Stories From Infinity Stones - I Bought A McDojo

On the 18th of December, 2020, I was hanging out with my BJJ instructor after class with a couple of beverages under my belt and we were discussing the current ownership of the gym. Drunkenly I emailed myself the following:

Yo - buy Greenslopes

The discussion was based primarily around the then owner and his practices and my distaste for him as a person, an owner, and my suspicions that he was a fake BJJ practitioner. I’d been gathering evidence on the man regarding his lack of qualifications for a little while until this point and had reached a point where I was close to walking away from the gym.

I’ll probably do a more in-depth analysis of the man in the future because I would like some assistance in confirming, not gathering, but confirming my evidence in a MABS-like (do we still have these) investigation. It is difficult for me to confirm it due to him knowing who I am.

Anyway, the basic rundown of the man was that he was apparently a blue belt in BJJ and a white rope in Capoeira. Later I found out that he also apparently held a “black belt” in a school of “Ju Jitsu” that has its own issues, but I won’t go into that in this thread.

My suspicions were raised when, on a Saturday afternoon a month or so prior, this guy asked the three of us there at the time, “what is the difference between judo and jiu jitsu?”

A blue belt would know this distinction, guaranteed.

The other two in attendance were the man’s recent employee instructors. He’d actually replaced me with them as instructor for the kids classes, and there was an element of sycophantism to both of their flailing answers, agreeing and “of course”-ing to everything the man said after his question.

It was clear they needed education and I, being highly educated in this arena for I am a true student of the game, decided to educate.

I chalked that one up to maybe having an interest in the two styles and wanting different opinions. I couldn’t chalk the next one up to anything but ignorance of the martial art he purported to have mat hours in the thousands.

“What do you think of is MMA?” oh yeah, you gotta do this with a strong Peruvian accent, as he was from Peru.

I said, “Mixed Martial Arts, the blending of the three ranges of fighting, stand up striking, clinch grappling and takedowns, and ground game.”

His reply was the kicker, “so I look like this, MMA is just meeksing the martial art, so meeksing karate and capoeira is MMA.”

The sycophantic parrots in the corner, “oh yes, yes, that’s also it, that is what it is.”

“Hmmm, not really, ay. It’s a specific term for the sport these days, you can’t really call something MMA when it isn’t related to the sport, in my opinion.”

He argued that it was mixing the martial arts and therefore Mixing Martial Arts and therefore MMA, but we’ve all heard these arguments before.

I was suss on the cunt from then on. Little things pissed me off. For starters, he never trained with us. We all know the jokes about Blue Belts disappearing, but if you own a gym, why wouldn’t you train?

You’re saving money each month by getting free tuition!

I was liked and respected by the parents as the kids’ classes I did take were well taught and disciplined, so they were approaching me more and more often about the state of instruction since he’d taken over.

Some of the new instructors he’d bring in were okay, good instruction, legit rank, and provided solid discipline, but the problem was there was no consistency, it all felt thrown together. A new instructor every second week, or at least it felt like it. Even great instructors need some time to settle in to learn individual behaviours.

I had inside information about the club too, the Franchise HQ owned this particular club before they sold it to this man and had employed me as their digital marketing consultant. While with HQ I had begun increasing the membership numbers steadily despite a limited budget. The first month this guy took over, he stopped spending on the advertising that I was doing through Google which halted the measurable increase in members.

According to him he was going to be doing Facebook advertising. If you own a gym, you probably already know Facebook Advertising is like riding a bike without the chain attached to the pedals. Feels like you’re going a mile a minute, but really you’re just chafing your balls. Lots of enquiry, no follow through. What I’m saying is that Facebook sucks dick, at least where I am for putting on new members.

And when you’re not putting on new members, natural attrition takes its course.

So the kids classes level of instruction was in decline, new member acquisition was on the decline, member numbers were in decline, and member sentiment about the gym’s ownership was on the decline as the guy always had this fake, “heyyy guys, good to see you” before fucking off and never training.

The final nail in the coffin for me was when he suggested a new timetable with three very specific changes.

  1. Due to his White Rope in Capoeira (apparently black belt equivalent) he would be replacing Thursday night Open Mat with “Capoeira MMA” class.
  2. Saturday’s Open Mat from 11:10am-1pm would be amended to be 11:10am-12pm. How come? Because from 12pm he was going to open the facility to “Kid’s Birthday Parties”.
  3. Members who would like to try out the Capoeira classes were able to access a HUGE 20% off the Capoeira class fee.

I told my instructor and the Franchise I would walk if the business posted that we provided “Capoeira MMA” and “Kids Birthday Parties”. In my email to them I specifically stated:

Fortunately they agreed with me and a response was put together by my instructor in a much more delicate and diplomatic tone than I could muster that suggested that the Franchise had done the hard yards to shake the negativity of the McDojo label by providing high quality instruction that allowed us to not only compete but win at the highest levels of competition in the country and that these “additions” were not in keeping with our brand.

It was during this time that I discovered his other martial arts business and went online spelunking. As mentioned before, though, that is for another thread. It is only relevant because it increased my disdain for this individual.

It was nearing the end of the year and I’d had enough, I was entirely dissatisfied with how the place was being run, my digital marketing advice was being ignored, he was trying to get out of his payment obligations to Google which jeopardised the entire organisation’s ability to advertise on the platform, and the more I learned about him and what he was doing, the shadier he became.

So when the discussion with my instructor took place, I purged everything I knew and received a like minded response. In fact, he was looking to obtain the Franchise through HQ, having been an original member over 10 years ago and having a good relationship with the Directors.

I offered my full support and said, with no pressure to take up the offer, that I would gladly offer services as a partner, even a minor shareholder, just to show my support.

Earlier in the year we had both individually been offered the club before this douche bought in, but having just got out of the lockdown, me with a freshly minted pregnant missus and a previously full time job now at 60% capacity, the time it wasn’t prime.

I did, however, get the Franchise Agreement, and me with my amateur legal and contract knowledge and interest had gone through it with a fine tooth comb, so I knew that there were many, many breaches that could be capitalised on by way of getting rid of the current owner.

Armed with this knowledge, I mentioned to my instructor (his name is Alex, by the way, I’ll call him that from now on cause saying “my instructor” all the time is tiring) that I could easily point out the breaches to the Directors and we could easily wrangle the club from his grip.

Two days later Alex called me and said he had thought about it and was convinced that together we could make something of this club, and said he wanted nothing less than for me to be a 50/50 partner.

Turns out the Directors were already on board as the guy had resided over a massive nose dive of revenue since he had taken over and there’s one thing that Directors do not like when operating a business, and that is seeing declining revenue.

Furthermore, the GUY HIMSELF wanted out, as he was now forking out money for expenses while the Franchise was limping along haemorrhaging members and the revenue simply not being enough to cover the debts he was accumulating.

I won’t go into too much detail here about the process of obtaining the club, it got a little messy with what I consider highly dishonest business practices bordering on fraudulent, if not flat out fraudulent (and I fucking DARE him to say something), but ultimately we now own it.

I have provided a graph of the revenue since the club has been recording revenue in this system around September 2020 (disregard the current month, this graph was created on the 5th). The previous guy literally took over at the start of the graph.

Anyway, the club is in an area of Brisbane that is gentrifying, but still has some character. It’s the kind of place that, when I moved here almost 10 years ago, I wandered around during the day and wondered what the fuck people were on about when they gave that look like “yikes”. That is until you go into the public toilets and the UV lights are on. Really pissed me off because I needed my heroin fix.


Anyway, I have already encountered some funny martial arts academy things, anecdotes about students, stories about how we got here, and shit that goes on around the place, figured I’d might drop it in a thread here for your perusal rather than keep starting threads with new shit when it relates to the same place.

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Looking forward to hearing more about the former owner, your progress and if you were really kidding about your heroin fix.

Congratulations on the baby

Name it after me as my birthday is 18th of December

Did he even know what the terms mean in Japanese?

I think this statement, plus some of your other details, suggests the douche is maybe a JJJ black belt masquerading as a BJJ guy by claiming to have the least reputable rank with some meat to it, and probably has done little to no rolling. Sounds like he was just there for the profit off your back.

It would not be difficult to run a McDojo semi-successfully as long as you occasionally bring in skilled people, it makes the place seem legit to outsiders, but let’s face it anybody with even some significant white belt time is gonna know the basic difference between do and jutsu, especially in fucking 2021.

Kiddie birthdays… Fuck that.

You’re kinda right about the black belt in JJJ and just looking to make a profit of our backs, but it gets worse. Oh so, so much worse.

Aren’t you an alcoholic? Should you be drinking? Seriously…

Or is that a sex addict? Or was it both?

Thanks for your concern. I still have my issues with drinking too much beer when I have them, but not in a way that affects my life like it did when I had all those problems all those years ago. A few years ago, after being sober for three and a half years, I took it back up. Some would say in a big way. I am part of that some.

I learnt heaps from AA, but I’d done a “geographical” as they call it and moved to a new city, with a new life, new career path, and a social circle literally designed and developed through BJJ and MMA. I was in the prime of my life and kicking goals in every way.

There were a few negative things that happened that I imagine were a part of my returning to drink, but for the most part it was just that I was doing really well in life and it is part of our culture. I had a couple of years of struggles with it when a few of those negative things occurred, an ex had an abortion after getting my hopes up that we’d have it, work becoming a toxic environment, almost dying through throat infection, legal issues, family and friends dying, realising that my BJJ head coach was toxic and psychologically damaging me, getting into another toxic relationship, that kind of thing.

During that time, though, I experimented with types of drink as a friend pointed out to me that I just drank too fast and when I meditated on that, I realised I didn’t like the beers that I was buying so would drink them fast, and I couldn’t do anything sugary as my heartburn the next day was atrocious. The more beers I tried, the quicker it became obvious that ales and heavy wheat beers didn’t agree with me, both in taste and in drunkenness - blackouts abounded.

I discovered I’m a fairly straight forward bro, I like lager, I can drink that all day and night and for the most part I can gauge my level of drunkenness during so can pull back when needed. I have one session a week, maaaaybe two, other than that I don’t drink cause I am training. I definitely drink too many beers during those sessions, but even these I’ve managed to wrangle back in the last year or two.

It was a combination of counselling and removing myself from toxicity that allowed me to evaluate where I was at in life and what I wanted to achieve. While all the negative stuff was going on, I was still advancing quickly and strongly in my career and becoming somewhat of an authority in my area of expertise. Worked hard, played hard, that sort of thing. The evaluation came back to my plan I’d had for years, save up, buy a house, get my BJJ rank up and open a gym somewhere.

Life obviously happens so the line is never straight from A to B, but the sights were set.

I purposely stopped looking for girls that were hot because I realised that the hot ones that I attracted, with my image, were damaged as fuck and were likely to damage me. Unfortunately this meant that I placed too much emphasis on not being physically attracted and who could chill out with a joint and watch a movie without issue. I found myself in a relationship with someone who I didn’t find aesthetically pleasing and who, in the end, was a slovenly couch slug who gaslighted the fuck out of me, accused me of shit I didn’t do while breaking my trust and going through my phone searching for evidence that simply wasn’t there.

In November 2019 I came home one Friday night to find she’d taken all her shit plus the dog and disappeared. I fucking miss that dog.

Anyway, I hit up my counsellor again because I didn’t want to spiral out of control and 5 months later I met the woman of my dreams just before lockdown hit. We spent every hour of every day together for months and decided we wanted a baby. On the 28th of February, 2021, my partner gave birth to my son, Oskar!

Also, the DSM rejected sex addiction as a legitimate disorder this year. Turns out everyone who said they had it just had high libidos, and I’d say I was no different.


No, he fits none of the clinical criteria. He’s just learned the importance of the non-alcoholic’s holy grail: counting your drinks.

If anything, BF’s worst sin is poor choice in roommates, and he knows what I mean (not the girl, older drama).

I can’t believe she stole his dog. That’s just so wrong, you don’t fuck with a man’s dog!!!

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Congratulations dad!

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Congratulations. That is spectacular.

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Ah, a codependent joke, brilliant!

No, it was a joke about his douchebag former roomate. He’s posted about it before.

And denial, wow, you are really on today!

Not sure what is going on here, but wanted to progress the thread, have a couple of stories to post today from the last couple of months.

In the early days of managing the club, I wanted to gain some quick wins in the sales department by contacting all the members who had left in the last 3-6 months that this guy was operating.

There were many reasons, and without going too much into the mismanagement of the business prior to my arrival, let’s quickly say that the communication between the club and members was atrocious.

Look, some of the shitty communication was because English was his second language, but simple things like the correct spelling of the member’s name, or not overusing exclamation marks !!!
and weird spacing
Including starting.sentence like this bad with English

Numerous cancellations had gone unchallenged, or even unquestioned. There was no follow up, no intent to improve. So I set about contacting them all.

I probably only regained one or two members, but I learnt a heap about their experiences and what they wanted out of training. Most people had just moved on, their heart wasn’t in it and they’d decided to try something else. Kinda amazed me in some ways, I have such a love for BJJ, even when I was most distant from my training schedule as an early white belt I couldn’t see myself ever walking away,

An oddly consistent question that came up was “when are the kids going to learn some ACTUAL self defence instead of this wrestling stuff?” It was strange because it was as if I’d stepped into a time warp, an alternate reality. The first time it was posed, I was so confused that I stumbled through a response.

The next time I fielded the question, I was way more prepared. I then created a website that answered all the questions a normie might have before they even knew that had questions. Quite ingenious, I am.

Anyway, the best response hit every single Bullshido argument possible.

The guy was angry, too. Like I’d personally taken his hard earned money and taught his children fuck all.

He’d organised with the owner previous to the previous owner to pay cash, he was part of the Croatian Mafia that is known to hang out at the Pub next door and they were notorious for their wads of cash…

Pro Tip: If people are able to pay cash for a subscription type service where everyone else pays by direct debit, they’re likely to think they own you.

This guy starts off by saying that what we teach is bullshit.

Oh, I say, can you elaborate?

“I learned martial arts when I was a kid from a guy who learned karate in the mountains in Korea,”

(hahahahahahah oh god he is serious hahahahahaha),

“and I used to be the guy in the red suit at women’s self defence weekends!!!”

(hahahahahahaha oh god no don’t laugh at him holy shit he thinks this is hardcore)

“We learnt to put your nose bone into your skull, this wrestling shit is nothing on the self defence we learned”

(it’s 2000s

“I can guarantee you that I can go down a dark alley followed by 5 people and walk out without even a scuff on my suit”

(he said this, literally said this)

“You’re teaching kids to roll around on the ground, when do they learn to punch?”

(I go to answer, he interrupts, this entire time reaching a crescendo)

“None of that shit you teach would work, how’s it going to work? You tell me, how is an 8 year old going to GRAPPLE a FULLY GROWN MAN? HUH?”

I sensed a gap and said, “well, in reality, how do you think an 8 year old is going to go striking against a fully grown man?”

The cognitive dissonance started seeping out his ears, but courageously he pushed it back in.

“That’s not the point, the point is that wrestling in a school fight against a bully doesn’t work, I know that a solid punch to the face of a bully will stop him in his tracks.”

“Okay, I get what you’re saying, and you’re right, many bullies will back down when challenged, but what about the one that doesn’t? What happens if a schoolyard bully who is bigger doesn’t stop? Isn’t it better to be able to take them down and sit on them until the teacher arrives? Have your child justify their actions by saying they controlled him rather than struck him and waited for the teacher?”

Again, the cognitive dissonance tried exiting the nose, but he pinched it and went straight back in.

“I wouldn’t care if my kid hit a bully!”

That wasn’t my point, though, I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that he was delusional, that his act around being a martial artist would be destroyed in seconds if he walked onto my mats. I wanted to tell him he was a gigantic fuckwit.

“Well, sir, thank you for our chat today, it looks as though we won’t see eye to eye on this topic.”

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It’s working, too. Have you even seen Kobra Kai?


I love you, man.

If nobody can tell the difference between a legit bjj black belt and a legit bjj blue belt, it’s a sad state of affairs.

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Yes, of course I have seen Cobra Kai.

I don’t get what you’re referring to, BKR?

I’m not referring to anything. I find it hilarious all this agnst over a obviously fake Peruvian blue belt in BJJ.

Dude, please, tell me you have actually touched a real BJJ black belt?
Of some sort?

How in the fuck did these people get deceived by this asshole?

Yes, I’ve “touched a real BJJ black belt”. What an odd thing to say.

There is no angst over a fake Peruvian blue belt, you’re missing the point, I find it hilarious that this is what are focussed on, considering I have already said there is a fuckton more to this story.

If there is “angst” in the story, it is more from the thought of having to leave the 3rd gym in 2 years than anything to do with a whackass bullshit artist colourblind Brazilian dancebattler. Or it could be that he literally tried to steal from me and a number of other unconscionable business practices.

You know people can own businesses and not have anything to do with them other than certain select roles, right? In this guy’s case he came to the franchise as a businessman and bought the franchise as a business. He already ran other businesses that happened to be martial arts gyms, it was a business transaction. The way you seem to be talking is that a gym can and should only be run by a BJJ black belt? Is that what you are hinting at?

Again, though, the above is like a hint at what is to come in this guy’s story as a fake, a charlatan, and a fraud. The blue belt thing is fairly inconsequential other than being the catalyst for investigating the rest of his claims, his businesses, and his dodgy accounting practices.

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Yes. What he said.

Do it slowly and tell us what you’re wearing.

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