What the shazbot?

Now, this may not be the best place to do this sort of thing and I’m sure someone will mock me but that is fine, whatever.

My girlfriend seems to be living in constant fear she will become pregnant. There’s no effective means to reason with her (as far as I have discerned), and is beginning to make up strange arbitrary rules for us banging solely based around her irrational fear of pregnancy.

Now, we’re always safe (insofar as I always wear a condom. She would be on birth control but her body reacted funnily to it). So, I guess what I’m saying is, what do I do about this issue? Do I bend to her whims? Maybe I’m a misogynist or something but I don’t really think it is all that awesome to be expected to pull out before I finish while wearing a condom.

Also, from my experience, condom failures are usually what I would call ‘noticeable’ in that when a condom broke, it has basically just become a funny looking sleeve. From what I recall of condom statistics, aren’t condoms 100 effective provided they do not break and are applied properly? I do a quick check before I toss the condom in the trash for leaks or anything but I will concede it is not an exhaustive procedure. Still, she seems to be convinced somehow there is just a 3 percent chance my semen will end up on the other side by way of some sort of pregnancy wizard. Am I wrong here, or what’s the deal? It’s kind of a buzzkill to have to deal with ‘oh my god I’m pregnant’ paranoia especially because she is usually the one initiating the sex anyway.

Now, we’re always safe (insofar as I always wear a condom. She would be on birth control but her body reacted funnily to it).

If you solely rely on condoms, then she’s got a point

Also, from my experience, condom failures are usually what I would call ‘noticeable’ in that when a condom broke, it has basically just become a funny looking sleeve. From what I recall of condom statistics, aren’t condoms 100 effective provided they do not break and are applied properly?

No. Double checking on wikipedia, they have on average a 15% failure rate, or a 2% rate when applied perfectly. 2% sounds like a low rate, but assuming you have sex once a week that’s still a pretty high failure rate by the first year.

It’s kind of a buzzkill to have to deal with ‘oh my god I’m pregnant’ paranoia especially because she is usually the one initiating the sex anyway.

I definitely understand. I’d be asking her to talk to her doctor about alternatives (as I understand it, side effects can be eliminated by using different pills/implants etc)

[QUOTE=stealth_monkey;2574889]I definitely understand. I’d be asking her to talk to her doctor about alternatives (as I understand it, side effects can be eliminated by using different pills/implants etc)[/QUOTE]

This is true, each of my serious gf’s has had a different form of birth control, and not just this tyoe of pill or the other - which is a good option. Also a patch and a silicone ring which was placed inside her vagina and left there for 3 weeks. Each form has a different chemical composition. So, she should really ask the Gyno for more options, mainly for her as it will improve your chances dramatically, and also because it should give her some peace of mind.

anal solves pregnancy trust issues.

what’s a condom?

Shazbot? Mork and Mindy?

//youtu.be/UX0WVgqo-2M

WTF!!!

Double bag it, problem solved.

There is a pretty narrow time range in which women can get pregnant, it’s not as easy as some think.

Have her get her tubes tied?

[QUOTE=BKR;2575129]There is a pretty narrow time range in which women can get pregnant, it’s not as easy as some think. [/QUOTE]

This is true, but it’s also true that semen can sometimes survive for weeks inside the body of a woman post-ejaculation and still impregnate her.

Cut it off, man, cut it off. It’s the only way!

suggest she gets a cap or sponge and spermicidal gel, spray or film to use alongside the condom. you can hep her put it in and call it fore-play.
i would just dump her, but im single so dont take my advise

If she’s mindfucking you with it, mindfuck her back and accuse her of trying to steal your DNA. Every time she acts like a nutcase, point out that you just dont why she’d make such a fuss over it, yet be unwilling to do anything about it. Unless…duh duh duh!!! She’s trying to steal your DNA.

Dont listen to me, I currently think all women are irrational inferior bitches.

Anal sex only.

[QUOTE=Rivington;2608064]Anal sex only.[/QUOTE]

No lube. It’ll learn her to keep that neuroticism to herself.