Stupid things you used to believe about martial arts

Classic Forums Old School: Bullshido Classics and Mega Threads
1

Many of the members here on Bullshido are people who were “saved” from their old attitudes and/or styles. It might be fun to share all the delusions we once held as children raised on the power rangers and Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.

I’ll start it off; after I’d taken kickboxing for a while, I would wonder how I would do against a judoka or a grappler. At the time, I thought “Their training is so unrealistic - if they bear hug me, I’ll just keep elbowing them to the face! And the bear hug is their best move, for crying out loud! Muay Thai for the win.”

I also believed that a martial artist ought to work on physical strength AND Ki strength, and that I’d have to get around to all that meditation and stuff some time if I wanted to be successful.

I also believed that flying kicks were woefully underused in competitions because OMG they are so powerfulll!!!1

I also believed that kickboxing was one of the worst martial arts around, and that karate, Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, and RBSD were far more dangerous styles to know. Then I met some people who did these various styles and saw what it actually looked like…

I thought boxing was a pointless skill to pick up since I could just feint a couple of jabs and then sidekick to the lead knee for an instant win.

I thought that just shadowboxing and hitting ht heavy bags would give me all the muscles I needed to be a good fighter.

I thought that groundfighting was fundamentally (and irreperably) unrealistic because their training doesn’t include strikes.

All I can say is thank GOD I got a look at K-1 and MMA competitions. I saw what was happening to people who didn’t know how to grapple properly and my eyes were opened.

I also got over my “Durr, kickboxing is so WESTERN it can’t be no good, durr” attitude when I actually saw some Karateka (probably shotokan) hitting the heavy bags with their “head - chest - groin” three-punch combo and the bag didn’t even buckle or move…

So let’s have some stories from those of us who used to think an aikidoka could catch a jab, or that a good counter to a “reverse punch” was to drop to the ground and mule kick, etc.

2

Ninjutsu was so deadly it was illegial is most countries. My College Freshman Wrestler roommate told me this. He knew more then me so i believed him.

3

Oh yeah, Ninjutsu! I forgot, I used to think that Ninjutsu was the best fighting art around… until I read in “A Bouncer’s Guide to Barroom Brawling” by PALADIN PRESS that “Most people studying ninjutsu today are living in a fantasy world.”

When a Paladin Press writer accuses you of living in a fantasy world, that’s a bad sign.

The same book also held that Judo was great, except all those “submissions”, because if those techniques are really intended to break bones etc, they can never really be tested and ought not to be relied upon :wink:

For context, the author of that book was a little white guy with the karate 'stache and Mister Magoo glasses who looked like the guy always picked last for dodgeball, and the book was primarily full of self-aggrandizing stories pulled from an action movie and told in as masturbatory a fashion as possible. One of “those” self-defense books.

4

One of my all time favorites: When you get Black Belt you have to register your hands.

5

Grappling is teh ghey

6

i used to believe that it would be simple to drop any sized opponent with a good strong kick to the knee.

yeah. i’m so glad i never tried that.

7

I believed that the reason I was getting taken to the ground is because I wasn’t training my kicks and punches hard enough.

8

I used to beleive that it was physically possible to side kick a 200 lb plus person hard enough to send them flying 6 feet back like in so many movies.

I used to beleive that all female martial artists were naturally faster and had stronger leg strength than males.

I used to beleive that all those step by step combo diagrams in BB magazine would work because an oppenent would too stunned after the first strike to defend himself.

I used to read BB magazine.

I used to beleive that ninjas were able to land on their feet from 100 foot drops with no problem.

And last but not least:

I used to beleive, with enough training and meditating, that it would be possible to throw a fireball, generate fire from one’s fist/leg, and a bunch of other shit I saw characters from Street Fighter do.

9

I’ll share my own in a bit, but this reminds me of when I de-bullshidofied a “friend” of mine who thought this.

We were both taking my universities Aikido class (she was taking it for “serious self defense”, I was taking it to help with my flexibility) and we had just finished a class on punch defense. It was the typical zombie reverse punch from 100 feet away. We were talking about the class and I was saying “Yeah, the class is fun, but none of this stuff works. Those punches are so stupid. A boxer doesn’t punch like that. He’s fast and retracts the blow.” She said “Well, I could just catch the jab, and then apply the technique.” That was a challenge. With my 1 year of boxing under my belt, I told her to stand ready to defend a punch. I told her exactly where I was gonna punch, with what hand, and that I would tell her when, and all she had to do was catch it, nothing else. With all of this preparation, I said “Go”, punched her square in the hand, and retracted before she even knew what happened.

I then said “So…you knew when, where, and how I was going to punch, but you couldn’t even catch it, let alone use the technique on me. But somehow…you’ll make it work when it counts?”

My story? I studied TKD…'nuff said.

10

I used to believe that all Kung fu was some serious ass-kicking shit.

Back in high school, I sincerely believed that a teenaged krotty black belt I knew would kick my ass, despite me being a state ranked wrestler. I publicly backed down from fighting this asshole twice because my friends warned that he would destroy me.

Later on, when I caught him trying to date-rape one of my friends, his krotty didn’t save him.

11

I thought that grappeling was pointless, I now know better.

12

Ninjitsu is the d3ad1y
Through meditation one could project their Chi in combat
TKD, Karate, Kung Fu was badass
Boxing and Grappling of any kind was worthless in a real fight.

Then I started training with a pro boxer/kickboxer who handed me my ass everyday, and who after seeing the 1st UFC, the first thing out of his mouth about Gracie was, “that guy’s dangerous”. After that I saw the value of crosstraining and realized how many of my previous ideas were completely flawed.

13

Yep the stupid hand registry B.S. ( I still hear ppl say that nonsense)
I have always known grappling is a great form for fighting, never really got the chance to take it(I really want to now). I did a little Judo many many yrs ago (didn’t get past white belt).Boxing has helped me win several fights, I have had in the past. I do like Uechi for its stand up fighting, and conditioning, but I know, I also need a good ground game as well. I used to think Ninjitsu w/e was badass, I wanted the Black Pajama’s. Van Damme, I alway’s thought he was an idiot, and Steven Suckgall…always hated that prick. I liked Chuck though, and the Bruce. Now I enjoy “Kung Pow” enter the fist…now thats realistic!

14

Along with believing all the crap kids do about kung fu and karate being the ultimate, in HS we had a 10 year karate (don’t know what type) BB come from Japan. He had three of us come up and try to attack him. We had no idea wtf we were doing so we weren’t exactly going 100% but I was still impressed by how easily he manipualted us. He “threw” (irish whipped) my 250lb friend toward me and that scared the shit out of me.

Later my friend told me that in another session this kid tried to fight him alone. He was brazillian (-american) and did Brazillian Jiu Jitsu (for like 6 months) and I think he didn’t “win,” but I can’t remember what I was actually told. I do remember that my response was something like, “Pfft. Of course he didn’t win, how could Brazillian wahtever beat Karate? He’s just taking that because it’s part of his culture.” Oh the irony. It really sucks to think that if I rolled with him even at his skill level then, he’d probably whipe the floor with me too.

15

Back in High School while I was training in TKD as well as teaching it, I used to strut around everywhere like my shit don’t stink. Man, I used to think I was sooooo deadly and I pitied the soul who would want to start something with me because I thought I’d probably kill them.

Part of our High School gym curriculum was a semester of Western Wrestling, and whenever they would just do some free rolling around, I’d never participate. Why? I was afraid for the safety of my partner :x. Yeah, TKD will put this type of bullshit in your head.

Oh, also, I believed that point sparring required inherently more skill and translated BETTER into a real world situation than FULL CONTACT SPARRING! After all, I was always taught that if you can quickly tap the top of your big toe to someone’s head, it AUTOMATICALLY meant that you can just as easily go full force and knock them out. Oi.

And don’t even get me started on grappling… I had so many anti-grapples it wasn’t even funny… of course, none of them worked because I still needed to “train my techniques better”… even after 9 years of doing them.

16

i used to think aikido was useable in a fight, somehow.

although luckily i never believed it was useable by me in a fight…

i at least thought that certain aikido throws were workable, and that i might be able to toss someone with an irimi-nage or drop them on their head with a shiho-nage or something…

i found out this was not the case.

then i learned osoto gari, and now i can drop people on their head for real!!

17

Steven Segal is a badass fighter unitl about 7yrs ago.

Aikido is a deadly fighting style 7yrs ago.

Grappling is stupid ie. why doesn’t that guy one the bottom punching the other guy?Probably until the 3rd UFC. Then I stopped watching because it was boring.

Bruce Lee was the best fighter ever. About 5 yrs ago.

You could catch a bullet in the mouth ie.The Last Dragon - Bruce Leroy.Problably until I was 13 or something.

18

I used to think that TKD would be a useful thing to take because I could do flying kicks (thank fuck I never took TKD…). I thought that having the biggest biceps in the room would make me better at muay thai. I thought all dojos were the same, and that a black belt was proof of genuine skill.

19

I actually had to explain to a friend of mine about 3 weeks ago how wrong he was in thinking that Steven Segal was a badass.

20

Bujinkan doesn’t suck

Hatsumi isn’t a fake

Judo is watered down JJJ and less effective for t3h str33t

UFC fighters leave themselves open to teh deadly skin grab and eye gouge

If we sparred in bujinkan we would kill each other

Dirty tricks are the anti-grapple

If you go back far enough I used to believe that all martial arts could be used in a real fight.