The Pie Siren- CURSE HER!

She sold me a pie again. Damnit. I cannot let this continue!
Sorry, the very appealing young lady who works two mornings and one evening a week at my local dairy has once again used her wiles to sell me a pie.
This must stop! From now on it will take more than a pretty face and a pair of tight jeans to sell me a pie at three bucks fifty!

So I have committed her evil pie selling trickery to rhyming form in order to dispel her influence:

ODE TO THE PIE SIREN

Behind the counter she stands and waits,
twiddling with those dark brown plaits,
waiting to sell me a a pie of vege’s and curry,
slowing me down when I’m in the morning hurry,

How dare she use her feminine appeal,
to make me buy pies for my morning meal,
its all a plot to make me pack on another pound,
so that when I walk I shake the ground,

Tall and slender and pretty as well,
dammit! The pie selling fiend must go to hell!
“Would you like a pie with your paper?”
asks she on her selling caper,

“No thank you” says I wanting to run a mile,
but my defiance cannot withstand that smile,
“it’s full of curry and vege’s in cut up little bits”
I hear little as I am focussed on her … shoes.

“Really… I must not buy a pie” I say in last resort,
“I’m sorry” says she, the sad face a perfect retort,
“Oh okay then… if it means that much to you I will”
her face lights up as if this is some great thrill,

But never again will I fall for the pie siren’s charms!
next time with a Burqa I shall go armed!
A perfect figure and eyes in which one could drown,
will do nothing to offset my vexed big frown,

Just because her tops have been through the dryer too often,
my non pie buying stance will not soften!
Keep your pies with their curried goodness my sweet,
I shall start going to Mr Patel’s four square down the street!

Anyone else here being manipulated and influenced by attractive women folk using their cunning feminine wiles to achieve their evil ends?

Why do I ask? Probably most of us

Surprisingly seldom.

Also, you should write that on some fancy paper and give it to her.

If I didn’t know that you were English before:

“waiting to sell me a a pie of vege’s and curry,
slowing me down when I’m in the morning hurry,”

I fuckin do now. You eat that shit in the morning? I don’t think the pie siren is entirely responsible for your poor judgment.

I feel like I should be asking for pics, yet I can’t quite decide whether to ask for pie pics or siren pics…

I mean, $3.50… that must be quite a pie…

I thought this thread was going to be about peach cobbler.

I am deeply disappointed.

Somebody needs to post pictures of naked girls feeding each other pie right now in order to make amends.

It cannot be meat pie.

And if somebody posts a pic of a “hair-pie” I’m going to find them and skullfuck them.

But lovingly.

Peach cobbler FTW.

Or apple cinnamon.

[quote=JP;2188322]If I didn’t know that you were English before:

“waiting to sell me a a pie of vege’s and curry,
slowing me down when I’m in the morning hurry,”

I fuckin do now…[/quote]

Wrong on this point. I’m not English.

But right on this point:

“You eat that shit in the morning? I don’t think the pie siren is entirely responsible for your poor judgment”

:pancakebu

[quote=sochin101;2188334]
I mean, $3.50… that must be quite a pie…[/quote]

Not really. But dont forget two factors:
A). The exchange rate. I’m in a different place to you
B). Her marketing scheme. Curse her evil feminine wiles.

But no longer. I am now immune to her. She tried it again today. I stood fast and did not purchase a pie despite her flirtatious and highly appealing ways.
So she went to her backup plan and sold me a spinach feta roll.

Pics of pies or didnt happen

You mean like (un)dressed-to-kill young girls who make intriguing offers because they want to skip the line into the nightclub? Or the ones making explicit offers in exchange for not getting carded? The high-class professional ladies who keep business running smoothly by performing gratuity-offers before they go in to find their clients? Those who are stagetteering and want some group-fun? All of whom seem to know where privacy is, paradoxically, to be had in such crowded environs?

That sort of thing?

Why do you ask?

Fuck. I am really sorry about that.

That’s the kind of thing that would earn me a very deserved punch in the face.

[quote=JP;2188942]Fuck. I am really sorry about that.

That’s the kind of thing that would earn me a very deserved punch in the face.[/quote]

Relax bro. Im used to it. People tend to assume that people who speak english and are not american are either english or australian.

No big

[quote=Vieux Normand;2188941]You mean like (un)dressed-to-kill young girls who make intriguing offers because they want to skip the line into the nightclub? Or the ones making explicit offers in exchange for not getting carded? The high-class professional ladies who keep business running smoothly by performing gratuity-offers before they go in to find their clients? Those who are stagetteering and want some group-fun? All of whom seem to know where privacy is, paradoxically, to be had in such crowded environs?

That sort of thing?

Why do you ask?[/quote]

Um… thats not what I meant. But I can see that it is an appropriate analogy. Same thing, just not pie related.

There are other pie people there. Not only the pie siren. They also employ a pie nazi. An evil woman in her late 40’s who threatens and bullies people into pie purchase and a fellow who insists on telling you about his brother in laws business and wont let you buy your paper until you agree to buy a pie as well.

I nearly asked the pie siren out, actually. One of my best buds, Claire, suggested that I do so. I got psyched up and went down there one day when she was usually on. But alas. SHe wasnt there. The pie nazi was.

Hang on. I suddenly think I have an article to write.

Yes. Yes. I do.

[quote=colonelpong2;2188694]Not really. But dont forget two factors:
A). The exchange rate. I’m in a different place to you[/quote] I know. I’m not JP :slight_smile:
I googled “what can I get for $3.50 in New Zealand”, and the answer came back as Otago.

Fuck. I am really sorry about that.

That’s the kind of thing that would earn me a very deserved punch in the face.

We’d have Pong. He’s cool. Plus, NZers are generally cool, so he’s cool squared.

[quote=colonelpong2;2190888]
I nearly asked the pie siren out, actually. One of my best buds, Claire, suggested that I do so. I got psyched up and went down there one day when she was usually on. But alas. SHe wasnt there. The pie nazi was.

Hang on. I suddenly think I have an article to write.

Yes. Yes. I do.[/quote]

As stated above, you should give her your poem. It will work wonders.

If you wish to curb your spending,
And yonder pie girl’s charms to beat,
You must make a great concession,
And give the wife your morning meat.

[quote=sochin101;2190892]
We’d have Pong. He’s cool. Plus, NZers are generally cool, so he’s cool squared.[/quote]

Since Australians like to pretend NZers are Australians, does that make Australians cool too? Please say yes, I’m so desperate to please the motherland my ancestors were exiled from!

Oh yeah, Pong, get her number. Either she’s using you, likes you, or both. Probably the former but WHO DARES WINS!!!

[quote=socratic;2190926]Since Australians like to pretend NZers are Australians, does that make Australians cool too? Please say yes, I’m so desperate to please the motherland my ancestors were exiled from!
[/quote]
Well, as you possibly know, I’m very fond of Australia and certain Australians*, so I already think that many Australians are cool.

They somehow survive to adulthood in your continent-sized Danger Room, they excel at sports (not just the ones they’ve made up, either) and often have this self-effacing bloody-minded awesomeness that simply boggles my mind.

Australia is cool. Australians are cool. Oh, not the Snowtown guys.
We drove past there, and someone told us the story. Grisly.

*Ricky Ponting. I <3 him. I also desire Hugh Jackman like no man should.

Bwaahhahahaa!!! Having been to otago, I must concur that I would not pay more than $3.50 for it…

Pies in NZ are fantastic. I have never seen such a wide and varied selection of pie flavours as when I was last there, and all for less than 2 quid, and available at any store. NZers like their pies!