To KILL MY ZEN and find my ember of rage!!!

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1

Hi all,

So, your little Spartan/Rafe/Pilgrim has done quite some progress over the last few months: No more excessive drinking, no drugs but music, no more fucking another woman every two days. I am back with my studies, I am at least accomplishing HALF of the things I do, and it has been going fairly well so far.

However, there is one thing I can’t quite understand myself, and that I feel I must do before I can succeed with everything, and that is directly related to MAs, which is why I post it here.

I MUST KILL MY ZEN.

You know, I have become such a rational person that there are few things that can get me passionate about any more. Not that I was unhappy, but from a few years ago, I was all like:

Then, that epoch of emo/burnout/depression, and now, after my recovery, I am all the time like:

“You wanna provoke me? - How uncivilized and infantile.”

“You are better than me @ life? - Well, I am happy for you. Good luck.”

“Something bad happens in the news? - Well, can’t change it anyway.”

“There’s is that book I got to read? - Well, I still have time enough until the exam…”

“You have me in the Kimura? - Okay, okay, I tap out.”

“Go out and conquer the world!!! - No, man, still got to do the laundry…”
…

And so on; it seems like I am either a reincarnation of t3h Buddha by now,
or simply bored, and I guess I am not the only one.

What can I do to summon that black-hearted bastard that I was back from the the netherworld? - That one that moonlighted as a bouncer at impressive 5’7’’ and 59 kg, that one was able to do a month’s work in a night and still get the best grades, and that NEVER EVER gave up?

'Cause I have been looking for that person for quite some time now, but I can’t find him any more.

And I will very well need that doberman part of my personality, because I got a few events coming along that I better go for at 110%, or my life will suck forevermore. - And these 110% is what I am looking for.
Yet, no matter what the pressure, no matter what I am confronted with, I am always calm, and easy, and a bit procrastinating as well.

(In D&D terms, I am a 19th -level priest of Boccob, on the border of getting epic.)

So, in short, HOW DO KILL ZEN and get into RAGE RAGE SMASH SMASH KILL mode?

Much obliged,

Rafe

2

Oh just grow up you little twat.

3

HOW DO?!

Beard and crotch hair came, but still watched He-Man every Saturday morning.:icon_boun

4

Honestly? Find something to do with your spare time that involves helping other people.

5

Yeah, I’m asking in earnest. Thanks! :slight_smile:

Been a volunteer social worker for twelve years now.
Considered one of the best out there, actually.

  • You see my dilemma?
6

On one hand, I’m tempted to Trollshido this.

On the other hand, I’m tempted to respond seriously.

L3 posters, what would you have me do?

7

The solution is always simple.
Japanese twins.

8

[quote=DerAuslander108;2364509]On one hand, I’m tempted to Trollshido this.

On the other hand, I’m tempted to respond seriously.

L3 posters, what would you have me do?[/quote]

Explain to him that what he seeks is in the front of the wrong line at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

9

From what I understand, the best way to gain contempt for humanity is to work at a fast food restaurant.
I suggest putting in a resume at the local McDonalds.

10

I am sorry if I sound too spacy this time, but I’m serious. I just didn’t want to come over as (even more) melodramatic.

I am a very balanced person at the bottom of my heart; I seldomly get upset about stuff, I take most things as they come, and I am usually not mad at people of having different opinions than me. - Which is good, because it lets you kind of distance yourself from most shit that happens out there, and has usually helped me to show some guts in MAs.

I am just not an angry or aggressive person, and it kind of frustrates me to see people that IMO are retards - you know, people that are arrogant, or cruel, or liars, or simply dumber than me - achieve more just because they are more aggressive. I would like to learn to use a bit of that aggressivity for myself, frankly.

It’s not about me lacking the ability to care; it’s about me lacking the ability to get emotional and passionate about most things.

  • Which might sound deeply silly, but is something that got me thinking lately.
11

Read World War Z, and prepare yourself for the coming onslaught.
Or Japanese twins. Personally I’d go with the twins.

12

Thank you for belittling my religion.

I think you’re confusing complacency or apathy for Zen.

13

Huh…

Should we start handing out “Amateur Buddhist” tags now?

Can I qualify for a “Buddhist Curious” tag?

14

[quote=jnp;2364540]Thank you for belittling my religion.

I think you’re confusing complacency or apathy for Zen.[/quote]

The only reason I haven’t Trollshido’d this is that I’m half-tempted to use it as learning experience. Unfortunately, I’m at work right now so I don’t have the time.

15

[quote=Styygens;2364546]Huh…

Should we start handing out “Amateur Buddhist” tags now?

Can I qualify for a “Buddhist Curious” tag?[/quote]

You didn’t grow out of that after college?

16

Every once in a while, he still misappropriates prayer beads.

17

[quote=Pilgrim;2364479]Yeah, I’m asking in earnest. Thanks! :slight_smile:

Been a volunteer social worker for twelve years now.
Considered one of the best out there, actually.

  • You see my dilemma?[/quote]

In that case, I recommend therapy or marriage.

18

I’m always baffled by people that can’t get motivated by hate. I mean there are just SO many things to hate. Seriously just think about how many pointless reasons people find to discriminate again each other. Politics, religion, sexual orientation, skin color, gender, etc… and how much easier life would be if everyone would just live and let live with in good reason.

How the fuck is that NOT frustrating!? God fucking damn it I need a beer…

19

A sure bet at triggering rage for me, is to ride my bike in rush hour city traffic. I could slaughter a baby panda in a zen garden with my bare hands.

20

gamma radiation. lots of it. Totally worked for Bruce Banner, Jennifer Walters, Leonard Samson… i can keep going…