Seńor Lowtax and crew over at SomethingAwful have whipped up a Flash Tub featuring the infamous “Top Secret Training” website, read directly from the text on the page in question. If you’ve been to a single Martial Arts-related website on the Internet, you’ve probably seen the ads for these guys. Hell, they’ve even run here (STFU, they pay the bills and we get entertainment brought to our “doorstep”.)
–Phrost
Original poster’s comments follow:
Here we go, I’m fairly sure this hasn’t been posted yet. And no, it’s not that martial arts blooper video. Its a flash movie based on topsecrettraining.com, which I’m sure many of us are familiar with. It really highlights the absurdity and bullshidoness of it all.
I’m convinced that there’s just one person or group that does all these sites. They are all so identical. A long, long page (instead of being divided into smaller pages with a navigation menu as is the case with almost every site these days) that repeats the same points over and over again with some made up background story, the fake testimonials, the overral style, etc.
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no they imitate each other based on what has been proven to work marketing wise. Outrageous claim at the top, lots and lots of text to suck you in , some testimonials, and by the end they’re pitching the product. It’s old school copy writing technique.
Yup, definitely a “marketroid” thing. Tried and true infomercial-like sales technique - very simple to get basics of, used by zillions of people pushing for more and more products, both questionable and (rarely) not so questionable. I’ve seen it used to sell quite a lot of things, definitely not unique to this, er, genre. People who try to push the not-so-questionable things generally afford better markething though.
Some guy, in black and white*, droning self-evident truths and referring to the Source Material a lot. (Says on the page that the DVDs refer to the four books a lot.)
And probably in the end (and by “end” I mean 25% of the entire content), “So now you’re a certified, leet martial artist - I bet you’re begging to know how to start your own martial arts video sales business”. =)
Actually I’m just guessing. Could be right though.
I guess he only has an NTSC version up, so non-US viewers are probably not getting colors. But I guess the DVDs are Region 1, so you need a hax0red DVD player to play them outside USA. Why? Oh, the valiant Lieutenant X can easily live with CIA breathing in their neck… but MPAA too? That would be a nightmare that makes everyone weep, he can’t possibly risk their wrath.
That actually sounds like it could be pretty accurate… =P And maybe the same guy in black and white showing some groin kicks and eye pokes? x)
Or the other option is that they just send you a bag of 5 year old potatoes with a note that tell’s you how big of an idiot you are for buying such stuff. =P
WWWolf:Aha,i guess this is something of a Piramidal business-scam … you know, " you can sell this too - buy it from us with a special discount for daisy-coloured belts martial artist,that you have became in 5.6 seconds with this video"
Ashida Kim is way less sofisticated that that… is he still alive ?
