Many of you non-believers mock the so-called BS martial arts, labelling them “bullshido” (oh heinous word!) and whatnot. Therefore dismissing each TMA’s Games… huh, GrandMaster as a clown, a pushover or (worse!) a con artist.
I hereby declare war on these heathens, commiting myself to uphold the honor of teachers like Ashida, Elvis and that fat Sistema guy, the last bearers of the true bushido spirit!
I start by exposing a locked secret of the Iron Body, the 7th Form of the 32st Circle, clockwise.
Make no mistake, this ancestral form comes from the Sacred Manual of Hung Li, which has been passed from father to son, to student (save 10% in worldwide shipping NOW! Ask me how!!11).
It consists on … the Granitic Groin Guard ™
Yes, I will exemplify it to you this very instant! Unlike what some forumites pretend us to be, us TMA Masters wont keep from demonstrating the streetwise MMA punk wannabe the congruence of our traditions!
:nobodycar
Hoh?! What was that? Already the dissent starts to spread into this very humble thread!
I must act quickly, else the cynicism will wear down the foundations of the Shrine that is TMA! Here it is then, in steps easy to any ape to aprehend (we got it at the 3rd try. :eusa_thin What about you?):
1st Step: I will await the strike with a frontal horse stance (or mabu), therefore exposing my vulnerable spots to the assailant (which will most likely be you, forum troll!)
2nd Step: Unsurprisingly, the assailant will attack my nether region (doubtlessly as instructed in your devious SF threads…). This is where the magic (what other way to describe it?) comes into play.
I will inhale and focus my chi (or ki, or whatever the %&$# you may call it) at Swadhisthana chakra, allowing the ithertho dormant creativity and sexuality to flow through me, preparing the body and giving myself the upper edge on the ensuing confrontation. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP. YOU MUST NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY, YOU WILL CONCENTRATE!
A. Follow-up to 2nd step, grappling:
By grappling my groin (ooooh!), the assailant puts himself in a dire situation. Have you stopped laughing? Good, I will continue. What the obnoxious thug ignores, besides the poignant redundancy of this thread, is that he (I’m not expecting a woman to touch me in such a place anytime soon…) has effectively entered my Killing Zone.
I am free to strike my foe while he’s occupied tightening his grip on my soft bits… hey let go i’m punching you in the face… agh… uuuhh… (slumps to the ground, his face a pale rictus of agony)
B. Follow-up to 2nd step, striking:
Again you, avid lurker of the Strikeistan Subforum, will poise as my antagonist… As you go feet first for the undercarriage, I will focus my chi, like me you WILL FILL YOUR CHACKRA. YOU. WILL. NOT. FUCK. UP.
Look at how I accept the blow with an eased mind, calmed, eyes mirroring the chaotic nature of the adversary, throwing himself at me and breaking apart like the wave at the cliff.
WHACK!
:5eek:
Huh… I[/I] Ack… Hurl Huh-uh Rolf (slumps to the ground again, curling up and thus ending the lesson)
PS: Forgive bad Engrish! No dollah dollah, no spell check!