appear in their various animu pajamas. You are clearly outnumbered and only have your trusty nunchuks at your side.
Do you…
Fight your way out?
Turn to page 82
Use a limited edition Belldandy figure to distract them long enough to escape?
Turn to page 19
Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2
Don’t try to be witty Rabbit, it’s painful to watch.