So i was holding my poo all day during class and I realized that i would have to face the dreadful fate of taking a poo in a public restroom (oh noes!) so after class let out i immediately proceeded to the restroom.
As I rip my pants down I heard the loud creaking echo of the heavy wooden bathroom door opening.
two trouble-making gentlemen began to loudly complain about the smell and they knocked on my stall and said “yo nigga stop that shit” and the other guy goes “ya man, literally dawg”.
I was at a loss for words, If i were to say something derogatory, they would have beat my ass at mid-pinch. As I sat there thinking of something clever to say and at the same time thinking how I would defend myself, i muttered, “sorry guys, I’m almost done”
my ears burned not with embarrassment, but with desire to throw large quantaties of poo at them.
There are two ways in wich you bother me with this post.
you wanted to see a video of me taking a poo?
you are calling my post fiction.
Every one poos in public at one time or another and you never know when someone is gonna barge in and try to kick your ass. I’m just trying to have a breathe of fresh air amongst all of the Lesnar threads.
This kinda reminds me of a story in an American Splendor comic where a couple of burglars break into Harvey Pekar’s house while he’s taking a crap… I don’t remember which issue though.
A guy I work with told me when he spent the weekend in LA county jail, two inmates waited until he sat on the crapper, then jumped him. While he had his pants around his ankles, one went through his pockets while the other pummeled him.
So always poop with one leg out your pants, kids, or you’ll get poop on yourself while ese’s beat you silly. Poop, ese, poop.
I have a fear of public shitting and masturbation too. I approve of your story, even if it is fiction. Also, next time you come into the toilet (for a shit or a wank) carry a gun. When you hear the door opening, fire a couple of shots into the air to scare away your tormentors.
To the original poster. Whenever you try to get tough guys to leave you alone, pretend your mentally retarded. Mumble something incoherent about meat loaf and ask them if they want to come to your house after school to eat cupcakes with grandma next time.
I actually met a guy in a correctional facility who claimed that whenever some tough guys bother him he pretends to be severely handicap. Can’t verify if its true, but its excellent self defense. Who in their right mind would hit a severely handicapped person? Exactly…