Properly capitalised posts are The God-Emperor, allcaps are LAVATORR, except for one extra tasty surprise
The God-Emperor: LAVATORR:
Made out of: Man-Worm hybrid LAVA YOU DUMB CUNTS
Age: Just coming into his wormy powers. OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW
However, has memories from the BETTER, YOUNG ENOUGH
earliest mcdojo.com, MAP, etcetera TO SMASH YOUR HOUSE
Color: Sienna Ibn-Al Faud Trickytrickytrickytricky LAVA GODAMNIT
Gives: The apple. Yknow, metaphorically. FLAMING DESTRUCTION
Style: (what he says) Bunkai oriented, COUPLE OF MONTHS OF BJJ
a mix of hand strikes that are anything
but boxing and grappling because
old okinawan styles were heavy in it
(what he actually does) Terrible thrashing
of his segmented body which crushes all
in it’s wake. He may claim this was learned
while crosstraining silat. He is lying.
Signature moves: (what he says) shuto to the neck with HURLING LAVA BOLTS,
proper trapping derived from reverse GI CHOKE IS COMING
punching, an armbar where his huge, ALONG PRETTY GOOD
pulsing body is nowhere near the shoulder of his opponent,
because BJJ is not the only style that has this
Special Abilities: Can see/is making the future I DUNNO, I MEAN, I’M
OLNLY MADE OUT
OF LAVA HERE
Pasts: It’s the future that matters. LONG CONVOLUTED
STORY WHERE “MAN” IS
EVERY FIFTH WORD
If you get to
know him he’s: a complete cock, but totally dedicated to ACTUALLY A PRETTY
his ideal. COOL (LOL), MEAT-
AND POTATOES
KINDA GUY
Hates: Water. People whose calls for VAGINA JEWS, ASSHOLE
olnly plant the seed of more COCKS. PROFFESORS.
You.
Orientation: I’M A FUCKING GIANT WORM HERE LAVATORR train
stops for the la-dies
Goal: To teach you not to be such fucking KILLING THE DAMN
douchedrinkers. This makes him the HOOKNOSES. THIS
harsher of the two, because the taught MAKES HIM THE
may envy the failed and dead. HARSHER OF THE TWO
AS HE HAS NEVER MET
ONE AND IS THUS
LIKELY TO KILL
PUERTO RICANS BY
MISTAKE