BBC News South Asia reported today that the President of Pakistan Pervez Musharraf has announced that his country will be offering assistance to the victims of the earthquake in the United Kingdom.
Early reports indicate the assistance will be made in pilau rice, however, there have been thousands of email requests for Pakistani martial artists willing to travel to give their help.
I should think so too! It was a horribly traumatic experience ,I lost at least 15 minutes sleep ! Couldn’t they send plain rice instead, pilau brings me out in spots! I also suffered an enlarged crack (in my wall!)
One report in the Linconshire press stated that a woman, Joan 48, from Louth, called the Police at 0130hrs reporting that her parrot had been scarred to death, and found lying motionless and not breathing.
what?
I was in the pub when it happened.
Didn’t notice a fucking thing.
I thought Yorkshire felt it?
I was joking, it was actually pretty awesome. But not as awesome as the karaoke till 4am the night before (which I missed, sadly).
Ahhhhh! I’m north lancashire, it happened,I went back to sleep again!
North (make that “Norf”) London (make that “Lundun”).
1AM. I had only just gone to grapple within the sweet arms of Morpheus when everything started spinning. I came too, wondering if I was being delusional. The effing ceiling threatened to drop and I thought that the next door neighbour’s dog had got across the attic space just above me.
I then wondered if a fox or large bird had been making their lair/nest but that can be tough 3 floors up so…(though in the past, we found a bees apiary up there)
BBC News put my Mind at rest with the Earthquake thingy so obviously the patter of tiny feet in my attic space was the binding falling away from the roof tiles.
Well, the last time anything like that happened was when the Buncefielf oil depot went up at 6AM. I thought the ceiling was going to drop in then too…
If I had been in the pub, all would have been well, 'cos any movement in the floor and walls/ceiling is prefectly reasonable…
I felt it I thought the world was going to end and shit. My door started banging and I started swerving slightly from left to right.
Being a paranoid fucker I went downstairs and concluded my building could not withstand an earthquake.
Watch out for another random black swan however not another earthquake. Watch out for a tidal wave or something
Primark have asked for assistance, apparently they’ve run out of baseball caps, black socks and tracky bottoms.
Poundstretcher have also run out.
Brilliant.
Also understand that Food Parcels have been considered but there isn’t enough “Sunny D”. Rustlers are also under pressure for their 70sec microwave burgers.
Lots of Elizabeth Arden “jewellery” from Argos is apparently on the Missing List.
LOL…