Is there some weird new fetish that I don’t know about? Last night my wife went to the grocery store which is about 5 minutes away to get a few items, but was gone for almost two hours. When I drove the car to work this morning a cut up tie and a tin of body moisturizer was on the seat…
I am afraid to ask her about it.
Is there a group of people who only need some scissors and a necktie to have a good time? What are they called? Cravatists?
wtf? ask her to explain it.
What you need to do is leave something equally obscure for her next time she uses the car. Like a plain envelope full of feathers or something. Then deny all knowledge.
I love it. I am thinking a ballpeen hammer, a half empty tub of tapioca pudding, padded handcuffs, and ‘Catcher In The Rye’ in Russian.
I’d leave the handcuffs out. Suspicious minds and all that, you don’t want to light a fire you can’t put out.
But if you leave the handcuffs out she won’t see anything that’s unusual.
You need to ask her about this directly … was it not a recognizable necktie ( ie yours ) … am I wrong or does it seem to be two neckties laying on the seat ?
One time I used some stage blood and smeared it on MOM34’s hatchback of her minivan and left bloody handprints on the door handle. I also left an unwrapped condom in the back storage area. Then I drove her van on a road that was being cut in for a new subdivision, to get it muddy and I left the shovel in the garage floor.
I had a good laugh about it. She almost filed for divorce.
It was the first time I remember her using the word motherfucker in almost 20 years.
What you should do is get some of those “Have you seen me” flyers from Walmart bulletin boards, and just “X” out their faces and write something like…
“Drainage ditch”
“Garbage Dump” and so on on them like they were where you dumped their bodies.
Man I am a sick motherfucker. Wait a minute…thats what MOM34 said.
Well, I got kind of an answer, ‘I was looking for something in my purse’
As if it is perfectly normal to keep such items there. No further explanation given.
Yeah, its my necktie. With an article I read earlier describing how the necktie is a phallic symbol I am hoping this is not some twisted Bobbit by proxy action. I am sure DAyoung will come up with some philosophical explanation.
Heh. That is awesome. My elaborate pranks always die in the planning state. I need to execute one of them sometime.
" I was looking for stuff in my purse" was the answer ?
You serious … ?
Ok then I have a couple questions
Mrs Monkey is saying she may have tied herself to the headrest ( by the neck or chest )and had to cut herself loose after playing with the the little man in the boat .
I still think your trolling .
I like that explanation!
I am half trolling. I did truly find that stuff there. I think she was using the tie as an object lesson or something.
There are German traditions about cutting up a necktie - but it is the wrong time of year, basically on the Thursday before the start of lent during carnival (womens day) everyone gets drunk and women cut the neckties of the men they want to shag. Maybe tshe was just reliving that happy time before she married you when she worked at that discrete little place down Schwanzlutscher Strasse.
I love that street. Actually I met my Canadian bride in true geek fashion, she was a penpal.
I want my tie back.
Aren’t you moving into the house with 5 girls? Or is that the other warner brothers’ cartoon character?
Those are some dang ugly ties you have there. Now I know what happened. She saw you on the street, as a member of the fashion police it was her sworn duty to get rid of the offending ties.
no, i was selling them. Bitch went nuts and started cutting up my merchendise, and now someone’s gotta pay for it all.
Seriously, or there’s gonna be trouble.
Brilliiant! Running dog, I will come to you for all relationship advice in the futire. PLUS REP!
But seriously dude, I would be worried. This is weird. But maybe its just a bizarre joke… like the one I pulled on Captain Anderson and Sergeant Kelleher that time… I will write a full account of this and explain at a later date along with a warning: DO NOT TRY THIS ON YOUR OWN COMPANY COMMANDER AND PLATOON SERGEANT!!!
EDIT: PS. It was fuckin funny though. It was damn well worth it.
You will find that mariage is more fun because it gives you someone to pull pranks on.
MOM34 is in Little Rock this weekend and only took the baby with her. So I have been telling her that I want to get a miniature goat so the dog will have someone to play with.
My old paintball sponsor has a petting zoo (yeah AT the paintballfield) and I am going to borrow one of them and put it in the backyard with the dog.
I will keep it for a few days after she gets back, THEN let her in on the gag.
One time, I rented a pickup truck from Enterprise and came home from work with it. I told her that I had bought it.
Boy was she pissed.
hahahahaha.
I had a friend who left about 40 Christmas trees in my front yard one New Years Eve. So i made a sign that was 6’ x 4’ , paintd it white, and put
Convicted Child Molester
Stay 100’ from property
This sign was placed by order of MS State Circuit Court Judge G. Ready (he is a real judge) and is to be dispalyed until July 1, 2001.
Then I put in on 4x4 posts and put it in his yard while he was at Church. (He teaches a youth Sunday School class).
You have GOT to follow through man. Life is too short not to.
I always ask people who threaten to prank me… “Are you ready for this to escalate?” because it will.