The Bloodninja's adventure's in Cybersex.

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
1

I got these sent to me by a mate, they’re transcripts of an individual named Bloodninja, Trolling cybersex IM.

I’ll add more when I get them!

I thought this was comedy gold!!

Enjoy:-

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey…
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fck of the
Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don’t fck with me *****, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don’t know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i’m a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it’s just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn’t get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

2

That is some funny shit there. Is ther any more?

3

I’ll post more, as and when I get them!

4

google found a bunch of them.

5

http://www.bloodninja.org/

I love BloodNinja

For other quotes, check out bash.org

6

For the sake of being complete:-

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I’m ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em… Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I’m gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

7

hehehe, old but funny stuff. I like the wizard hat and robe bit

8

You can’t hurry good pizza…

Bloodninja always classic.

9

Wow, I never even thought of trolling cybersex. New possibilities are unfolding for me…

10

This is comedy gold!

11

bash.org is truly one of the finest things the Internet has to offer.

12

For that comment, you’re awesome.

13

um jing merchant… may we ask exactly how you came to be perusing the site in question?

14

Bash is down right now, but once it’s back up, check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

15

…What are you saying Pong? Don’t be coy! (Your mother wasn’t.) Are you saying that Teh Jing has been perusing cybersex IM?? Because it just ISN’T TRUE!!! Not all!!! No sir…

Anyway, more lulz :---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bloodninja : Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate : K, but don’t tell anybody :wink:
DirtyKate : Who are you?
Bloodninja : I’ve got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja : And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John’s in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate : You sound sexy… I bet you want me in the back of your car…
Bloodninja : Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John’s and make an order
DirtyKate : Haha! OK
DirtyKate : Hello! I’d like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja : Well, first they would say, “Hello, this is Papa John’s, how may I help you”, then they tell you the specials, and then :you would make your order. So that’s an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate : I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja : Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate : Umm…Yes
DirtyKate : So you’re bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I’m home alone… and I think I’ll take a shower…
Bloodninja : Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I’ll drive to your house.

pause**
DirtyKate :I’m almost finished with my shower… Hurry up!
Bloodninja : You can’t hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja : I’m on my way now though

pause**
DirtyKate : So you’re at my front door now.
Bloodninja : How did you know?
Bloodninja : I knock but you can’t hear me cause you’re in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on :your coffee table.
Bloodninja : Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I’m as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate : ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I’m all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja : So you’re still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate : Yeah, I’m wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja : I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey :cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in :seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door…
DirtyKate : What the fuck?
DirtyKate : You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate : Fuck

Bloodninja : I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca : mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja : I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca : Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja : I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca : Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja : Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja : I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O’ Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca : you like that?
Bloodninja : I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca : Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja : get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca : Peanuts?
Bloodninja : Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca : What are you talking about?
Bloodninja : I’m spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca : This is stupid.
Bloodninja : Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja : Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja : Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca : /ignore
Bloodninja : Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja : We get on harleys and ride into the sunset

sweet17 : Hi
Bloodninja : hello
Bloodninja : who is this?
sweet17 : just a someone?
Bloodninja : A someone I know?
sweet17 : nope
Bloodninja : Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17 : well sorrrrrry
sweet17 : I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja : why?
sweet17 : nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja : Hey wait a minute
sweet17 : yes?
Bloodninja : look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17 : paranoid?
Bloodninja : yes
sweet17 : of what?
sweet17 : me?
Bloodninja : No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17 : LOL
Bloodninja : Don’t fucking laugh at me!
Bloodninja : This shit is serious!
sweet17 : What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja : The cops.
sweet17 : gimme a fucking break
Bloodninja : I’m serious.
sweet17 : I don’t get it
Bloodninja : The cops are after me.
sweet17 : For what?
Bloodninja : I’m wanted in three states
sweet17 : For???
Bloodninja : It’s kindof embarrasing.
Bloodninja : I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja : Hello?
sweet17 : You are fucking sick.
Bloodninja : Send me your picture.
sweet17 : why?
Bloodninja : so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17 : One of what?
Bloodninja : The cops.
sweet17 : I’m not a cop i told you
Bloodninja : Then send me your picture.
sweet17 : hold on
Bloodninja : Hurry up.
Bloodninja : Are you there?
Bloodninja : Fuck you, cop!
sweet17 : Hey sorry
sweet17 : I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja : I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja : When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja : Weren’t you!?
sweet17 : thats not it
Bloodninja : Then what?
sweet17 : I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
Bloodninja : Most cops aren’t
sweet17 : IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!
Bloodninja : Then send me the picture.
sweet17 : fine. What’s your e-mail?
Bloodninja : Just send it through here.
sweet17 : alright PIC
sweet17 : Did you get it?
Bloodninja : Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17 : That was me back in may
sweet17 : I’ve lost weight since then.
Bloodninja : I hope so
sweet17 : what?!?
sweet17 : that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja : Did it?
sweet17 : Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja : Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17 : yes
Bloodninja : Alright let me find it.
sweet17 : kks
Bloodninja : Okay here it is. PIC
sweet17 : this isn’t you.
Bloodninja : I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17 : You don’t look like that.
Bloodninja : How the hell do you know?
sweet17 : cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja : The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja : I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17 : You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja : Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy…
Bloodninja : Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17 : Go fuck yourself
Bloodninja : I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja : Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17 : I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17 : You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17 : you hurt me.
Bloodninja : And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17 : I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja : Why would I do that?
sweet17 : I can’t believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja : I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap…
sweet17 : FUCK YOU!!!
Bloodninja : You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17 : You’re a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17 : I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17 : and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
Bloodninja : Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17 : No you aren’t
Bloodninja : You’re right. I’m not.
Bloodninja : HAARRRRR!
sweet17 : I’m done with you
Bloodninja : Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17 : I’m putting you on ignore
Bloodninja : Wait a sec
Bloodninja : We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja : Wanna start over?
sweet17 : No
Bloodninja : I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17 : You’ll what?
Bloodninja : You heard me.
Bloodninja : I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17 : I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja : Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17 : I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja : Well I’m not like most men.
Bloodninja : I get excited in different ways.
sweet17 : Like what?
Bloodninja : Do you really wanna know?
sweet17 : I don’t know
Bloodninja : You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17 : I’m afraid to
Bloodninja : Why?
sweet17 : cause
Bloodninja : cause why?
sweet17 : well lets see
sweet17 : you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17 : doesn’t that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja : Nope
sweet17 : well its strange to me
Bloodninja : Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17 : I didn’t say that
Bloodninja : So is that a yes?
sweet17 : I guess so.
Bloodninja : Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja : Are you willing?
sweet17 : What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja : I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17 : ???
Bloodninja : When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
Bloodninja : ok?
Bloodninja : Hello?
sweet17 : You can’t be serious
Bloodninja : Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja : It’s my fantasy.
sweet17 : this is retarded
Bloodninja : Do you want it or not?
sweet17 : Yes I want it.
Bloodninja : Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17 : sure
Bloodninja : Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja : I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja : You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja : I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja : I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17 : mmmm yeah
Bloodninja : uh oh …going limp.
sweet17 : Har
Bloodninja : You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja : Your picture was really bad.
sweet17 : HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja : Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja : I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja : Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja : I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17 : mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja : I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder
Bloodninja : going limp
sweet17 : HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja : Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja : You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja : going limp
sweet17 : this is stupid
Bloodninja : …still limp
Bloodninja : Do it!
sweet17 : HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja : I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Bloodninja : I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja : I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17 : WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja : They stink really bad.
sweet17 : OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja : I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja : I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja : I ram it up your ass.
sweet17 : YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Bloodninja : Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja : And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
Bloodninja : I kick you in the face!
sweet17 : FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Bloodninja : The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
Bloodninja : Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja : …going limp again.
Bloodninja : Hello?
Bloodninja : Say it!
Bloodninja : HAARRRRRR!!!

16

HAARRRRRR!!!

17

The rhinocerous is the best one.

18

This shit is older than John McCain.