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-What a hard week of training, moons up, night is young... my muscles were sore!
Maybe a nice massage will fix everything!-
… So I thought. as my first massage, I never thought of entering the world of massage! my friend gave me this idea and location. Having funny inside jokes of happy endings and perky asian parlors thinking “Nah happy endings only happen in movies”
So I walked into the parlor, there was a fairly attractive asian lady at the front desk. She goes “aah wehcome to aroma foot spah!” I say 'Hi, what are the fees for a hour?" She tells me $45. I was shocked, I thought massage was some expensive gucci $100 a hour kind of thing.
So I excitingly said yes! She brings me to the back of the building, The rooms all look relaxing, soothing tunes playing in the air. Then I met my massager. Very attractive asian woman with great curves.
Replaced my clothes with a towel and laid down face flat, I tried to break silence by bringing up conversation but there was a language barrier. All she understood was “good massage” to which she responded “aww tanks juu”
After about 20 mins in, she started asking “what u do foh living? u police” I tried to hold in my laughter and firmly said “no.” she asked again a few times, to which I responded ‘no’ still.
Then she asks me to flip over, of course. I was 17 and had a raging, vein popping, hormone fueled boner.
She literally plops up my silk underarmor and starts to play with my balls and I was like “woah hold on there cow girl!” (I had a GF at the time) I told her its ok and the massage was over.
It got intense, she wanted me to pay her extra, for the few seconds of mingling with my balls, something I did not care for in the first place. I refused the payment. That’s when Her and her co-worker (all 3 of us had a language barrier) blocked me from the exit. Saying “u pay money, u pay it now” I eventually was able to speed past them. 
Not much of a crazy story, but I’m sure you guys have some skety Massage experiences. Amirite?