whats the worst sex you ever had

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

i mean the very worst shittiest sexual experience you have had in your life. with yourself doesnt count. animals get bonus points.

mine was when i was I think 16 or 17 and this was the second girl I had ever been with. We were at a small party (like 6 people) at this rich girls house. or richer than my family was at that stage anyway which basically meant she had more than one tv in her house. Apart from me there was the hot rich girl, her big tough as bricks boyfriend, my skinny weed smoking ass, my stoner friend, and two ugly fat girls. you can see where this is going.

The boyfriend left at some stage probably to go to a better party, leaving us to talk shit, listen to whatever crap music i listened to at 16, and get very, very drunk. I wasn’t stoned at the time so my true drugged potential wasn’t shining through but i was as drunk as it gets without cuddling a toilet bowl. After playing “volleyball” with one of the ugly girls using a balloon for a while we shared a moment. a moment of looking into each others eyes and experiencing… just kidding, I was drunk off tequila and horny as hell. even that drunk she looked terrible but what the fuck. we went to bed.

Now I have to give kudos to my friend here. he actually came into the room, jumped up and down on the bed saying “don’t do it man” before the other fat ugly girl dragged him off to her room. He claims that she pushed him onto the bed, he hit his head and passed out. yeah fucking sure. anyway it didnt take long before we were all over each other in what would be a pretty hilarious scene, skinny white boy and BIG asian girl intertwined. she was on top and in control and then it happened- i became stone cold sober. I can’t really describe the terror of “waking up” while a girl probably twice my size rides me into the orgasmic abyss. I immediately went soft and claimed to be done. I felt kind of bad for her but damn. i just couldn’t do it. she took it pretty well considering, said she hated how her last boyfriend (holy shit how did she get a boyfriend) would pump away for hours. thanks, that makes me feel heaps better.

It didn’t stop there. apart from being the only time where I actually lost wood mid coitus, I woke up that morning and my asshole friend had taken all my clothes and hidden them. So im walking round this house DESPERATE to leave, butt naked, scared as all hell that the parents of the house were gonna come home and find me and probably call the cops. or kick my ass, or both. instead I find my friend and threaten to jump on him and rub my junk on him unless he gave me my clothes. fucker hid them in the oven.

Now at this point I had two options, I could wait for the manatee to rise from her slumber and tell her that sorry i dont think it’ll work out, bla bla bla. or i could flee. yeah, im a coward, and in my haste i managed to break the wing mirror on my car reversing down their driveway.

It was about 2 days later I think that her friend rang me and asked if I wanted to take the manatee to the school dance. I told her no and she said ok… and asked if that was my first time. damn. that bitch totally spilled about mr floppy. I just hung up.

I had actually managed to black this story out until a little while ago when I was back in my hometown helping my dad build a new house. Went to a hardware store to get some supplies with my mum and guess who our checkout girl was. yuh huh. She squinted at me a little (I look a lot different now than when i was an anorexic weed smoking dork of the highest order. she looked much the same) then asked if I remembered when we used to hang out. I must have turned red as a tomato and literally dragged my mum out the door before i started howling with laughter in the carpark.

The best part was when I explained to my mum what had happened and she just raised an eyebrow and said

“jesus alex I thought you had standards”

2

The worst ever? Wow, so many to choose from. I’ll give you the short version of this. I hooked up with two strippers at some half-assed rave. Everbody was doing all sorts of drugs. I Only did some X and a little (and by little I mean a fucking lot) coke.We went back to my apartment and after some making out on the couch, the three of us went back to the bedroom. Everybody got naked and started doing “stuff” to each other. It was at this point, to my absolute horror, that I realized my johnson wasn’t going to cooperate. After several minutes of awkward BJ’s and varied attempts to make my dick come to life, by both girls, to no result, I finally admitted defeat and told them to stop. They ended up doing all kinds of nasty things to each other in front of, and on top of me. All the while I was helpless to do anything other than sit there, drink beer, and watch. It was so humiliating. I think that’s my worst.

By the way, that was a great story Alex.

3

I’m not sure that qualifies as sex.

4

Maybe not, but it’s sexual at least. Alex just said “sexual experience.”

5

That’s funny, I’ve heard the same story from a girlfriend, she and her friend even tied the guy to a chair and did the double lapdance thing, he still couldn’t perform. For shame.

6

Shit Alex, that experience sounds just like my worst one as well… except that, unlike you, the manatee was the first one in my life. It almost scarred me for life. Blame it on peer pressure since I was the only one in my group of 16 year old friends that “hadn’t done it yet” - later I found out half of the other fuckers were lying about their scores. Fuckers.

But yeah, she was ugly, big, way older than me, and she had an scar on her face. Worst of all, I wasn’t drunk. I swear I’m not making this shit out. . I wanted to stop being the “last virgin” in the group at all costs, and the end justified the means.

After that nightmare, I swore never to do it with someone I don’t find attractive. Stupid shit we do when we are 16.

7

everyone at high school lies about their hook ups. except one guy i know who was a sincere player and had a beard by the time he was 13.

8

I was stuck in a house @ 16 with no car and a girl and no condoms, absolutely none. Being stupid and inexperienced I didn’t keep any around at the time as I was basically a virgin (though I’d dry humped girls before). I ended up searching my dad’s room for one briefly, felt really bad about it, then we proceeded to administer what we fathomed oral sex to each other for quite awhile, with both of us being highly unskilled and unable to get off properly. But I guess at least she wasn’t a manatee, rofl

9

My penis got a girl kicked off the soccer team and her scholarship revoked. I imagine that was pretty horrible for her. I thought it was funny, though.

10

you guys really need to put more effort into these stories. and camus, you should have just gone bareback and then made her get a morning after pill :stuck_out_tongue:

11

I ruined someone’s life with my cock. What more do you want?

12

Or take her on a trip to browntown

13

Was doing it with an ex and she started crying while in the middle of the act. That ruined it for me. You can all call me a pussy and make fun of me all you want, but I just couldn’t finish the deed.

14

any reason for the tears?

15

Either she still liked me or she was hating herself for sleeping with me again. Probably a bit of both.

16

Maybe your just that bad.

17

id probably cry if i was having sex with ukemi so i totally see where shes coming from

18

the worst sex was definitely when the girl gave me a bj, and it was her first, and it hurt more then it helped

i had to stop her mid bj and just gave up

that sucked.

19

The worst sexual experience of my life was when, after the act (our first time), the girl told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I was 19.

I win the thread.

20

I suppose if you’re just talking about the moment itself, then my first time would probably be the worst; short and awkward, et cetera. I suppose that’s the norm, although I’d find it hard to trust any anecdotes to the contrary.

However, if you want to broaden the question to the one I regret the most, it’d probably be my last time with that same girl (also my last time to date, but who’s keeping track?). We’d broken up some time before, but she’d contacted me, very depressed, it seemed, and I was the only person available to talk to her at the time. I went to see her, and we ended up getting back together. We went on one more date, went back to her place and had sex, and I went home to get some sleep before going out to lunch with her and some other friends the next day.

When I go to ye olde eatery, another friend tells me that she gave him notice that she wasn’t coming. I shrugged this off, and made mention of us getting back together. He turns to me and says (I paraphrase) “Hey, wait a minute; she said she’d told you in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want a boyfriend right now.”

She’s since been trying to write me off to everyone she knows, even some people who were still hanging out with me. Saying that I was still a virgin, we’d only gotten close to having sex one time, etc.

So I’d say that qualifies as my worst sexual experience – albeit in retrospect.