How did a woman start such an awesome dynasty?
Technically not possible - biologically all the world’s population and every lineage must have started with a man, providing the sperm for the woman. Your female ancestor lied about the father to protect you:
In reality, the the male progenitor of Spasticus could only have been a desperate, blind and rabid dingo. Bet you piss on the pines and shit on the sidewalk, doggy style.
This just fucking shows how much an attention whoring bastard anal_spazwank really is.
He shits up a thread shitting on another retard… Truely unreal.
He craves the attention,
as soon as the thread where we were abusing him for crying about his infermity grew cold,
he had to run right out and crap up another thread to bring more heat on himself.
He is a pathological attention whore.:bduh:
INTERLUDE:
I’d like my 2 minutes back please
:5sigh: Sign hynar, hynar annnnnnnd… hynar.
speaking of which, have tried to get a refund on all those years of Aikido yet?
:icon_joke
:eusa_clap funny fucker… You do kata, yes ?
Nope. I do Tai Chi forms though. But only for self defence.
lol… riiiiight… :new_shock
We do kata in Aikido.
I do origami to deal with paper tigers and feng shui so I can call on the dragon gods to help me face the right way.
My enemies are confused as I bombard them with paper cranes from behind my shoji.
Does that count?
Yes, it does. We Aikidoka have a saying: “Does it work? Then shut the fuck up bitch…”
Ah, so tell me then: are you a ‘twirley shirley’ or a ‘smack em and crack em’ kind of wrist-grabber?
Did anyone else think of the MP&HG opening credits earlier?
“A Moose once bit my sister.”
PS: Wow. After a month-and-a-half of WC/VT/WT, it looks like Aikido is making a comeback on the board. I am eagerly awaiting the next flood of useless Syrian Aikido flamewars, “reality” wrist grabbing, fluffy Ki Society vs. Yoshinkan vs. Shodokan “Who Has The Real!” gameshow posts, and “O-Sensei didn’t really mean it was for peace” arguments with bad explanations of how deadly wrist grabbing can be.
Ah, but if I grab your wrist I can instantly detect your Ki pulse and hurl you to the floor with my pointy finger. LOL
In fact, we are so tough that MY sister bit a moose (or mouse, can’t remember!)
Let’s see now, Tohei was an OK martial artist, got pissed and fell downstairs, injured his back and thought ‘shit, I can’t train any more. I know, I’ll invent a style that involves no physical effort and wrap it up in psychobabble for gullible Westerners’. Job done.
Meanwhile, Gozo Shioda found out that he was really a tiny little guy who Westerners could keep at bay with one arm. So he invented a style which allowed him to jump in the air, smack em in the face and THEN execute fatal hand-holding jiyuwaza.
Conclusion: both extremes of Aikido suck with Westerners, and so does everything in between, so let’s all invent our OWN style. That way, I can do MY Aikido, the Syrians can do theirs and as long as we never meet, we can all fleece the cannon-fodder.
Now MY style is infallible: ‘ENGLISH AIKIDO’ has been specifically designed for our island inbreeds:
Shodan Grading Syllabus:
Whilst pissed up on a minimum of 10 pints of Newcastle Brown (essential heritage reference), take on a bouncer of at least 15 stone and achieve the following:
Verbal abuse, including parentage and sexual references, in excess of 2 minutes
Puking on his shoes
Receiving said shoes and feet in the face without bleeding
Bouncing down a minimum of five steps and clearing the last with flashy ukemi into a wall
Regaining a standing position and launching a new attack
Engaging him in shomen-tsuki jiyuwaza using the face to block atemi aimed at the hand
After at least 5 minutes of random larping, the candidate must make a speech about ‘Ki’ and why he was unable to use it because he was attacked ‘all wrong’ by an amateur.
This must be so convincing at least one judge must cry empathetically.
Finally, meet attacks from two other pissed Aikidoka as armed attacks with the empty Newcastle Brown bottles, broken or intact.
Criteria:
Any cuts and effusive bleeding will result in an immediate FAIL.
However, bruising and fractures of any limb and/or the skull shall not negate a claim of using mystical powers, plus awesome timing, distance and balance in the grading.
Hakama need not be worn, as this may encourage homophobia in said bouncer, thus confusing motivation to crush the Aikidoka’s skull.
Works for me!
Of course this pearl or wisdom comes from someone who learned Chinese Boxing from a Chinese gay.
I propose a series of new ‘tards’ to update us with cretinous posts:
SPASTARD = self explanatory - Angry Spastic is a category in himself
CHITARD = anyone who claims mystic powers
NEWTARD= any newbie who thinks he/she knows it all
SCHIZOTARD= any existing member who tries to pose as a new member but is exposed by his address!
Chinese Boxing is the official translation of Shorinji Kempo - please tell me this idiot has another MA as his core art!
it was a doe, so it answers both of your questions:
yes, your boyfriend is still safe for you to rut with
yes, it makes Tortelli’s brother almost as pathetic as he
So you translated CHINESE boxing into Japanese. I’m very proud of you.
indeed shorin = shaolin