Most Important Secret Opelative Tips

First off let me say most preased to be honourable member of this forum and I looking forward to many most enrightening conversations with titans on this mount Olympus of world crass fighters and martial arts speciarist. For gentlemen:Among the world as Mister Han say, baby, we are the best.

OK tip number one. When working in dark area carrying snake in black bag always remember to keep black bag knot firmly tight otherwise snake may crawl out and bite you too. So remember be carefur.

Tip number 2. Shared bodily warmth in extreme cold weather conditions is most pleasant when working with femare operative. Keep therefore cell phone handy in case emergency so she can come rocate you.

Tip number 3. If cover is blown always remember to run like hell.

Tip number 4. If you see the bomb removing specialist running like hell try to keep up with him also.

Tip number 5. Never let them see you sweat, therefore always wear extra deodorant and carry an extra Depends in snake bag (item number 1 above) and also always use Hai Karate aftershave so in case you sweat they never smell it. This most important when on long range recon patrol type mission.

Tip number 6. Cover is everything so therefore if in doubt drop down into number one dojo stance and show them 10 right and then 10 left knife hand chops most forcefully.

Tip numbel seven. Always have a way out. Therefore never forget carry extra equipment. Wig, moustache, fedora hat can be carried in false bottom briefcase (remember to turn the handles properly when opening).

Tip number 8. Never order red wine with fish. This is always a giveaway to low level Spectre type agent. Upon detection draw PPK immediately and shoot strategically centre of mass 2 times.

:car21:

Hmm, I say 50 posts, max

Unfortunately I haven’t seen Omega ‘welcome’ a newbie for quite some time. I guess he probably wouldn’t waste time on a troll.

Thank you, Bond, for wasting a minute of my life that I will never get back, and making me waste another replying to this stupid thread.

It was ok up until #4, then thing got dull.

it wasn’t OK pass the first half of the first sentence… and unless he is embraced at the greatest new gimmick he won’t last past 20 posts.

yuo = fag0t

Yeah, what GraveDigger said.

We already have genuinely funny posters, thank you. The humour factor of an ‘amusing’ post is inversely proportional to the amount of effort expended trying to make it funny. Remember that, young man.

Somebody tell him to “STFU n00b”, because I don’t want to be that person.

Now give us some shit back to show you have a pair.

Oh, hello, I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d stop by to say hello. I must say tkdan that’s a nice pair you are wearing there, do you find your atavistic shakti aggression unrequitted here due to the lack of conversation above the level of a 500 word vocabulary? I would were I you. Or is it perhaps just because you have **** never made love to a real man?

I’d like mine shaken, not stirred if you please. Just like I would you tkdan in that sweet little nothing you are almost wearing there…

BondJamesBond

hmm, post count stuck at 1… the content AI is working well I see.

What is amusing are those inherently insecure people who equate usage of a thesaurus with brilliance. We’ve had a couple of those around here before… they didn’t last long either.

Again, not funny. JAMES BOND IS NOT FUNNY (apart from the giant heads cheat in Goldeneye).

Get a new gimmick or get thrown into a pool full of sharks with ‘lasers’ on their heads.