a look into PC brainwashing vs biological wiring

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

A while ago i had a pretty hard breakup, not because anything particularly horrible happened (although i might have blown up about small things at the time which were, in an ultimate sense, my own fault anyway- we are still friends after it all) but more because I didn’t understand why.

This led me to a bout of drinking, which led me to seeing a psychologist for a short time, where we had some very interesting discussions, some of which are quite personal but others just about cause and effect, biological wiring, and the scourge of the media, as well as internal happiness. I’d like to share some of those findings with the people (and emos) of this forum. because thats what a nice guy i am.

Needs vs wants.

Everyone searches for happiness, and everyone finds it in different ways. some of us have a harder time of it than others, some people are made happy fairly easily. For me my happiness has always involved flooding myself with something, be it my sport, work, or a woman. This is destructive when it becomes a need, and unfortunately is quite common amongst younger people because they are far less confident than they would like to believe. For myself, I would often focus on a single thing until I destroyed it. When I was previously fighting, I trained hard enough to put me off training (and injure myself in the process). My last relationship, I devoted myself to one person so much that it destroyed the relationship.

A lot of people think that needing someone is good whereas really, its awful. A person thinks they are in love when actually, that person has just become a need for them, a means for them to be happy. until someone is truly happy with themselves they will find it very hard to differentiate between needing someone and being in “love” with someone (a word that is thrown around like candy)

In an effort to put this to the test, I have spent the last couple of months balancing out my life. I split my time between several recreations (wednesday night jug and pool night with the boys, kickboxing training 3 nights a week, salsa class once a week, and of course my now blossoming business as a PT) and I can safely say that I am the happiest I have ever been.

The media vs how we are wired-

From an early age we are sponfed bullshit stories about how we should be attracted to someone for who they are, not what they have. how a women is a gold digger if she is attracted to wealth, how it is shallow for a man to go after a girl because she is hot. Why? this is a pretty recent kind of thing- only in the last few decades has this become the “norm”

Women are hardwired to be attracted to certain things. power (physical, social, monetary) and strength (emotional and physical) and depending on their cycle, masculinity. Looking back on my relationship i can safely say that every period when my gf seemed distant (and in fact when we broke up) were times when I had lost one or more of those things- when i had let myself get unfit, when i had been emotionally weak, when i had been poor. would i blame her? no, but society would like to. I was attracted to her because her smell (a difference in immune systems that would lead to healthy babies) her shape (wide hips, narrow waist) and her exotic face (showing that she clearly had no relation to me that might taint the gene pool) and society would probably like to say that those reasons are just as bad. the unfortunate side of this for women being, of course, that as a man gets older his qualities grow stronger, while a womans tend to get weaker.

Sure, the other persons personality comes into it, but i dont believe that a good personality can conquer these other things. Of course there is a bit of a sliding scale, brad pitt probably has higher expectations than that one legged vietnam vet on the corner who talks to his dog all day, but its all relative.

The bogus PC crap that gets spoonfed to us has a lot to answer for in creating a generation of people who are confused as fuck- they SHOULD be attracted to this guy because hes really nice and does everything for them… but hes a sap, and thats where the biology takes over. everyone knows a guy like this.

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Interesting post, and though personally I think it’s much harder to draw a distinct line between nature/nurture than you maybe suggest, I’m pleased for you that you’re talking things over and finding it useful.

I myself have had two bouts of therapy over the years, and, looking back on it, I realize that the process of making the appointment, going to the office, and just sitting there and talking was an important part of the recovery. It felt both soothing and proactive, and that’s exactly what I needed.

I’ve also had a couple of bollocks therapists, though. One of them said to me “because you think your parents let you down, you’ve decided to become your own parent. The only problem is, you’re not a very good parent are you?”

Another time, a different one just let me talk and talk and when I’d finished, said cheerfully “my, you are confused. Same time next week?”

Glad to hear you’re feeling good, mate.

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Thanks for this Alex, it helped me remember something that, apparently, I had forgotten and needed to be reminded of.

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the one regret i DO have about it is that i didnt talk to someone about it earlier. then again, i didnt realise there was a problem until it was a bit late.

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I find it interesting on the “who a person is” versus “what a person has” paradigm you mentioned that we even differentiate between the two. A lad or lass being witty is an acceptable reason to pursue them, but the same lad or lass being good looking is considered a shallow one.
I think a lot of it goes deeper than just post-modern political correctness, and into quite archaic Christian anti-material thought. Things like wealth, beauty, and other such terrestrial assets tend to get a bad wrap in Christian thought for being impermanent and vain and meaningless and blah blah blah, whereas our celestial characteristics of our mind and spirit and such were considered on a higher plane, and capable of bringing us closer to God and transcending this world after our death and such.
I’m unsure of who developed this sort of thinking, but I hear it evangelized on street corners on a fairly regular basis.

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yeah i get what you mean. and when you think about it even those things can be temporary, a young man might be sharp and witty, and then as he gets old and his mind turns to custard hes a drooling old man in the corner. no different to a beautiful girl becoming an old crone.

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Ugly people.

No, seriously.

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I’m going to guess it was either Augustine or Thomas Aquinas. They seem to have contributed more to Christian thought than anyone else.
And that includes Jesus.

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I’m not sure it’s Christian in origin, although the broader principle was articulated at about that time.

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This is a very interesting topic, and Q-dot the vicious finds himself surprised that it has not gained more attention.

Personally, The Q thinks that people draw upon “evolution” and the way humans are “hard wired” as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour. There is something to be said for integrity, loyalty and persistence. Saying that when one partner loses something that makes him/her attractive, eg. beauty, wit, athleticism/fitness, justifies the other partners abandonment is fucking ridiculous.

Yes, we are human, and therefore have certain basic instincts. But we are human (as opposed to [lower] animals) because we have control over these aforementioned basic instincts, superego, if you will. Therefore anyone who cannot control their basic instincts to such an effect is a bad person/human.

We are not seasonal, we don’t have to compete for and fuck as many women as possible to makes sure that our genes are passed on. Instead we have family structures, and ostensibly permanent relationships. If evolution is as true as everyone says it is, then we should find that those who let their basic instincts take over should become less successful/fit, as they would fail within society.

To conclude: fuck all the idiots running their yappers about shit they don’t understand and using silly examples like “oh, I’m attracted to wide hips because women with wide hips are better at bearing children” and other such things which are only minimally applicable. I for one know that I’m attracted to girls with big asses because I grew up watching fucking Mystikal music videos on MTV, and those were shaking they ass, and watching themselves to great effect.

I also like girls who enjoy anime, now where the fuck is evolution?

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I bet if you could photograph Alex’s emotional life, it would look like that famous picture of a naked little girl getting napalmed from the vietnam war.

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Hahahaha.

Burn.

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To add some content, I agree with q-dot here. Our physical attraction is based far more on nurture than nature, if we are actually talking about the particular people we chose to be with. you can, in retrospect, find all kinds of reasons that the qualities you happen to be attracted to make sense from an evolutionary perspective. True, nobody wants to fuck a nintey year old woman with scurvy, but that example shows that these darwinian markers for attraction serve as general guidepoints, not justification for why you are attracted to X,Y and Z quality. If that were true, then why isn’t everyone else who is a product of the same evolutionary process as you attracted to the exact same women?

Applying this reductionist attitude of “it’s evolution!” is just an attempt to make the emotional trauma of haing one’s heart ripped out less confusing and messy. While it’s true that we really are not in control, the forces that are cannot be penetrated with a ninth grade understanding of biology.

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[quote=TheRuss;2054915]Ugly people.

No, seriously.[/quote]

Dammit.

Push-ups.

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Summary of thread: I just got dumped. Bitches ain’t shit.

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[quote=Domite;2087447]
Applying this reductionist attitude of “it’s evolution!” is just an attempt to make the emotional trauma of haing one’s heart ripped out less confusing and messy. While it’s true that we really are not in control, the forces that are cannot be penetrated with a ninth grade understanding of biology.[/quote]

Domite, motherfucker, you heard her.

In fact the field of Evolutionary Psychology is tremendously controversial among actual scientists with actual degrees. Alex, however, thinks he’s got the answers to questions of behavioral genetics that have stumped scientists for decades because some girl doesn’t want to fuck him anymore.

Bonus internet points for raging against the PC machine. That proves what a sassy, independent thinker he is.

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I prefer Kipling.

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[quote=Hedgehogey;2087675]Domite, motherfucker, you heard her.
[/quote]

Heard who? Sorry, I’m slow on the uptake.