So guys, whats the craziest non-organizated street, school, or wherever fight that you have ever been in or witnessed in person? And how did you deal with it?
Um, I saw a dude in the mount position on some girl in the parking lot at a restaurant near my house today while I was walking to the supermarket… I was about to become some street lava when it became clear that they were both laughing, so I raised an eyebrow and kept on walking.
I’m pretty bad ass, top that.
Underground no holds barred full contact Tea-kwon-Do Pit fighting!
Dude it was crazy! They had a patterns devision and everything.
TKD
PS - Did you tell MAP you were leaving?
I saw a wing chun guy bite the eyeball out of some grapplers head. It was fuckin crazy man. Ever since then I am all about the centerline and the anti-grapple.
The craziest fight I was ever in? That’s a long story, and it goes a little something … like this:
I was in Jeff’s crib one night about eight
And we were watchin’a couple of Mike Tyson fight tapes
Jeff was like…
man, you see how hard Mike’s punchin’?
Come on Jeff the other guy was just lungin’
Left, right, left, right, another K.O.
If that was me I’d a been ok though
The very next day I gave Russell a ring
With J.L. and Omar we all called Don King
I said 'yeah, Don I got a problem
tell 'em Prince
‘yeah what’s up? what you sayin? you tryin’ to solve ‘em?’
‘forget the small talk let’s get to the nitty gritty’
‘me and Mike, two months, Trump, Atlantic City’
yo, you got this you gonna bust dude up
Yeah, you can be my trainer
word up?
I’m rough like a freight train smooth like ice
And yo Jeff, straight up, I think I can Mike Tyson
man, you can beat him, you can beat him
Yo man, word up
Yo I put on a couple of pounds man we can do this
you can do it
[Newspaper boy, old men:]
Extra, extra read all about it
Fresh Prince challenges Iron Mike Tyson to a fight
(laughing)
Ah he’s crazy
Ain’t that the boy who knocked the guy’s head in the fifthteen row?
Hey Leroy, you read the paper?
That boy done lost his mind
There was press conference to see what training I was doing
Before then I had never heard reporters booing
Cameras flashing I was in the middle
I didn’t wanna look dumb so I exagerrated a little
I said uh I been training 2o hours a day
Lifting big old cars and big bails of hay (that’s what he’s doin’)
And I run 10,000 miles every morning
Thinkin’ about Mike and my moment of glory
(tell ‘em more)
I drink water 20 gallons a pop
And I can throw a Volkswagon a whole half block
(he can do it too)
And 4 million sit ups…in a minute…
…I ain’t lying I did it
(he done it)
The general public thought I was a fool
I was gettin’ dissed but I guess that was cool
Well gettin’ dissed is never good
But I was even gettin’ dissed in my old nieghborhood
I was at the corner at the top of my block
There was a couple of people standing outside of the barber shop
It was Larwence, my barber, and Franny
He yelled out
Hey, Prince, you can win!
I said ‘really?’ and I stopped to chat; he said:
You could beat him man, if you hit him wit a bat
Ha ha…you gon’ get whipped
But can I have your shoes when he break your neck?
Everybody was laughin’ out loud
I thought at least my own Grandma would be proud
I went to her house and snuck in to surpise her
I heard her on the phone
(a thousand bucks on Tyson)
[Prince, Ring Announcer:]
It’s fight day and man am I hyped
Woah I can’t wait to see Mike
Boy I’m hyped ready to be my thing
Trump Castle Casino
In this corner…weighing in
At a mere 165 pounds, the Lighting Rodent,
The Fresh Prince! (booing)
And in this corner…
The heavyweight champion of the world…
Iron Mike Tyson (cheering)
I came out hustling sliding and grabbing
Slippin’ and dippin’ hustlin’ and jabbin’
For a second I looked good out there
But then Mike brought to reality my worst nightmare
One punch, that’s all it took (oooh)
He hit me in my ribs and my insides shook
Now how can I say this and be a little discreet
Let’s just say that my bowels released
I called timeout and went back to my corner
Said to my coach ‘ain’t no way I’m goin’
The hell back out there, man you can’t forget it’
My body’s like a punchin’ bag and Mike is gonna (hit it)
They tried to make me go meet my doom
But I sucker punched my coach and hauled to my dressing room
The next day the headline in the town
‘Fresh Prince breaks camp, Tyson wins first round’
Some fool asked why I ran away
I said ‘a good run is better than a bad stand anyday’
My career is over as far as fightin’
But I don’t know what made me think I can beat Mike Tyson
[2 old men:]
Hey Leroy!
yeah
Did you see the fight? did you see the fight?
the…the…the football player?
No the boxer, come on man
I was at the fight last night
I paid four hundred and seventy fo’ thousand dollars
For my ticket right…
ah, you weren’t at no fight
I seen you around here last night
…and the boy…the boy ran out the ring
you always lying
I ain’t lying…
you lie to your grandkids…
…I seen it…
…you been lying ever since you was a little kid
…Mike Tyson punched the boy in his ribs, and his leg fell off
His leg fell off and it fell over…
…you always lying
…and it knocked the HBO camerman’s camera fell out his hand
I said, god damn, I couldn’t beleive it Leroy
You shoulda been there…you definetly shoulda been there
…I was right next to you playin’ checkers
This one time, my gang and I were out hanging at the local dinner, lookin to pick up some girls when the local toughs came along, snapping their fingers and swaying from side to side in unison.
Well you know me and my boyz couldn’t stand for that on our turf, this diner was ours as we’d won it in the All Inner City Dance Off of '99. So we immediately broke out the heavy guns by performing the Thriller dance but seeing as we didn’t have our boom box we were stuck humming it.
The toughs weren’t ready for that and all they could do was fight back with a quickly improvised booty shaking worthy of a rap video, so many pasty white asses shaking so much was a heavy blow to us.
Well that was it, we broke out the Xtreme Martial arts and I performed a 720 kick in the air before landing in a wicked pose I’d picked up by watching Jet Li’s The One.
The toughs broke down then, they couldn’t stand up to our brutal street dancing skills and they ran off to us shouting “You got SERVED”.
That was one crazy ass fight.
We had milkshakes after.
i loled. twice.
well, keep going.
I was drinking with some friends at a bar and one of them started getting out of hand and talking shit to some crusty punks at a table next to us. The punks started to get pissed off and my friend just kept talking shit, even though he was way too drunk to fight even if he knew how, which he didn’t. So me and my other friend were trying to de-fuse the situation while laughing our asses off at the same time. Anyway, my friend starts saying “Come on, you little faggots, you ain’t gonna do shit. Fuck you faggots.” And I’m laughing holding one of the crusty punks back, because, unknown to my drunk friend, he was the one who wasn’t going to do shit, and the punks were about to kick the living shit out of him. So I’m standing in between the punks and my friend, laughing, and I’m looking at the punks eyes and I see a light go off above his head and he says: “That’s right, I am a faggot! I wanna fuck you up the ass!” And all of a sudden his buddies catch on and start in on him the same way, talking about how sweet his ass looked, how the were gonna tag team him, etc. (This was in Seattle, near a part of town where a lot of gays live, so my friend had no reason to think they were messing with him.) The look on my buddy’s face was priceless.
About an hour later, after my friend was kicked out of the bar for being an asshole in the pit during the show, we bought the punks some beers and we all had a laugh about it. Turns out they were celebrating one of the punks marriage to his stinky girlfriend. Man am I glad I’m all grown up now.
For the fight action, skip to bold print:
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn’t leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don’t blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me “Sue.”
Well, he must o’ thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a’ lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I’d get red
And some guy’d laugh and I’d bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named “Sue.”
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I’d roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I’d search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I’d stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me “Sue.”
[B]Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother’d had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: “My name is ‘Sue!’ How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!”
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I’ve fought tougher men
But I really can’t remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin’ at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: “Son, this world is rough
And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you’d have to get tough or die
And it’s the name that helped to make you strong.”
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn’t blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I’m the son-of-a-bitch that named you “Sue.'”[/B]
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I’m gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
…well…Mr. Miyagi JUST got done fixing my bad knee…
WOOHOO! Circa 1989 Storyboard Rap for the win!
I want of .gif of the Tyson dance at 3:45 in that clip.
I usually have tolerance for all but the most retarded stupidity. This thread sucks, it was in the wrong forum, please go to Sherdog if this is the thread quality you will be starting. Moved to Trollshido.
GG
I saw 2 military guys (1 drunk 1 sober) on Hooker hill in Korea arguing while another guy tried to break things up. Finally the guy trying to break things up said fuck it and let them have at it. They started swinging wild and finally ended up on the ground rolling around, just then about 4 more guys showed up that were freinds with the sober guy. So they all circled around them and started kicking the drunk guy and smashing beer bottles over his head. After about 20 seconds of this these huge Marines show up. “What the fuck is this!” All the other military guys (who were much smaller than the marines) grabbed their buddy and ran. “That’s right you better fucking run!”
What a crazy place Hooker hill is.
Anyone got a plane ticket to Korea?