This is the Liquor, Loot and Ladies Forum, and I have a massive lady problem. My best friend has been head over heels in love with this chick for over a year. It turns out we all find out about a few weeks into this relationship that this girl has some kind of Aspergers or Agrophobia and she can never ever meet people other then my friend (who she was on massive drugs on the first date with) and she freaks out even if a repair man comes into the apartment when she is alone. She for some reason is 100% fine with him now, other then being social inept to the point of craziness. .
My friend, hes a great guy. Treats her like gold, and she treats him back. The only problem is, is that my friend has this extreme inability to deal with women who aren’t his styling, and this girl is the only girl of his styling he has ever found. since she is country born and raised on a damn farm, home schooled and all. Now, my friend has spent over a year draining my of my empathy and caring by getting free counseling from me about this situation, as well conflict resolution with her parents and etc etc, and I kind of snapped today, and told him to fuck off in a really rude way.
I mean, how does it work that I can tell him that i don’t like the girl cause she can not ever talk to anyone, and wont be able to without years of counseling? he is already heartbroken, and i dont want to push it anymore.
This is sort of confusing… they’re fine with each other, but your friend asks you for counseling/help? That doesn’t make sense to me. Explain por favor.
If he really is your best friend then he’ll have no problem with discussing this with you, and you should have no problem with him telling you to fuck off and get a life. If he isn’t and you’re worried how he’ll react then you’ve no business telling him in the first place.
Frankly, I don’t see the problem with her. I’d only ever have this discussion if she were stealing, cheating or a serial killer.
I have a friend who dated an agrophobic for about two years. He is kind of a bum though, and will tolerate almost anything just so he can have a roof over his head.
She ended up kicking him out after two years because she got sick of supporting his ass…but in the time they were together she never went anywhere except to the doctor’s, and she had to be zonked on valium just to get her to do that. She had a job, but it was in the same building that she lived in so she never really went anywhere. This woman didn’t mind meeting new people though if he brought them over. But I never went over because she was too fucking nuts for my liking, she was also into Wicca and had a couple of bratty kids who she let smoke dope in the house and the whole deal.
This guy has been a friend of mine since we were 13 yrs old and i’ve seen him lose some good women over the years because of his laziness, but this woman was NOT one of them. Judging by what he told me she was a bona fide nut case. But hey, he was the one who put up with it. I suggest you let your friend deal with it as he sees fit. If you don’t like her and think she’s nuts…so what. Let him make his own mistakes and live with his own decisions.
Dude, there is a fine line between being supportive, and being a shit magnet. If he is your best friend, and if you have every fucking reason to believe this girl is going to fuck him over, then by all means, tell him to fuck off and dump her.
Tell him the way you see this thing, and if he doesn’t pay attention to what you say, then just tell him “dude, I’d rather not talk about it cuz no matter what I say to you, you do not listen. We are friends, but this shit doesn’t do any good to me. Sorry.”
This is all assuming HE is the one that comes TO YOU all the time asking for advise or complaining. If you are the one going TO HIM to talk about how fucked up this girl is, then you are way out of line.
If he is really into her, then let him. Either it will work, or it won’t, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Also, agoraphobia does not equal social ineptitude. It means she scared of people and the possibility of what could happen when she puts herself at risk. I’m amazed that she could even go out on a date at all.
Just because she’s scared shitless of the outside world doesn’t mean she’s not capable of making your friend very happy.
Asperger’s syndrome is a different thing entirely however. It does make a person somewhat to extremely socially inept, but, it doesn’t mean your friend can’t deal with it. I’m actually kinda shocked your friend has found himself in this situation, and I think he probably has a heart of gold just for being able to weather this kind of thing for so long.
People with psychological problems deserve love as much as the next person.
Now I’m just guessing but…
the real problem here is probably that girls family as much as anything. People with mental health problems typically have extremely screwed up family lives. Don’t know if it’s cause or effect, but I’m willing to bet your friend is in for a long and bumpy road of drama with those people.
Ill explain better, I didnt have to the chance ot yesterday and i came across as a cock.
All they do is sit around and smoke weed, and fuck. They do not have the best relationship, they have a lot of parent problems and relationship tiddle shits. there is a constant argument because the girl refuses to see any other living human other then him in person, because if she does, she goes into convulsions of terror. I am really pissed that they keep doing massive amounts of drugs which isn’t helping her mental state.
All he does to me, the only friend that listens anymore, is “My girl has psycho problems, and drugs don’t help, WAHHHHHHHHH!”
I think I see a bit of where you’re going, second post helped.
If your friend is as tight with you as you are with him, he’ll get over being told to fuckoff. Besides, where else can he go?!?
You should take him back with conditions-- he can come hang with you, but when you have heard too much about the bitch, its STFU time, he can just hang out and have a beer or bye-bye.
Sometimes having a med. condition makes people very manipulative and controlling. I could get really paranoid and ask if anyone has SEEN a Doctor’s note that she’s diagnosed with those syndromes, or is this all a psycho control-trip. But it doesn’t matter.
He should definitely get out, but you can’t make him.
If you feel you need to keep telling him, I say go ahead. I had two buds once, all the way from junior high into late 20s or 30 or so. One married a young thing and they all hung out. Then she quit him, cried on the shoulder of my other bud-- and he’s with her before she’s even divorced. I told bud #2 that was low, and no p----- was worth it. He didn’t take that well. I later talked to bud #1 about drugs and HE didn’t take that well. So neither of them speak to me, even though bud #2 got left by the girlie years ago and is married to a nice lady his own age who I get along with. Oh well. I feel like I tried to be their friend and tell them both what needed to be said. Maybe I did it wrong, but my conscience is clear.
yah know you could mention to him that he is only over there to smoke weed and grind her guts. If that is all he is there for, he can drop the dramatic help me routine and go find anouther chick that will smoke weed and blow his meat whistle.
Now if he in fact does care about her, then back up just like everyone else has said and get ready for the “i told ya so” when it all falls apart for him. But honestly, i believe you could be having a jealous/selfish moment over your friends actions cause he is doing something that your not or you could be viewing this situation as a bad thing cause she is taking him away from you and he is paying attention to her, which leaves you hangin in the breeze.
There is medications out there that she can take to alleviate some of the paranoid dilusions that she suffers from about people… weed is one of them cause it relaxes the body and mind. She may be taking medical marijuana as a experimental drug…or not