It truly does.
I was that hot little brunette waitress.
Your flirting is weak.
nice try but you’re bald
in the crotchal region.
Come out tonight,
I’ll firt with you better 
That’s a lovely invitation.
Hold on, let me just ask my wife if she minds.
By choice.
Normally I look like Jesus.
Except more handsome, and without the whole ‘LOVE ME PLEASE, LOVE ME LOVE ME, OR I’LL SEND YOU TO HELL’ thing.
Invite her along. It’ll be more fun
Wait.
Is this about collaborating on a paper together?
I hope you don’t want first authorship.
Lol, why would i write a paper??
Oh, right uni and all that. Yeah, um…
So Sushi, hows it goin?
my wife and i are going to a movie tonight, and maybe even do a little bowling.
damn, i’m a stone cold pimp.
Ooh, a few nights ago I talked to a girl… and we even made EYE CONTACT.
OMG.
Is she a MILF?
I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
I get nervous around girls.
You think your love life is an abortion? Walk a mile in my shoes, it’s like living through the Black Plague, the Hindenburg, the Battle of the Bulge, and the sinking of the Titanic all at once. As an example:
I was taking a girl to see Spider Man 3. As we drove to the theatre, she spoke at length about how much she loved Europe and wanted to travel to Italy some day while I said “Uh-huh” at the appropriate moments and calculated my chances of nailing her after the show was over. Suddenly I realize that she has stopped talking and that she was looking at me expectantly. Oh shit, she wants me to Share One of My Dreams With Her. I ran over several options
Dream #1.Nail Eliza Dushku (No! Not That one!)
Dream #2.Find out if they have fluffers for women, and get a job doing that (No! Even Worse!)
Then I remembered Dream #3. So with this lovely conniseur of Italian culture and European style looking expectantly at me, I blurt out
“I’m saving money so when I get out of school I can go train at the Chute Box Muay Thai Academy in Brazil! It’s a school for fighters!”
Chances of getting some after the show after saying this: Somewhere between ice skating in hell and discovering secret of antigravity
That sucks for you man. I’m surprised, though, girls I know tend to be intrigued by martial arts, if only because they know nothing about them.
Oh, and Sushi you really have to be a faggot to not find the Conchords funny.
Stop- right there. SM3!!! At least TAKE HER TO SOMETHING FUNNY… Fuck people, you need to be able to talk about it afterwards not just go ‘oh that was good’ yeah, i enjoyed it to’…
As we drove to the theatre, she spoke at length about how much she loved Europe and wanted to travel to Italy some day while I said “Uh-huh” at the appropriate moments and calculated my chances of nailing her after the show was over.
Should be calculated during the show, then when you dont have an answer you can say ‘shit did you see that?’ and point at screen
Suddenly I realize that she has stopped talking and that she was looking at me expectantly. Oh shit, she wants me to Share One of My Dreams With Her. I ran over several options
Dream #1.Nail Eliza Dushku (No! Not That one!)
Dream #2.Find out if they have fluffers for women, and get a job doing that (No! Even Worse!)
Then I remembered Dream #3. So with this lovely conniseur of Italian culture and European style looking expectantly at me, I blurt out
“I’m saving money so when I get out of school I can go train at the Chute Box Muay Thai Academy in Brazil! It’s a school for fighters!”
Chances of getting some after the show after saying this: Somewhere between ice skating in hell and discovering secret of antigravity
Lol, I think you summed up there well
Plz, carry on
Watch out if they add some little black kid to the cast. You’ll probably be canceled in a season!
points
this is double points. only marginally below twins.