Ok, so here’s the deal. Two of my friends just started dating each other. We’ll call them G for the girl and B for the boy. Now, I’ve been friends with both of them for years. I met G on my first day of orientation at college and I’ve known B since I was 14. A month or so ago they met at a party of mine and hit it off.
All through college nothing ever happened between me and G. Sure, there were plenty of times when I thought about it but I was always rational enough to know that we just weren’t compatible enough for it to work out. I think, even though there was mutual attraction, she felt the same way.
Almost 4 years ago I started dating my current girlfriend. I met her through G freshman year and two years later we started dating. I am unbelievably happy and comfortable with my current girlfriend. She however, like most girls, is incredibly insecure. She is actually quite jealous of G and doesn’t believe that nothing ever happened between G and I. She has some fairytale idea of G and I being the perfectly good looking upper middle class white couple (my girlfriend is Filipino and came from a somewhat not well off family).
So here’s the problem. G and B dating made me incredibly jealous. I never felt this way about any of the other guys G dated. But all of a sudden when this started happening I went insane. I hadn’t felt like this since I was with my bi-polar drug addict girlfriend during Freshman and Sophomore year. Everyone noticed how crazy their relationship made me and I was making things all weird for everyone. My girlfriend especially was pissed off because to her this confirmed that I loved G and wanted to be with her instead. I kept telling her that I wasn’t and I couldn’t care less if G got married tomorrow, as long as it wasn’t to B. I had her partially convinced that this was true and she even started to think that maybe it was an Alpha male dominance thing where I thought G was like part of my pack and felt threatened by B coming in and disturbing the natural order of things.
But here’s where I screw up. I call up G and apologize to her for the way I’ve been acting. I tell her that I’m just being stupid and it’s weird for me for some reason that I don’t know of and I won’t stand in their way. This doesn’t make me feel any better though. In fact, I feel worse. So all day I’m going crazy and I do something really stupid. I call her again.
I tell her that maybe I’m jealous. That even though I’m glad nothing ever happened between us because I really value our friendship, sometimes I wish that maybe something did. That I wish we had maybe shared a moment or something. Then I do what is perhaps the dumbest thing I’ve done in years. I ask her if she ever felt the same way. She hesitates for a moment and then says that yeah she was a little jealous when I started dating this one girl. Now maybe I’ve been reading her wrong all these years or maybe she was lying, but I expected more. I mean, she is kind of a flirt but she doesn’t really have many friends that she actually likes as people. And I’ve always kind of felt that she was a little more touchy feely with me than with other people (much to the chagrin to my girlfriend). So anyways, I did almost all of the talking and definitely all of the blabbering. But in the end, I told her that I was sorry again and that I won’t stand in the way of them being together if they really want to be.
I then apologized to B about the whole thing (though G and I promised to keep everything we said to ourselves). I tried to act normal the next couple of days which went ok. Though I still feel weird (it’s been a week since the phone call). I’ve kind of been avoiding talking to the both of them lately and now I’m starting to feel stupid.
I feel like G has a one up on me now. Now I’m just like every other stupid guy that fawned over her. Whereas before I was pretty much indifferent to her, now she thinks that I’ve got this lingering passion for her.
So what do I do? Continue to ignore them or just act like I don’t care again or what?