Well at first I was really liking that Bulshido Kickpo stuff, and the Academy of Bulshido and Mr Allen, and Mr. Marek. But I just ain’t sure what to make of things now!!! I guess I gotta go back to the beginnin’ so ya’ll know what I’m talkin about. OHHHH and my smarty pants boy Jim Bob Bob just told me it’s B-U-S-H-I-D-O K-E-M-P-O. Well…exccccccccuuuuussseee me!! Ya’ll knew what I was sayin!
Anywho, so one day I was watching my programs and my boy Jim Bob Bob came in and started picking up all of my beer cans and making a loud wracket. So I asked him exactly what he thought he was doin. He looked strait at me and said “I am going to recycle them and make some money to go to that Academy of Bushido, I will be saving the planet at the same time.” Well…I just thought it was another thing. I mean he has been comin up with the oddest things lately. Fishsticks ain’t even in the food group, tater tots are all fat, where’s veggies and fruit, the whales are gonna die. That one really got me! I mean we live in Arizona who the heck cares about the whales??? Anywho he came back an hour later with some little paper that explains all about the U.S Academy of Bushido. Well I thought it was really fancy. I figured let him do it, he might become a man and stop hangin out with all those little weirdos that are always talking about the “future of the planet”.
So I took him down there. Mr. Allen was busy with a buch of folks, but he came right over and talked to us. I thought that was really nice. Then he said he would give Jim Bob Bob some free lessons so he could see how he likes it. I thought that was really nice!!! So he went along with it for a couple of weeks. Then I went to get him one time, and Mr. Allen said come in his office and talk about paying for lessons. Well Jim Bob Bob really likes it so I figure why not? Then he tells me how much it costs. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I told Mr. Allen that I was on welfair and I really cain’t afford all that. Then Mr. Allen says “What about child support?”. I explain to him that my ex Jim Bob was in jail for a lllloooonnggg time for bank robbery. Then Jim Bob Bob pipes up and says “you spend more than that on beer, you have money for that!” so I quickly said “Ok go ahead and do it sweety.” He had me over a barrel. I was worried he was gonna start to wonder where I get the money. Uhhhmmmm…it’s an inheritance from my aunt Tilly. But I didn’t think to say that then. 
Anywho we were leaving, and guess who was there??? Mr. Marek! He came over and talked to us a bit and then asked why I wasn’t gonna join up too. I explained that I could only afford my Jim to go and barely at that! So he said that he thought I would be just GREAT at doing that Kempo stuff. He said he could “just tell.” He said so far as money goes don’t even worry…“we can take it out in trade.” Then he winked at me AGAIN. Well…I just blushed beet red! I mean here was this good looking man with all his teeth (yup every one) and he thinks I can do the Kempo thing! Now I was wondering what car he was wanting to trade for as none of them work and I’d better get busy fixin the one he wants. He also told me that my jeans were too tight for Kempo and I should wear something way more comfortable, and winked at me again. So I went home and looked in my closet. I had jeans, tank tops, and 20 pair of boots. So I went over to the store and looked around. I decided skirts was about the best. But not too long or they probably would get in the way. So I got some cute little skirts, and some new tank tops. Then I decided boots probably wouldn’t do, so I got me some of those cute flip flops with those sparkly things on it. The next day I went to the address Mr. M, (I call him that now) gave me. It was a REALLY fancy hotel. The guy standing by the front wasn’t going to let me in at first sayin “We don’t let working girls in here.” But I explained the whole situation and that I was meeting Mr. M for Kempo lessons, then he apologized and let me in. I could hear him laughing thou…I wonder why? Anywho when I got up there it’s the BIGGEST hotel room I ever saw in my life. He told me that the outfit I chose was just perfect! Except that maybe he didn’t like the shoes. Then he had me doing these really high kicks while he watched. He said kick really high like I am kicking for his head. Then he explains to me that it takes most people 2 years to be a black belt, but with his personal lessons, and because I am so talented, that he could make ME a black belt in 6 months! He said that actually he would make a special belt JUST for me. A different color that nobody else had. Then he asked me if I knew stilettos could be a weapon. Well hell, EVERYBODY knows that!! They aint just for skinnin bucks! I had some too before the law men came and got em when they was arrestin Jim Bob. But I figured I wouldn’t tell him that, let him feel like a man and all. Then he said he would have stilettos the next day. So I was pretty happy and all, except I didn’t get that whole kicking thing. Cause I cain’t reach some man’s head if I was gonna kick 'em. So I went the next day. He has these really, really HIGH heels! He says I should put them on, it would be nice. Well I couldn’t hardly walk in em, but it DID make me tall enough to kick a man’s head finally. AND I figured if you are distracting someone with kicks that then you can use them stiletto knives before they notice. That Mr. M. is a geunious!!! I really worked up a sweat, I am not sure from the exericise, or if I just needed a beer real bad. Then he sits on the couch and said “Now you can pay for your lessons.” THAT’S what he wants for payment??? SHOOT FIRE!! A couch rodeo!!! WAAAAHOOOOO!!! I aint been with nobody since Jim Bob and this phillys needed to be rode reeeall bad! Uhmm…he didn’t stay on the full 8 seconds, but he gave a purty good ride anyhow. So, I am having a real good time, Jim Bob Bob is having a real good time and it’s all good, till about 2 days ago. Now My friend Peggy Sue said she does that pielotties thingy and that she goes to the internet and talks with folks all over and they support her and all. So I figure why not? So I am setting up the web account thingy here and tryin to figure out where that bloggo thingy is, but then I had to go to take Jim Bob bob to see his daddy at the prison. He shows his daddy a picture of him and Mr. Allen, and tells him how much he likes it. Then Jim Bob says he is gonna call collect later and for me to be sure to take it. I told him it better be a reeeaally good reason for me to pay all that money. He said trust me it is! So later on he calls. He tells me that he knows Mr. Allen. He said he done time with him. He said that’s how he and his partner got that escaping charge. He said Mr. Allen got arrested the same time. They were sitting in that processing area al together. The law men had to print out Mr. Allen’s criminal history to put in his file. Well the printer ran outta paper and the law man had to go look for some more. Then Jim Bob grabs a paper clip and picks the hand cuff locks on him and his partner. But then the law man comes back and sits at his desk, so they just sit there like nothin’s up. He said the printer kept spittin out paper and they was able to get out the door and it was probably still pritin when they were half way outta town. WELL I SWANY TO JOHN!!! I decided I was gonna tell Mr. M the very next day. Now I didn’t go all into it, but I told him I had reason to believe that Mr. Allen might be a criminal. He told me that EVERY teacher gets a back ground check. So I figured it was just Jim Bob up to his usuall games and he was probably jealous of Mr. M. I mean after all a Doctor, a Kempo guy, A former law man…Jim Bob just cain’t compare. So my friend La Teisha comes over last night. Now La Teisha is a reeaalll smart lady. she’s from Compton, CA, and she teaches over at the college!!! She said she really likes to come by from time to time because it reminds her alot of home and keeps her on the strait and narrow. I guess she means I inspire her like a mother? Anywho she askes wich school. I tell her and she says "yea I think I heard of those cats in back in CA. She tells me that I can find it all out if I go online. I said I don’t know much about that net thing yet. So she goes on and starts looking around. She finds the newspaper articles about other teachers. Nothing about Mr. Allen, but STILL!!! It was REALLY bad stuff. Then guess WHAT??? There is this piture of Mr. M and his WIFE!!! YEA you heard me righ HIS WIFE!!! She’s real purty too! I don’t know why he is messin around with me when he has A WIFE!!!
So you see…I just don’t know WHAT to think about it all now. Besides Jim Bob Bob said some of that “Bushido Kenpo stuff is a bunch of bullshit.” I told him he was NOT too old to get his mouth washed out with soap. So I am gonna have a few more beers and think about all this and I will get back to ya’ll later ok?
Vicki Sue
