Wack ass pick up lines

So, one of the brilliant things about being a bouncer is that the girls have wack ass lines too. I now see why they complain about guys saying dumb shit. The first time someone says it it’s funny. Once you’ve heard the same line several dozen times, it loses it’s appeal.

Here are some classics:

  1. Hey Bouncer, you forgot to search me.

Ladies don’t get searched by the guys. Every night at least three girls think it’s clever to protest this.

  1. You’re coming home with me.

Only used by the drunkest of women, usually on their way out the door. I’m not going home with them, I’m bouncing them.

  1. You’re black and cute. Do you think I’m white and cute?

Wut? This one I only heard once. So bizarre.

  1. I feel I should be talking to you…

Ok…

  1. Hi, it’s me. We met at (insert bullshit). Don’t you remember?

Sure we did.

Now, some lines were kinda dope.

  1. Do you like your job? “Yes.” Watching girls dance?

This one TOTALLY worked. Of course I never saw her again.

  1. I don’t care if he’s gay I’m gonna test it.

This one damn near started a riot as our poor homosexual friend was dragged from the club by his mate. Pretty sure that straightened him right on up, at least for the night.

not trying to necro this thread but fuck it

‘Hey baby want me to scramble your eggs?’

[QUOTE=kimjonghng;2912741]not trying to necro this thread but fuck it

‘Hey baby want me to scramble your eggs?’[/QUOTE]Has that one ever actually worked?

“You don’t sweat much for a fat lass.”

“Wanna bump uglies?”

Hey sweet thing. Can I buy you a fish sandwich?

First thing I ever said to my wife of 10 years: “Damn Girl! What’s all that ass doing on a white girl?”

We were married 4-5 months later.

"Are you a beaver?

Cos’ DDDDAAYMMMM!!!"

I think you have a computer virus, can I check your naughty bits?

If I said you have a nice body…

Would you let me put my penis inside you?

[QUOTE=Tramirezmma;2913061]If I said you have a nice body…

Would you let me put my penis inside you?[/QUOTE]

L O L. I could see that working.

“Get in the fucking trunk.”

I only use this one when I have my elephant on me, though.

My doctorate thesis deals with developing a language and methodology to objectively describe physical sensations associated with coitus, and similar or related interactions.

this thread is terrible and i assume it’s the reason villian got the banhammer.