There’s an elephant in the room, and its name is Tai Chi.
Search function noob.
I know, I know, you really do full-contact three ranges of Aliveness clinchgrabble San Shou some zany practical joker mislabeled Tai Chi. I’m just having fun with you. In all honesty I admire you what you’re doing here, creating an imaginary argument based on ludricous assumptions no one in their right mind would make (or has made), thus giving you an opportunity to get on your soapbox and proselytize on the need to train in all three ranges of combat and not just groundfighting as so, so many people are saying this very second! UFC 1 CALLED, IT WANTS ITS PARADIGM SHIFT BACK.
lol jk
If you’re going to do that, do it in the good ole Lavatorr style that used to make us all laugh, otherwise you might get banned or something. Can a mod at least change his post to all caps please?
Seriously though if ‘so many people are saying it’ why are people who don’t do it trolling the shit out of CMA threads?
In all honesty I admire you what you’re doing here, creating an imaginary argument based on ludricous assumptions no one in their right mind would make (or has made)
Are you really telling me that people who only or mostly train in low-impact rolling haven’t trolled the shit out of CMA threads?
Actually, I was going to wait a few hours to make my next post to give you ample opportunity to inform me that, contary to the contents of my previous statement, passively pulling guard is NOT an effective tactic against multiple opponents. But we can just assume that you did, or made some equally absurd non-sequiter and move on with our lives. You can thank me later.
Contemporary attitudes of BJJ and its practioners vary wildly from person to person, but among some circles–namely psuedo-progressive hyperapologetic traditionalists TOTALLY NOT NAMING NAME THOUGH–there tend to arise certain misconceptions both about the nature of BJJ (and, as Cullion himself as made amply clear, BJJ and not submission grappling, wrestling, or Judo). These mentalities always follow a lovely, circular three-act progression, a delicate arc resembling a rainbow or the crest of a single drop of dew, perched precariously atop a sliver of glass in the early New England morn.
ACT I: SKEPTICISM
Having been introduced to the key players, setting, and plot, the Psuedo-Progressive Hyper Apologetic Traditionalist (or P-PHAT, for short), will by now begin to make judgements about both the quality and intensity of training. Once he read on Bullshido.net that BJJ usually doesn’t allow leglocks and begins to already shrewdly discover chinks in its armor. On another instance, he reads about how wrestlers tend to be in much better shape than BJJers. And they train in gi’s! Who wears a gi in real life??? “Ah-HA!” he muses aloud, stroking his neckbeard. “I’ll bet they must go home crying to their enormous framed pictures of Royce Gracie who they no doubt talk about every day in class when they think about that!” Fully equipped with the facts (and not a single actual BJJ class under his belt), P-PHAT can now make educated guesses that BJJ must be really easy and all about pulling guard and jutting out your chin and exposing your legs and whining about rulesets.
ACT II: RELUCTANT ASCENSION
Having made several hundred posts on Internet martial arts boards berating those vile Wastrels of ill repute that make snap judgements about Chinese Martial Arts, P-PHAT has been inadvertantly exposed to an equal number of pro-BJJ posts. He does not question BJJ’s efficacy in the ring or on the street, for that would be bourgeoise, merely the training methodology. He points out that BJJ does not deal with slams, or cervical locks, or heel hooks, or (close tab: www.bullshido.net/forums. open tab: CBJJ rules) poor sportsmanship, whereas an art like, say, catch wrestling incorporates all those techniques plus their Americana is, like, a wrist lock also. But being ever open-minded, P-PHAT opts to visit a BJJ school, because “it’ll blend well with my Xing Yi which is really more like boxing and we have people come in and do Kali seminars”.
ACT III: P-PHAT JOINS BJJ, GOES AWOL ON CMA
During his first lesson, P-PHAT asks several passive-aggressive questions about guard slamming and knee compressions. He is shocked to discover the school has several students competing in MMA, that Judo blackbelts and collegiate wrestlers intermingle with the student body and often stay after to work takedowns. This isn’t BJJ at all!!! “But Jeff,” he queries, feeling visibly uncomfortable calling an instructor by their first name, “What about the Aliveness Brigade? What about all those people that don’t train MMA, that don’t box? Aren’t they just total pussies?”
“I don’t know what an Aliveness Brigade is, but see if you can stay in that three-stripe white belt’s guard for two minutes without getting swept. Then we’ll talk about striking from the guard.”
P-PHAT complies, and using the principles he was taught in Xing Yi, grunts loudly and wiggles his elbows into his opponent’s thighs. He is summarily swept and armbarred.
Now, most people could be complete retards and have this lesson banged into their heads over the course of several weeks. God knows I’ve met enough people that say “I could just punch you” from here and then get magically triangled thirty seconds later. But P-PHAT…he’s a pretty slick fellow. And after having a 230-pound man drive his knee directly into his diaphragm for three agonizing minutes, he realizes that even in sport Jiu Jitsu, relief is not "always a tap away. " And he realizes that, after several sessions of having his limbs tied into knots and a coarse gi raked across his face and a fat man sitting on his head and his arms cranked in funny places that, indeed, not only is this tougher than it looks, but exquisitely “alive”.
EPILOGUE: THIS DOESN’T COUNT AS AN ACT
After his breakfast epiphanies giggle snort, P-PHAT renounces his old ways. Although he continues taking Xing Yi, he takes pride in saying he does Jiu Jitsu. Having interacted with living, breathing BJJers, he understands that few, if any, consider sport Jiu-Jitsu equivalent to MMA. Those that train MMA consider it a valuable aspect of their training. And the whole street vs. sport thing…well, that’s just asinine.
fin.
And to answer your question, I do Kajukenpo under a BJJ purple with full-contact MMA sparring.
Exhibit A)
See the inverse would just get people banned in DHS.
Exhibit B)
Virus.
You lose sir.
LOL111 kenpo!!!
… cervical locks? I think a girl I knew once had that.
Locks as in hair? That’s serious pube-age…
uh no, an elephant si kool b/c u can ride it but iz tai chi kule 
Wait, I thought elephants were all about the muay thai?
Fucking hilarious.
You aren’t really reading this thread or thinking about anything I’m saying.
I have read the thread, I just find your arguments silly and trite and borne from insecurity.
im so high
You were worrying me for a minute Aeso.
A current IM conversation between Aesopian and I regarding this thread:
Aesopian: Spoiler: I’m not.
Cassius: You should be
Cassius: ON LIFE
Aesopian: I don’t think anyone will get that.
Aesopian: But that’s never the point.
Cassius: Instead of drinking for Cinco De Mayo yesterday, I actually hiked Pinnacles National Monument and watched some California Condors flying around. And then they started having sex with each other on this rock and the peaceful moment was sort of ruined.
Aesopian: I can see why this would remind you of that.
Cassius: Exactly.
Quite.