Hi Guys
This is my first post after recently finding this awesome forum and I felt the need to post this and get it of my chest. So I met a girl recently at a Japanese Language class at University and over time got to know her a bit and eventually became friends. One day she came in to class wearing a fancy University Jiu jitsu hoody and during the break I asked her about it and got talking about the Jiu Jitsu class. Now this girl is half Japanese half Brazilian so I assumed it was a BJJ class but she told me its Japanese Jiu Jitsu and that she had never even heard of BJJ. I asked her about the kind of things they do in the class and it quickly became apparent that it was total Bullshido. When I asked her about why she started it ( 2 years ago) she said it was because she was along way from home and wanted to know how to defend herself. Later that evening I googled the University class and found some videos and its total bullshido cult stuff. Idiots throwing themselves around (breakfalling) and swinging plastic knives and foam baseball bats ect. The instructors dress up in traditional Japanese gear and most of the class seem to be either overweight, female or have some form of learning difficulty. How do I break this girl out of the cult without seeming like I am ruining her achievements or do I even bother plus she has asked me to go with her to the class as a sort of date and now I dont know what to do.
I hear there this crazy app called tender, its not a bad way too…Oh you think your going to get with THIS girl…um…good luck!
Yeah I really like her and we have a lot in common and it would be nice to share the same sort of interests. I am not into dating apps. Its just that she has dedicated a lot of time and passion into some fraud cult stuff. I can post some video links if you fancy a laugh.I know I did.
(moved from MABS)
TommyUK - you clearly know nothing about women or martial arts. That is not an insult, but an invitation for you to learn.
Give up the notion right now that the girl you have the hots for is going to respect you for telling her that her beliefs and hobbies are bullshit. That conversation won’t last more than 60 seconds. Plus, if she’s actually doing JJJ and you aren’t even clued in enough to recognize the difference between JJJ and BJJ, then I guarantee she can kick your arse back and forth across the Thames all day long. So, don’t lead with your disdain for a martial art you don’t even know. Get thee to a gym, start training. And, good luck. Please update us with milestones on your journey.
Get her to try Brazilian Jiujitsu.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985189]Yeah I really like her and we have a lot in common and it would be nice to share the same sort of interests. I am not into dating apps. Its just that she has dedicated a lot of time and passion into some fraud cult stuff. I can post some video links if you fancy a laugh.I know I did.[/QUOTE]
Oh crap this is MABS, this isn’t a MABS worthy topic…but till get moved to YMAS or where ever else it ends up I guess I will actually answer your question:
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]Hi Guys [/QUOTE]
Hi!
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
So I met a girl recently at a Japanese Language class at University and over time got to know her a bit and eventually became friends.
[/QUOTE]
Is it recently or is it over time? Come on keep your story straight, you couldn’t have meet her recently and gotten to know her over time, those two things are mutually exclusive.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
One day she came in to class wearing a fancy University Jiu jitsu hoody and during the break I asked her about it and got talking about the Jiu Jitsu class.
[/QUOTE]
As in JJJ that is taught at a university?
This part is actually important.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
Now this girl is half Japanese half Brazilian
[/QUOTE]
Seriously not relevant though its probably WHY you like her.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
so I assumed it was a BJJ class but she told me its Japanese Jiu Jitsu
[/QUOTE]
Oh the horror!
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
I asked her about the kind of things they do in the class and it quickly became apparent that it was total Bullshido.
[/QUOTE]
This seems like a good time to ask you what your expertise in Martial arts is and how you have gone about making this assumption or any for that matter…
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
When I asked her about why she started it ( 2 years ago)
[/QUOTE]
Did you ask her 2 years ago or did she start it 2 years ago…???
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
cult stuff.
[/QUOTE]
Thats a pretty big accusation there, given none of the stuff that follows is “cult stuff” sure maybe bullshido but hey.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985186]
How do I break this girl out of the cult without seeming like I am ruining her achievements or do I even bother plus she has asked me to go with her to the class as a sort of date and now I dont know what to do.[/QUOTE]
LOL achievement? Doing something for 2 years is an achievement?
But the truth is fuck off, what sort of authority figure are you to tell her what she is doing is anything?
I say if you like the girl go to the fucking class and accept its a part of who she is.
[QUOTE=Permalost;2985193]Get her to get a Brazilian.[/QUOTE]
fixed
[QUOTE=Permalost;2985193]Get her to try Brazilian Jiujitsu.[/QUOTE]
I mean sure if he is doing BJJ then he could agree to go to a class with Her if she agrees to go to a class with him (hey this idea is almost like how good relationships work…)
No it was her that didnt know the difference between BJJ and JJJ. I dont have a disdain for JJJ infact I am quite interested in it.
I met her 6 months ago so pretty recently and over 6 months of casually getting to know her I found out about the JJJ class. Yes the hoody was sold at the University JJJ class.I am not an expert in any sport. I have done boxing,kickboxing and BJJ.She has been doing the class for 2 years.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985197]No it was her that didnt know the difference between BJJ and JJJ. I dont have a disdain for JJJ infact I am quite interested in it.[/QUOTE]
I’m calling BS on this. JJIF is the primary Jiu Jitsu governing body in Europe(including the UK). It governs both JJJ and BJJ competition and at a lot of the local qualifiers both are competing on the same mats. There is no way a person has done one for two years and doesn’t know the existence of the other or differences between them.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985199]I met her 6 months ago so pretty recently and over 6 months of casually getting to know her I found out about the JJJ class. Yes the hoody was sold at the University JJJ class.I am not an expert in any sport. I have done boxing,kickboxing and BJJ.She has been doing the class for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
So over the course of 6 months it didn’t come up that she does JJJ until you saw her waring a Hoody, yeah that sounds like a REAL cult to me.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985199]I met her 6 months ago so pretty recently and over 6 months of casually getting to know her I found out about the JJJ class. Yes the hoody was sold at the University JJJ class.I am not an expert in any sport. I have done boxing,kickboxing and BJJ.She has been doing the class for 2 years.[/QUOTE]
Six months is way too long to still be warming up, unless you have some religious obligations.
What are your goals, here, short term and long term?
[QUOTE=Michael Tzadok;2985202]It governs both JJJ and BJJ competition and at a lot of the local qualifiers both are competing on the same mats. There is no way a person has done one for two years and doesn’t know the existence of the other or differences between them.[/QUOTE]
Well to be fair, her school could not compete
[QUOTE=submessenger;2985204]
What are your goals, here, short term and long term?[/QUOTE]
Droll over the exotic hottie till he can win her with some grand gesture such as saving her from a CULT!
[QUOTE=goodlun;2985207]Droll over the exotic hottie till he can win her with some grand gesture such as saving her from a CULT![/QUOTE]
There are books to be written, here, but I want to see how this plays out, mainly because I can’t find anything [strike]good[/strike] immediately interesting on Netflix that I haven’t already watched.
Yes six months is way too long to not make a move I know. My goal would be long term otherwise I wouldn’t really care about the stupid JJJ class I just cringe everytime she mentions it. Everything she mentions about it raises red flags to almost cult like levels.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985211]Yes six months is way too long to not make a move I know. My goal would be long term otherwise I wouldn’t really care about the stupid JJJ class I just cringe everytime she mentions it. Everything she mentions about it raises red flags to almost cult like levels.[/QUOTE]
I know your young, cause you think 2 years is a long time to be involved in something so I am going to give you some sage wisdom.
Women know with in the first 6 minutes if the want your dick in them.
If in 6 months you haven’t gotten there, your not going to.
Her invite to the JJJ thing, well it wasn’t a “date sort of thing”
Move on.
Also seriously she can’t be talking about it that much unless you bring it up based on other shit said already.
[QUOTE=goodlun;2985206]Well to be fair, neither her nor her school probably exist.[/QUOTE]
Fixed.
[QUOTE=TommyUK;2985211]Yes six months is way too long to not make a move I know. My goal would be long term otherwise I wouldn’t really care about the stupid JJJ class I just cringe everytime she mentions it. Everything she mentions about it raises red flags to almost cult like levels.[/QUOTE]
Any sort of groupthink seems cultish to an outsider, and that’s OK. It’s important to realize that you are an outsider, though. If you approach this girl with the word “cult,” you have lost the chances you never even had. This is reality, not making fun of you. Generally speaking, I’m a freaking dork of a dude, have been for most of my life. Your current situation is a lost cause, you need to move on.
Goodlun and I have already opined that you’re never getting into this girl’s pants, but I’m stating it here, bluntly, in case any subtext was missed.
You are clearly young - probably frosh at uni, and you’re maybe there ahead of your temporal peers. The single most important thing you need, right now, is self confidence. You will probably get that by training. BJJ or boxing or Judo or SAMBO or any alive martial art is a great place to gain self confidence. So go, do that. A lot. Some public speaking lessons wouldn’t hurt, either - I don’t know if there are Toastmasters in the UK, but that would be a place to start.
You’re not training now, because you mentioned it in the past tense. So, fuck it, go to the JJJ class with chicka, but don’t think for a second that she’s going to bed with you until you sort your internal issues out. Long term is out of the question, with this one. It will be a learning experience for you, so take notes.