A funny thing happened on the way to gong fu training...

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1

In the fine Bullshido tradition of posting overly dramatic bullshidery stories of altercations (real or imagined) potentially involving martial arts, I thought I would share what happened to me on the way to training this past Saturday. It was a great exercise for me in the fine art of avoiding conflict, something that I read once in some Chinese treatise on war was the ultimate way to achieve victory.

Now…I am a very capable driver. I drive a Ford Mustang GT that I named “Black Sunshine” (after the White Zombie song) and her back legs have gotten me away from more than one sticky situation on the road. Like most gamers, I drive with a certain aggressive precision, not carelessly, but also not candyassed either.

Why is this important? Well…while driving to gong fu training in a park this Saturday, I happened to drive through a small parking lot (at a reasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any good, half-awake, caffeine-deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was beginning to back up into a parking space. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed Sunshine and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

As I parked myself, I realized that the truck driver had not only followed me to the park, but parked his truck behind Sunshine, blocking me. As I exited the vehicle, exactly what I expected to happen unfolded…the truck driver was hurling epithets about what an asshole I was, had put his truck in park, and appeared to be ready to start something. Keep in mind I was in my full gong fu uniform, sleeveless T, black pants, and sash, with my gong fu brothers and sisters maybe 50 yards away out of sight.

As I made eye contact with the truck driver I realized I was much bigger and in better shape and my first reaction was to approach the driver and start yelling back, confident that I was not only capable of fighting and winning but also that I had backup nearby in case things went sour.

Instead, I said exactly nothing (not one word) to this man, shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my gym bag, and walked away towards my training group. The man continued to hurl obscenities until I could not hear him any longer, and then he drove back to the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

Why am I posting this? I think I wanted to point out that while we all train to fight here, there are very few situations in life that warrant it, and road rage is the last place for it, imho.

I told my sifu what happened and he said I had done exactly the right thing, so I felt it was a story worth sharing.

Don’t be a :angryfire

2

So you’re a dick behind the wheel.

Gottcha

3

[quote=W. Rabbit;2445421]In the fine Bullshido tradition of posting overly dramatic bullshidery stories of altercations (real or imagined) potentially involving martial arts, I thought I would share what happened to me on the way to training this past Saturday. It was a great exercise for me in the fine art of avoiding conflict, something that I read once in some Chinese treatise on war was the ultimate way to achieve victory.

Now…I am a very capable driver. I drive a Ford Mustang GT that I named “Black Sunshine” (after the White Zombie song) and her back legs have gotten me away from more than one sticky situation on the road. Like most gamers, I drive with a certain aggressive precision, not carelessly, but also not candyassed either.

Why is this important? Well…while driving to gong fu training in a park this Saturday, I happened to drive through a small parking lot (at a reasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any good, half-awake, caffeine-deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was beginning to back up into a parking space. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed Sunshine and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

As I parked myself, I realized that the truck driver had not only followed me to the park, but parked his truck behind Sunshine, blocking me. As I exited the vehicle, exactly what I expected to happen unfolded…the truck driver was hurling epithets about what an asshole I was, had put his truck in park, and appeared to be ready to start something. Keep in mind I was in my full gong fu uniform, sleeveless T, black pants, and sash, with my gong fu brothers and sisters maybe 50 yards away out of sight.

As I made eye contact with the truck driver I realized I was much bigger and in better shape and my first reaction was to approach the driver and start yelling back, confident that I was not only capable of fighting and winning but also that I had backup nearby in case things went sour.

Instead, I said exactly nothing (not one word) to this man, shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my gym bag, and walked away towards my training group. The man continued to hurl obscenities until I could not hear him any longer, and then he drove back to the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

Why am I posting this? I think I wanted to point out that while we all train to fight here, there are very few situations in life that warrant it, and road rage is the last place for it, imho.

I told my sifu what happened and he said I had done exactly the right thing, so I felt it was a story worth sharing.

Don’t be a :angryfire[/quote]

         I'm not seeing to the point of this story.  Nearly everyone has some sort of "road rage" incident.  Only morons willl waste the time, effort, and energy to chase down someone just to shout obsenities.  And yes its far more prudent to avoid engaging with people with poor social skills, time management, and anger control.  This is especially true if you have a job, wife, and children that would be negatively effected by getting charged with assault and battery.
4

You’re from New Jersey, right? That explains it. Slow down, your gong fu isn’t going anywhere.

5

I just saw “drives a Mustang”, got jealous and stopped reading.

6

Then go get one.

7

Well I would make fun of you for driving a mustang but that would be more appropriate on some other boards.
Ford Mustang = CMA(of the automotive world)

8

[quote=hungryjoe;2445424]So you’re a dick behind the wheel.

Gottcha[/quote]

I have to agree with Joe here. You did the right thing to avoid the confrontation, however, if you had just slowed down and taken time to be aware of the situation, then things would have not gone sour. People are over confident about their driving skills, especially in a parking lot.

9

This has nothing to do with martial arts.

At least Alucard’s stories involved some fighting.

10

Assuming the story is accurate, you are wrong. He has no obligation to just wait on an idle truck to see what it is going to do. The truck driver should have checked around him before deciding to reverse. All he did was evade.

11

[quote=W. Rabbit;2445421]In the fine Bullshido tradition of posting overly dramatic bullshidery stories of altercations (real or imagined) potentially involving martial arts, I thought I would share what happened to me on the way to training this past Saturday. It was a great exercise for me in the fine art of avoiding conflict, something that I read once in some Chinese treatise on war was the ultimate way to achieve victory.

Now…I am a very capable driver. I drive a Ford Mustang GT that I named “Black Sunshine” (after the White Zombie song) and her back legs have gotten me away from more than one sticky situation on the road. Like most gamers, I drive with a certain aggressive precision, not carelessly, but also not candyassed either.

Why is this important? Well…while driving to gong fu training in a park this Saturday, I happened to drive through a small parking lot (at a reasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any good, half-awake, caffeine-deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was beginning to back up into a parking space. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed Sunshine and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

As I parked myself, I realized that the truck driver had not only followed me to the park, but parked his truck behind Sunshine, blocking me. As I exited the vehicle, exactly what I expected to happen unfolded…the truck driver was hurling epithets about what an asshole I was, had put his truck in park, and appeared to be ready to start something. Keep in mind I was in my full gong fu uniform, sleeveless T, black pants, and sash, with my gong fu brothers and sisters maybe 50 yards away out of sight.

As I made eye contact with the truck driver I realized I was much bigger and in better shape and my first reaction was to approach the driver and start yelling back, confident that I was not only capable of fighting and winning but also that I had backup nearby in case things went sour.

Instead, I said exactly nothing (not one word) to this man, shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my gym bag, and walked away towards my training group. The man continued to hurl obscenities … following me over the hill.

He proceeded to whip my ass until seven shades of shit came out and then wiped his ass with my sash. My Sifu ran up to help, pleading with the man to show mercy. Show leniency. Without a word the man turned on his heel and backhanded Sifu, causing him to gasp and shrink back, as a child being punished by an angry drunken father.

The man bent over Sifu and ripped his sash from his body, “I’m runnin’ shit now, boys. Anyofyou got a problem with that?” We all sat wordless, unsure of what would come next should any of us make a sound. “Dint think so.” he growled. “Allright, first lesson is quit bein’ a fuggin’ ASSHOLE behind the wheel. Fuckin PARKIN LOTS is for PARKIN and not shortcuts you FAGGOTS. IF YOU AIN’T PARKIN,” he spit as if the very words disgusted him “then you ain’t got no need of bein’ in a FUGGIN’ PARKIN’ LOT.” He looked directly at me with every word, the very accusation of his comments drilled into me like hot lasers. My shamed burned deep.

“NOW,” he looked around disgusted at the very sight of us, “you…FAGGOTS get the fuck outta my park. And YOU,” you pointed into me. Not at me, but into me, “shake yer little ass on over to the fuckin’ store and get me a beer and a pulled-pork sammich soas I can has sumthin’ ta eat while you FUCKING WASH MY TRUCK.”

Let me just say I had never felt a colder beer or hotter sandwich than that day and his truck was immaculate.[/quote]
This thread is now a Choose Your Own Adventure.

12

Hmmm, confident in your driving abilities 'cause you like to game?

I happened to drive through a small parking lot (at a reasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any good, half-awake, caffeine-deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was beginning to back up into a parking space. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed Sunshine and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

Idling? How do you know since you had just come around the bend at a reasonable speed with aggressive precision?, perhaps he was just stopped, shifting into reverse and didn’t the fuck see you since you were passing on the right – until you fished tailed around him?

Honestly, you come on here admitting that you drive like a dick and want some kudos for not continuing to fan the flames of a situation that would result in you getting your ass kicked?

Wow.

13

You… are the Rabbit Kung Fu Master.

Driving through the parking lot on the way to the kwoon in your 1965 black Ford Mustang who you’ve named “Black Sunshine”. Your motor revs as you slow and notice a large truck. The driver’s eyes lock with yours.

Do you…

Jump out of Black Sunshine and challenge the limey bastard for trying to intimidate you?
Turn to page 4

Drive around the truck?
Turn to page 26

Back up, hit the gas pedal, and ram the truck?
Turn to page 16

Or wet yourself?
Turn to page 2

14

[quote=goodlun;2445439]Well I would make fun of you for driving a mustang but that would be more appropriate on some other boards.
Ford Mustang = CMA(of the automotive world)[/quote]

Ford Mustang =/= CMA. More like Ford Mustang = boxing of the automotive world.

15

I’ll have a go at amaturish fiction:

[I]"In the fine Bullshido tradition of telling people about my asinine behavior while fishing for compliments, I thought I would share what happened to me on the way to training this past Saturday. It was a great blow to my self esteem so I’m repackaging it as “the fine art of avoiding conflict”, something that I read once in some Chinese treatise on war was the ultimate way to achieve victory.

Now…I am a very unattentive driver. I drive a Ford Mustang GT that I named “Give me attention” (after feeling unnoticed) and her back legs have gotten me away from more than one sticky situation which I caused on the road. Like most gamers, I think I drive with a certain aggressive precision, not carelessly, but also not candyassed either.

Why am I important? Well…while driving to gong fu training in a park this Saturday, I happened to drive through a small crowded parking lot (at an unreasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any sleep deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was using the parking lot for its intended purpose. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed “Give me attention” and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

As I parked myself, I realized that the truck driver had not only followed me to the park, but parked his truck behind Sunshine, blocking me. As I exited the vehicle, exactly what I expected to happen unfolded…the truck driver was hurling epithets about how I not only almost hit his vehicle but barely missed some lady coming out of a store, had put his truck in park, and appeared to ready to chew me out for my recklessness. Keep in mind I was in my full gong fu uniform, sleeveless T, black pants, and sash, with my gong fu brothers and sisters maybe 50 yards away out of sight.

As I made eye contact with the truck driver I realized I was intimidated and my first reaction was to run since I was afraid of him.

Accordingly, I said exactly nothing (not one word) to this man, shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my gym bag, and walked away towards my training group. The man continued to hurl obscenities … following me over the hill.[/I]

16

Oh god no. Boxing would be giving the Ford Mustang too much credit it probably deserves more than CMA. I will upgrade it to TDK. It can be a lot of fun, it is in itself its own sport, gives you an over inflated sense of what “league” you belong to. Yeah that sounds more like the mustang to me.

17

[quote=W. Rabbit;2445421]In the fine Bullshido tradition of posting overly dramatic bullshidery stories of altercations (real or imagined) potentially involving martial arts, I thought I would share what happened to me on the way to training this past Saturday. It was a great exercise for me in the fine art of avoiding conflict, something that I read once in some Chinese treatise on war was the ultimate way to achieve victory.

Now…I am a very capable driver. I drive a Ford Mustang GT that I named “Black Sunshine” (after the White Zombie song) and her back legs have gotten me away from more than one sticky situation on the road. Like most gamers, I drive with a certain aggressive precision, not carelessly, but also not candyassed either.

Why is this important? Well…while driving to gong fu training in a park this Saturday, I happened to drive through a small parking lot (at a reasonable speed) as a shortcut to the park. As I came around the bend, there was a large contractor 4x4 truck idling in the middle of the parking lot. Like any good, half-awake, caffeine-deprived person I continued forward, and made to go around the right (as opposed to the left) of this vehicle…only realizing a split second too late that this man was beginning to back up into a parking space. Rather than hit the brakes which would definitely have caused an accident, I gassed Sunshine and was able to do a fishtail around this truck’s rear bumper…and then I proceeded on my way out of the parking lot, across the street, and into the park.

As I parked myself, I realized that the truck driver had not only followed me to the park, but parked his truck behind Sunshine, blocking me. As I exited the vehicle, exactly what I expected to happen unfolded…the truck driver was hurling epithets about what an asshole I was, had put his truck in park, and appeared to be ready to start something. Keep in mind I was in my full gong fu uniform, sleeveless T, black pants, and sash, with my gong fu brothers and sisters maybe 50 yards away out of sight.

As I made eye contact with the truck driver I realized I was much bigger and in better shape and my first reaction was to approach the driver and start yelling back, confident that I was not only capable of fighting and winning but also that I had backup nearby in case things went sour.

Instead, I said exactly nothing (not one word) to this man, shrugged my shoulders, grabbed my gym bag, and walked away towards my training group. The man continued to hurl obscenities until I could not hear him any longer, and then he drove back to the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

Why am I posting this? I think I wanted to point out that while we all train to fight here, there are very few situations in life that warrant it, and road rage is the last place for it, imho.

I told my sifu what happened and he said I had done exactly the right thing, so I felt it was a story worth sharing.

Don’t be a :angryfire[/quote]

Wow, man…your parents must have been angry when you used their car and went past your 7:00 curfew.

18

Now something like Boxing I would say lines up well with something like the Starion a very good base but a little bit dated but once you start adding bits on it becomes pretty decent ie you add a little dirty boxing, sprawling, some ground transitions. In the case of the Starion, coil overs, modern fuel system and turbo and you have a damn decent car.

19

So let me get this straight; you come here preaching about how you’re not getting into a fight you’re above it or have too much to lose or whatever, but you’re happy to drive like a cock snap and endanger yours and other people’s lives.

Too bad if there was a kid walking around on the other side of the truck or running out from between some cars. How would ‘Black Sunshine’ look with a six year old girl’s blood splattered all over it?

20

If you had pulled up to a boxing or an mma gym as he was following you he probably wouldn’t have gotten out and talked shit.