so i am now single, after breaking up with the girlfriend. was mutual sort of, in that i have no hard feelings because to be honest with myself it was never going to work out in the end for reasons im not going to go into on a public board. the only thing im still sore about is the fact that i lost a year in a fairly serious relationship.
anyway we met up for drinks and to go to a concert with her me and her friend. now this friend has always thought i was cute and nice etc and farah said that she would be happy if i dated her because she knew we would get along really well. this was good for me because when i sat down and had the drinks there was no more emotional attachment there, just friendliness. so im glad that ended ok. we went to the concert (NZ band called opshop, and having seen QOTSA, pumpkins, muse, tool, the killers, etc, this concert was better) and had a ball and then left for town, and decided to go to a bar called family (gay bar)
this is where shit got a little weird.
we were dancing, all good, then the friend goes off with some girl. i look back over a little while later and see she is making out with the girl. this is about where i just feel stink and want to leave so i go outside. they followed me and i said it was hard to see the girl i used to love dancing like that, and the girl who i thought in time i might date kissing another girl- still feeling a bit emotionally fragile and all >_<
her friend tells me she has no interest she was just kissing her to try and turn her gay as a favour for the other girl. ok. so we drop my ex off and then talk for a little bit, i tell her im sorry for putting her on the spot like that and i was just getting bad messages cos im still a bit shaken up. she said dont be sorry, give it a little while to get your head together and we can see what happens from there. and to txt her when i get home (she was catching a cab) cos she was worried about me walking around in central city. which was sweet of her.
thoughts? am i destined to only ever be attracted to crazy women?
Didn’t you just had your anniversary and said she was the best thing that could happen to you and you love her like the first day and shit?
On the question, stop the fucking troll, like right now and go back to jerking off to hentai and shit… wait this was somebody else, anyway stop trolling.
Firstly it wasn’t a wasted year, you’ll end up looking back fondly at that time and even if it was total hell you would have grown as a person by experiencing it.
Secondly, how the hell did you get convinced to go to a gay bar?
Last, if you can figure out why you like the crazy girls you might be able to address it and start seeing some semi-normal girls. I have the opposite problem, crazy girls are attracted to me… they’re great chicks and i start dating them then BAM, crazy as hell.
Sorry to hear that Alex but you seem to have grown in the year you were in the relationship, think of it as an experience that’s just made you richer and more interesting as a person.
On a positive note, you are now eligible to enter the ‘Win a Date with a BS girl*’ competition!
Speaking from a perspective of going through a similar thing from just yesterday, I can say that this is so exactly NOT what Alex needs to be hearing right now.
I don’t understand why a year in a relationship in which you were reportedly very happy and content is suddenly a waste of time. Careful you’re not suffering from the grass greener syndrome.
For the 13,762nd time I am going to agree with my best buddy The Question “Just this once.”
Right after a break-up though, especially after a long-term one where you really felt like the relationship was going somewhere in terms of commitment, it’s hard to feel anything other than an empty letdown, no matter how happy you were. You feel like maybe you wouldn’t have been as happy for that period of time, but at least you wouldn’t have built up hopes only to get them smashed.
That kind of “waste of time” feeling. It’s hard to realize you’ll eventually look back and be glad it all happened the way it did.
Maybe there’s something, that something you’re calling “crazy” that sets them apart from everyone else. Do they all have one significant quality outstanding about them?
Anyway, that other girl really doesn’t sound like she’s got the maturity to deal with yet. Maybe she never will.
I wouldn’t be in such a rush though, enjoy being single, and take a little bit of time to see the world through only YOUR eyes again. It’s an awesome oppurtunity to grow, and maybe with that down the line, you’ll be attracted to a whole new set of women.
I am very sorry though, and I hope you don’t take anything we say as making little of your pain.
P.S. Enjoying singledom doesn’t require you have drunken sex with thousands of girls until you forget about the one you cared about. But I’m sure 99% of the people here will disagree with me on that one.
Too many guys I know use the broad term ‘crazy’ to describe the girls they date. They somehow think its a cool thing but can’t quite define it or use the term to describe pretty common female behaviours like a) being jealous b) constantly changing her mind c) checking out other guys/girls to deliberately cause trouble d) wanting you to spend more time with her than your friends e) being a bitch to your friends etc.
I think the “crazy” term also comes from self-perpetuated stereotypes many women seem to attribute to cute, feminine behaviours. Even open flirting, teasing, poking, feigning weakness, etc. There are a lot more, but, I’d rather not think about it. Not all women, just a lot.
Don’t get me wrong, I think guys definitely take some of the blame for it too. Like having their own personal hang-ups, or categorizing behaviours that may be thoroughly justified.
Either way, I hope we here from Alex, if any of this helped.
It’s just a hunch, but I think that this new one will probably end up fucking with your head if you let her.
Been there mate, but luckily I’m naturally quite aloof so the damage wasn’t too severe. Girls like that are exciting to “dabble” in (sorry ladies, I can’t think of a better term at the moment…), but don’t get emotionally attached for fuck’s sake.
OK, I have to give Alex a pass (for being a legit fighter and starting the best thread on this board, no not this one) but can we please stop with the wimmen problem threads? Christ almighty I never had any goddamn problems like this when I was a young guy. Admittedley being 6’ 3" tall with blue eyes and drop dead handsome did give me a bit of an edge but dammit, lets get it together out there fellas.
Hmmm. Alex, are you being entirely forthwright? It sounds like you still like the girl. Thus the sort of ‘jealousy’ thing at teh gay bar. In my XP, if I broke up with the girl, I am always like ‘whew’ and am over it no prob. If the girl breaks up with me, usually I am still kinda attached. Yaddadamean?
