Right, we have been having a bit of a problem lately. My Cat, Eric, has been getting bullied by this big ginger Tom cat that comes into our garden. The ginger Tom is owned by an elderly lady called Mrs Green who lives next door but one.
Anyway, we put up with it for quite some time and I have been training Eric to fight back. However, last night he came back in with a large chunk bitten out of his left ear. I knew that Mrs Green’s ginger Tom had been responsible yet again, and so I decided enough was enough. It’s time to fight back.
I went to my bedroom and picked one of my air rifles from my collection. I chose a large left handed .22 rifle with a scope. I then put on an all black combat uniform and baloclava … like the SAS. After that, I strapped a kinfe to my belt threw the rifle round my shoulder and crept out into the garden, ready for battle.
I headed for Mrs Green’s house through the hedges that run along the back of the houses. Upon entering Mrs Green’s Garden with stealth I found my sniper spot far back from the house but positioned so I had a clear shot at the back door. I waited all night, hidden in the bushes at the end of Mrs Green’s garden … no cat came. She must keep him in all night I assumed.
Morning came and I was ready for action. Poised and ready to strike like a Cobra about to deliver the killer blow. At about 9.00 AM I heard the handle of the back door turn. Mrs Green was opening the door to let the cat out. I quickly cocked the rifle and took careful aim. The cat ran out of the door and I quickly fired my rifle. Disaster. I missed the cat by miles and accidently shot Mrs Green in the groin.
“oh fuk” I said, “what the fuking fuk have i fuking gone and done?”. I leapt out of hiding and hurried towards Mrs Green who was lieing on the ground screaming in agony. It looked like she had also broke her wrist from the fall aswell. As I aproached her she began screaming at me and shouting that she was going to phone the police and that I had killed her. I started really panicking at this point because she sounded like she was dieing. I wanted to stop her shouting at me so for some reason I bashed her hard over the head with the butt of the rifle. Silence. I had knocked her out.
Next, I really started sh1tting it. I ran into her house and grabbed some electricians tape and taped her hands and feet together and taped her mouth shut. I dragged her into her house and shoved her in the pantry. Then I ran home.
I’ve spent the rest of the day wondering what to do. She’s still tied up in her pantry with a pellet in her groin, a broken wrist and a big gash in her head where I smacked her with the rifle. I’m a bit worried about her well being but I’m also worried that she will phone the police. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do next?