As you know, Im not much of a people driven person. I have a close knit circle of friends I seldom see, but when we catch up its like no time has passed. I don’t go on dates, I dont go out much, but one thing Ive noticed that’s a striking pattern is how desperate people seem in my age category for either affairs or trying to use sex to get into relationships.
I’ve found a reliable trend in the occasional person who has approached me for anything, something Ive observed since uni:
Mid 20’s through to early 30s
If single, they want marriage and/or a baby
They seem to believe sex is the be all and end all
There’s usually a historically bad relationship or they are in one currently. Some of them I have noticed have been compulsive cheaters.
Mental health problems such as Anxiety and Depression
I’m honestly wondering if Im running in the wrong crowds or if this is an a demographic in its own right. I know baggage is one thing but this seems it gives a good idea of groups to avoid.
[QUOTE=Lily;3009671]What’s wrong with people in category 2, 3, 4 (bad r’ship not the cheaters) or 5?[/QUOTE]
Not saying anything about this is bad of itself, but it seems to me the people who go for are pretty much almost all of these things at once. It stinks of unstable and I dont need that kind of nonsense in my life. I dont want someone desperate who just wants me to fix their problems and push out a baby from within the next year.
I dont know if I need a new crowd or if I should be possibly trying to meet more people, but there’s this wierd commonality Im seeing across guys and girls in my age group along with being overly emotional and dramatic that makes me wonder if there’s some quarter-life crisis?
Edit: perhaps I am overly cautious due to my own experiences? These kind of things became red flags to me when I witnessed siblings in relationships like this, and there was always drama and fighting. Some of my shittier exes had these trait combos and I didnt realy till later.
I think what’s crappy is it’s the culmination of all of them.
[QUOTE=Tranquil Suit;3009672]If you had me as a close friend, you’d have a different outlook on people. My humbleness is an inspiration to everyone around me.[/QUOTE]
I’m pretty sure there aren’t many things that would stop me being distrustful of the general populace of this planet. Fire away
[QUOTE=kimjonghng;3009673]Not saying anything about this is bad of itself, but it seems to me the people who go for are pretty much almost all of these things at once. It stinks of unstable and I dont need that kind of nonsense in my life. I dont want someone desperate who just wants me to fix their problems and push out a baby from within the next year.
I dont know if I need a new crowd or if I should be possibly trying to meet more people, but there’s this wierd commonality Im seeing across guys and girls in my age group along with being overly emotional and dramatic that makes me wonder if there’s some quarter-life crisis?
Edit: perhaps I am overly cautious due to my own experiences? These kind of things became red flags to me when I witnessed siblings in relationships like this, and there was always drama and fighting. Some of my shittier exes had these trait combos and I didnt realy till later.
I think what’s crappy is it’s the culmination of all of them.[/QUOTE]
Eh, sonny, speak up, I can’t hear you…
Seriously, though, you seem to have a pretty good handle on what to avoid. Don’t settle for less than you want in a relationship.
[QUOTE=Tranquil Suit;3009672]If you had me as a close friend, you’d have a different outlook on people. My humbleness is an inspiration to everyone around me.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Sam Browning;3009681]Could you give us a thumb nail sketch of what you are looking for? Age etc? It would help in providing an intelligent answer.[/QUOTE]
They seem to believe sex is the be all and end all
There’s usually a historically bad relationship or they are in one currently. Some of them I have noticed have been compulsive cheaters.
Mental health problems such as Anxiety and Depression
I don’t know if you want a younger or older partner. So I can’t comment here.
If you don’t want marriage and a kid find a group of people who have decided to devote most of their time to their careers, and other money to activities like foreign travel.
I know that to avoid people with such problems, some corporations like to recruit people out of college who were heavily into college athletics, the idea being that they were more likely to be competitive and not victims of ailments that would prevent them from working.
Perhaps a sports club that focuses on extreme sports?
[QUOTE=kimjonghng;3009600]As you know, Im not much of a people driven person. I have a close knit circle of friends I seldom see, but when we catch up its like no time has passed. I don’t go on dates, I dont go out much, but one thing Ive noticed that’s a striking pattern is how desperate people seem in my age category for either affairs or trying to use sex to get into relationships.
I’ve found a reliable trend in the occasional person who has approached me for anything, something Ive observed since uni:
Mid 20’s through to early 30s
If single, they want marriage and/or a baby
They seem to believe sex is the be all and end all
There’s usually a historically bad relationship or they are in one currently. Some of them I have noticed have been compulsive cheaters.
Mental health problems such as Anxiety and Depression
I’m honestly wondering if Im running in the wrong crowds or if this is an a demographic in its own right. I know baggage is one thing but this seems it gives a good idea of groups to avoid.
Anyone else have this?[/QUOTE]
These people you attract. If they went to college ask them what their major was, I think you will find a correlation.
They seem to believe sex is the be all and end all
There’s usually a historically bad relationship or they are in one currently. Some of them I have noticed have been compulsive cheaters.
Mental health problems such as Anxiety and Depression
I don’t know if you want a younger or older partner. So I can’t comment here.
If you don’t want marriage and a kid find a group of people who have decided to devote most of their time to their careers, and other money to activities like foreign travel.
I know that to avoid people with such problems, some corporations like to recruit people out of college who were heavily into college athletics, the idea being that they were more likely to be competitive and not victims of ailments that would prevent them from working.
Perhaps a sports club that focuses on extreme sports?
That is my two cents.[/QUOTE]
Age isnt too much of a concern for me.
Marriage is something I’d consider if things go well and we both want it, but Im not going for that till financial stability is attained.
I’ve generally got a rule about not getting with someone just to have a child and we leave it there. My outlook is that if I dont like the person enough to stay and raise the kid then why the hell would I be wanting to pay child support? If I have kids, they are being raised with me in their lives
Sports clubs is probably a good idea, I’d be up for having a partner who also trains martial arts, but dating within you’re own club feels like it’s playing with fire to me.
[QUOTE=kimjonghng;3009600]As you know, Im not much of a people driven person. I have a close knit circle of friends I seldom see, but when we catch up its like no time has passed. I don’t go on dates, I dont go out much, but one thing Ive noticed that’s a striking pattern is how desperate people seem in my age category for either affairs or trying to use sex to get into relationships.
I’ve found a reliable trend in the occasional person who has approached me for anything, something Ive observed since uni:
Mid 20’s through to early 30s
If single, they want marriage and/or a baby
They seem to believe sex is the be all and end all
There’s usually a historically bad relationship or they are in one currently. Some of them I have noticed have been compulsive cheaters.
Mental health problems such as Anxiety and Depression
I’m honestly wondering if Im running in the wrong crowds or if this is an a demographic in its own right. I know baggage is one thing but this seems it gives a good idea of groups to avoid.
Anyone else have this?[/QUOTE]
Don’t date people who pull guard serially rather than training take downs.