Agreed sir.
I drank more this weekend than i have all year. shrug
So Villain…details man!
Scots/Irish means you like a drink, but don’t like to pay for it?
Holy shit. NOW I’m done. The aforementioned story sucks ass. When all was said and done, we’d warranted six squad cars and an ambulance. But new years eve? Think GTA, but with no body count. It was ugly though.
I played Candyland last night.
Your fault.
You had an invitation to come with us, to which I could have guaranteed there would be no problems at all.
Everyone has there priorities I guess.
I still want details. Provocation? Instigation?
My New Years was pretty tame. Went to friends’ house party on the far far end of town. Got drunk as a skunk when I swiched from beer to champagne and then to whiskey (Crown Royal, they didn’t have any Irish or Scotch, and being Sunday, I wasn’t able to go to a liquor store to correct the situation because Texas has medieval liqour laws). Called some group called “Sober Rides” that provides free cab rides, but it took and hour and a half to get through to their dispatcher. Cab arrived at 3:30 and took me home. Got home around 4:15 and was told I had to pay full fair 'cause Sober Rides only ponies up until 3:00 AM (russinfussinossenfeffer!!!).
After giving the cabby my last $62 for a $58 cab ride (wishing that I’d gone home with one of my other friends to pass out on their couch instead), I attempted to go inside and go to bed, only to realize that I was locked out of the house. I’d locked the deadbolt to the front door from the inside, left to the party through the garage, and left the automatic garage door opener in my car at my friends’ house (DOH!!). So I grabbed a piece of firewood from off the front porch and poked a hole through the window. Scrambled through and disabled the burglar alarm before it went off. Then I had to clean up the class and cover the hole in the window with cellophane and packing tape. Finally, to bed after drinking about a half a gallon of water to down a couple of pre-emptive aspirin.
Woke up on New Years Day around noon. Dragged myself out of bed and had a couple of beers to neutralize my hangover. Called around to friends to see if anyone on my end of town could give me a ride to recover my vehicle, but only got voice mail. Took the bus. After two hours on the bus, my friends’ who had the party called me to see how I was doing. Taking pity on my now numb ass sitting at a bus stop waiting for a transfer to another bus that would cover the remaining hour to their house (yes, I was going to take a three hour fuckin’ bus ride to recover a car that took me forty minutes to drive to their house in the first place) they offered to come pick me up. Ten minutes later, I was whisked away and back to their house.
Got in my car and drove home, picking up more beer on the way. Cooked up some deer steaks when I got home. Watched a movie, drank beer, ate deer and went to bed. So far, 2007 ain’t a whole lot different than 2006 for me - Homer Simpson Effect in full swing.
And none of this shit would happen if he just came and had a good time drinking with us yuppies.
Seriously.
Since the police were involved, I’d have to say he shouldn’t give details or even anything, to a message board on the internet.
If a person thinks that they can not drink, because it pushes them over the line, or they can not handle it, they shouldn’t do it and should be supported in that decision because it’s not for them. But that doesn’t make for a very good movie, so you gotta have your priorities straight.
Much more enjoyable and friendly altered states await him upon his return.
I am not a yuppie by any stretch of the definition.
I’m not even a yippy.
WHAT ABOUT A YOGURT?
I HATE YOGURT!!!
But then, I do always have coffee with my radar.
Actually, I don’t mind telling the first story. The second, which was much awesome, is too gangster for the internet.
Now, the first night, I had a fifth of vodka and nothing to do. My usual crew was up to no good with the rolling 60s and I wanted no part of that. So I grabbed the one buddy around and went off to go find something to do. We got invited to a party, so that was the plan. On the way out, some kid my friend knows comes by talking about some weed. So my buddy invites him. Dorkiest white boy you’ve EVER seen. At one point we send him to get some girls and he fucking comes back talking about they looked like they only chilled with white people. We point out that he IS white and he runs down half his fucking family tree trying to claim otherwise. Anyways, so off we go to the party. While waiting outside to get in, we all start drinking. So here this clown goes telling us all this nonsense about about drinking 180 proof tequila before a wild threesome in mexico. As soon as we get out the car, its clear that he’s full of shit, if it wasn’t obvious, cause this motherfucker can’t drink for shit. Anyways, we grab our liquor and head on in. Ride leaves for unrelated reasons. We get to the fucking door of this gangster ass party and they take one look at this clown and tell us to take the fool home. Doesn’t make it, we call the cops and thats that. The full story is much more retarded, but thats the internet friendly one.
My new year’s eve wasn’t so fun. Me and the lads went round to andy’s house about 8ish, stocked the fridge up with drink and started laying into it. About 11.30, John, who’s already pretty hammered, decides it’s a good idea to neck a bottle of some freaky rum andy’s sister got in madagascar.
About 2 minutes later john passes out.
One of the lads who’s doing a medical degree at the minute attempts to wake him up in a variety of ways. John’s not waking up. He’s not moving at all. We figure it would probably be wise to ring an ambulance. While we wait for the ambulance to arrive, we attempt to get john inside (we have a habit of hanging out around the back drinking when we’re at andy’s place) and it proves extremely difficult.
So the paramedics arrive. They decide he has to go to hospital both because of the alcohol and the potential hypothermia. One of the lads goes with john in the hospital, I follow in a taxi. We sit about in the accident & emergency part of belfast city hospital for about 3 hours before we get a lift back to andy’s. We finally get our champagne, then pass out on the couch.
I wake up feeling incredibly nauseous for the rest of the day.
The end.
Trying to stay off the grog until at least February, and it’s going to be a month until I’m studying again. This is going to be a boring month. Yay!
What’s “rolling 60s”? Beating up old people?
HA!!! Mantis wins the FuNnY AwArD.
On the shuttle ride from San Francisco today, I heard an Air Force moron talking about his new year’s eve:
He got kicked out of a bar for being underage and with other underage people.
He talked to some Russian chicks that were totally into him
Two of his buddies decided to play Dukes of Hazzard with the Police and consequently ended up with DUIs.
I was waiting for the part where Jehova descended from Fraggle Rock to swill Frobscottle and make Whizzpoppers while having an orgy with 99 Problems, but all I got was “yeah dude that was like the best night of my life” and the story ended. His friend rebutted with a similarly lame story, and I continued to regret the fact that I got out of a very pretty girl’s bed this morning at 4 30 AM Eastern Standard Time to come back to fucking Monterey.
In other words: If you consume way too much alcohol and have no tolerance, and you also hang out with people that suck, your night is probably going to be terrible.