do your homework when it comes to flatting

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

so recently i had some problems with my previous tenant (i.e. he was a filthy prick and late on payments) and kicked his ass out. after debating whether to move or find someone else, my building manager informed me there was a guy who lives in the building who is looking for someone.

so i go and see him and unsurprisingly, hes gay. and so is the other flatmate. this doesnt shock me much considering this building is a gay hangout of sorts (fuck knows why) and i agree i would like to move in. however that night a friend of mine hooked me up with someone looking for a flatmate so i thought i would try her out, she seems cool and is moving in in a week.

this is where it gets interesting. did i mention this guy has a gay immigrant living in his loft?

anyway, he has a gay immigrant living in his loft. now because i naturally assume all gay people know all other gay people, i ask a gay mate of mine who i know has been to my building to “visit” (i.e. cum up the ass) his gay mates. guess where he was having a 10 man fuck orgy a couple of saturdays previous? yep. turns out this guy is something of a party throwing gay mack daddy, and has regular fuckfests lasting through the night, all over the entire apartment. in every room. every room. he showed me the guys dating page where it had, and i quote

“I`m also looking for a flatmate who is openminded, clean & tidy & wants to live with a horny dude in an inner city appt. Message me back for the details.”

"We are a group of attractive, young, well hung, fit & athletic men. All horny, openminded, friendly & easy going. "

just holy, fucking, shit. always do your homework kids.

2

A ten-man fuck orgy? Man, that’s a hell of a thing! Still, I see your ten-man fuck orgy and raise you a flat with a self-righteous Hippie asshole and a Junkie. The best part? I was not informed about my ex-flatmate’s junk habit until two weeks after I moved in.

I went crazy trying to figure out why there were creepy guys coming over at all hours or why I could never find a coffee-spoon, but when the Hippie laid it out for me… well, let’s just say I’ve never used the word “fuck” more times per minute than then. The weird thing was that the junkie was actually quite a nice guy. The Hippie… don’t get me started.

Oddly enough, our landlords were a gay couple named, both named Pete. Insert joke about the term “Bumping Peters” taking on a very literal meaning. They were nice guys but they had some really ugly-ass Persian cats.

3

Nothing against gays, but if I touched anything in that apartment I’d scrub myself with industrial cleaner.

4

Haha that’s like saying ‘nothing against Jews but man did Hitler have the right idea’!

5

How many posts until someone posts the “you gonna get raped” pic?

6

So, guys, here I was trying to find an apartment in Interzone, and OH MY GOD THERE WAS MUGWUMP JISSOM EVERYWHERE! QUEERS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!

Read/google/wikipedia “Mugwump”, “Interzone”, or “Naked Lunch” to get it.

7

I’d be the same if the apartment was used for straight sex parties ever night too.

8

What, seriously?

9

How about lesibian sex parties??

Somehow, though, i doubt most guys (and myself) would wait till after the party to come in and touch dirty things.

10

Hell yeah. This is no longer the swinging thing done at a private establishment for that type of activity (where one would hope it has a staff that cleans all the bodily juices that inevitable get sprayed all over the place (the bed sheets, stools, sofas and what not), usually in a semi-close circle of habitual participants.

This is a person (regardless of sexual affinities) who actively seeks out new and more partners on a regular basis, on his appartment. You really increment the risk of STD crap big time, and one can’t seriously expect an individual (or all those individuals that come and go) to be tidy and clean and what not at the apartment.

I’m sure the “scrubbing yourself” is an exageration, but there would be some serious fucking concerns regarding the health hazards this dude brings to the table… or sofa, whetever he likes to get his kidneys tickled. Whether we want to acknowledge or brush it under the carpet of political correctness, male homosexuals in general, and promiscuous bisexual “in the closet” males in particular, they made the group at the highest risk of STD. This is a fact. [READ BIG EDIT BELOW]

Alex, do you have some sort of contract or rules printed out for potential tenants to agree to? That’s why my fam does with several properties we rent. I wouldn’t want a flat mate of mine to be throwing any type of parties (sexual or not) in my property (or flat I rent under my name), smoke or do shit of that type at all.

It doesn’t guarantee you’ll get someone who comply, but will certainly discourage a lof of those individuals to even inquiry and waste your time.

[EDIT]

Just to make it clear, this is regarding individuals in those groups who engage in excessively promiscuous activities, regardless of their gender or sexual affinities. It quickly becomes a network of propagated risks. In this network, you have the most promiscuous individuals, less promiscuous ones and then those that come into the network once or a couple of times at most. Then you have the individuals that do not participate in this network directly, but by virtue of having sexual encounters with those who do.

The risks flow not only out of the network but into the network. This is why a lot of swingers only swing with certain specific couples or singles - whether they do it consciously or not to minimize risk, that’s another thing. But that’s one way of controlling risk, which is not done by individuals (gay/hetero men and women) who constantly seek new partners and meet with like-minded individuals.

More power to whoever wants to enjoy their sexual life, so long as they know the risk they get into.

“In the closet” bisexual men are most at risk, specially Hispanics and African-Americans. Due to their cultural bias/restrictions, these are the ones that seek less help, have less information and usually (out of ignorance or pure desire to explore out of their closet) engage in riskier, albeit infrequent, sexual behavior.

Just to clarify things.

11

My lazy Irish genes prevented me from putting it as eloquently as Teh El Macho, but thats pretty much exactly what I meant.

12

Sounds like you will be right at home.
Guess your homework paid off then.

13

Pics/Vids or it didn’t happen.

…o wait wrong forum to ask to bring evidence up

14

How long were you on the waiting list, Alex?

15

Dude! Go for it! You are so in!

16

Didn’t know where else to put this, or in it’s own thread, but it seems slightly appropriate, and may make you feel better about your own situation.

http://www.wyseguys.com/shittyroomate.asp