Fail Sauce (AKA Ranch Dressing): Douchebag of the Month

Re: Fail Sauce (AKA "Ranch Dressing): Douchebag of the Month

[QUOTE=jnp;2758485]So ranch salad dressing is a legitimate argument for eugenics? Is that your point?

Maybe someone who wrote an article on BS is upset that all that ranch dressing goes straight to their hips?[/quote]

All valid points and I agree 100%.

Let’s get this straight, I use ranch dressing as a gateway drug to get my son to try vegetables he would normally condemn as the spawn of Satan. After a while, the ranch gets dropped in favor of something else, like lemon juice on broccoli. Like I said, it’s a gateway drug.

I don’t believe this at all. Vids or it didn’t happen.

ps. I was channeling some of our members who are reading comprehension challenged except the last paragraph. That stuff is all true.

duuhhhhhh… huh???

[QUOTE=doofaloofa;2759371]Hey Devil

Do you put Ranch dressing on your sausage balls?[/QUOTE]

Fuck no! Why would anybody do that? It already has the two essential food groups - sausage and balls. Anything else is just pure gluttony.

[QUOTE=itwasntme;2759373]I don’t believe this at all. Vids or it didn’t happen.[/QUOTE]

Demanding vids of a child? Odd, brah.

Re: Fail Sauce (AKA "Ranch Dressing): Douchebag of the Month

[QUOTE=Raving&Drooling;2759450]Demanding vids of a child? Odd, brah.[/QUOTE]

There’s vegetables involved so that makes it a perfectly healthy request.

Here’s a good counter-argument on Ranch dressing’s behalf:

//youtu.be/HS86iPVuu38

Eat enough Ranch and you’ll be able to do this.

In other news…

Heart Attack Grill’s ‘spokesman’ dies of heart attack

[QUOTE=Phrost;2758408]
Ranch Dressing isn’t bad because it’s 99% fat. I won’t go into the fats vs. carbs debate here, but I’ll just say that bacon isn’t responsible for the Holocaust as some people operating on dietary knowledge from the 1970’s would have you believe. Our bodies are set up to consume fat because it’s a very efficient source of energy. Our ancestors, who hadn’t yet invented Death Metal, used to literally suck the marrow out of the bones of their prey, just to get at the fat content.

No, Ranch Dressing is “bad” because it’s one of the most calorie-dense food(ish) substances out there; it’s up there with ice cream and the tears of your enemies. As you can see, two tablespoons of the stuff has as many calories as a fuckbucket of broccoli. (By the way, if you eat broccoli by the bucket, send us an email).[/QUOTE]

This shit contradicts itself.

Fat is calorie dense.

Nothing wrong with ranch or mayo.

In moderation, ranch or mayo can be good for you if you’re struggling to fill your caloric needs.

Put it on some tuna and you’ve got a solid meal but eat with some breaded fried food and french fries and you’re just asking for trouble.

Here’s olive oil which is considered by many to be healthy.

Olive oil has 50 more calories per tablespoon. I’m comparing them because both are dressings in a sense and both are fat dense.

I call bullshit. But whatever… it’s funny.

Excellent article packed with win and lulz. Now this is what I come to Bullshido for :wink: