[quote=Heat Miser;2288661]Bill Brasky?!
Why, I once saw him scissor-kick Angela Lansbury![/quote]
Bill Brasky is so tough his penis has a toenail.
I you are in the mood for decent laughter/projectile vomiting you can go back to the blog and read the rebuttal to the previous article on this site. I love the combination of intentional misquoting and indignity.
A cliff’s notes of that would be great since my head still hurts from going through the little I did just to write this column.
I’m going to go visit my Grandmother…
[quote=Phrost;2288833]The one where they glowed yellow and screamed? That was awesome.
On that note, may I present to you: Buttlord GT.[/quote]
Criminy, it’s been a dog’s age since I read that parody! I had completely forgotten it even existed. Total blast from the Intertube past, I was a freshman in college when I first read that.
At the time I was also an evangelical Christian and a practitioner of teh d34dly point-sparring Kung Fu, and believed that submission grappling and mixed martial arts were vulgar and dumb and not “real fighting.” Funny how things change.
Personally I think it would add a very interesting dimension to mma if you were able to ambush the opponent before a match… But all in all he needs to lay off the acid-laced ganja.
Did you guys read the thing about him challenging Kimbo Slice to fight ? I’ll sum it up.
“I challenge Kimbo Slice to fight. Wait. No I don’t. Isn’t that a funny joke guys ?”
That would turn it into the “Hardcore” division of the WWE. Remember that shit? You could attack someone anywhere, and if you pinned them you were the new “Hardcore” division champ. Some hilarious story lines from that one.
Phrost, you bastard, I’ve been reading Martial Development Blog for days now. It makes my head throb. I saw a 20 post discussion about how IMA guys hit “ridiculously hard” wherein the OP of that thesis went on to state that all the IMA practitioners he knows don’t hit anything hard, soft, or human. Then another guy who thinks he’s a First Edition Monk declared that he didn’t think he “could bring [himself] to do to a human being what [he] could do to a tree or a lamp post.”
What do you even say to something like that? Where do you start?
Note to self: Change username to “First Edition Monk.”
We get folks like that alot in Singapore. I usually ask them how much they paid for the fine for damage to public property. To which they usually reply, “It just shook alot”. LOL.
Those poor trees and lampposts! What kind of sick bastard would inflict such trauma upon a maple sapling?!
<sob>
That was my first thought too. “You mean absolutely nothing?”
MAD forum - sweet Jeezus titty fucking Christ!..
They remind me of legs on a YT classic ring disasters compilation - insofar they rarely should be allowed an even break.
I would go there and troll, but it would be just way too easy… like shooting fist in a barrel, when the barrel is filled with liquid oxgen, the fish are dead anyway and you have a 50 cal MG with incendiary rounds at your disposal.
Twats.
Been a while since I posted here. What a better way to come back than by bumping a thread that died two months ago? A jackass, I certainly am.
Just to prove that, despite what my posts may indicate, I am not actually retarded, I’ll offer rebuttals to this asshole’s “Unwritten Rules of MMA”:
1.) You can’t do this on the SOOPER DEADLY STREETZ either, unless you want your porky, dorky ass to get raped in jail for the next 20 years.
2.) Because finding a local hitman is as easy as finding a self proclaimed martial arts expert.
3.) You can. The reason no one actually does it is because there’s a 0% chance of that working.
4.) See rebuttal to rule #1.
5.) And who the fuck do you plan on bribing in a street fight?
6.) Because normal people just walk around with ninja stars in their socks. At least I do.
7.) Wait, you mean all I have to do on the SOOPER DEADLY STREETZ is call time out? I guess that means I can take the ninja stars out of my socks now. Those things fucking hurt.
8.) The first question the drunk who grabbed my girlfriend’s ass at a frat party last week asked me when I confronted him was “How much do you weigh?”. Me being the street savvy badass that I am, I knew enough to say “150 lbs, sir” instead of 185.
9.) First of all, aren’t there supposed to be no rules in a street fight? So what rules can your opponent be changing if there are none? Let’s ignore this and assume “rules of engagement” means “change the way your opponent is attacking you”. Which happens all the time in MMA. And boxing. And every other fucking fight in the God damn universe.
Forget my grandma, I need to figure out what my mom looks like after reading this.
How Do Armbar The Martial Development Blog
Just out of curiosity, but since everyones different I expect to have varying results… How much weight have you lost and/or gained while doing yoga?
But if comparing your strip-mall karate to Lyoto Machida’s were a character in a shounen anime, this blog post is a Super Saiyin 3 Fusion with the Kyuubi while going Bankai after eating the Baka-Baka fruit:
Don’t forget to include the Shin Mibu eyes in there, as well.
7.) Wait, you mean all I have to do on the SOOPER DEADLY STREETZ is call time out? I guess that means I can take the ninja stars out of my socks now. Those things fucking hurt.
See? That’s why the rules were written.
This is just sad. This guy didn’t even remember to look up Aldo on Wikipedia. Anybody who looks there will see that our “crane kick masta” is a well-versed MT fighter. The guy didn’t even know that there was no “crane kick” in karate. This makes me wonder if he has anything to do with the MA in the first place.