Alright, first off, let me explain, i’m fairly good with the ladies, Seriously. I spit mad game, and do the ridiculously corny/cheesey things that bitches (i use that lovingly, of course) love (at least around here, anyway)
Anyway, Let me give you the moose dating background:
Lots of psycho bitches. Like, carve moose’s name into their thigh/fake pregnancy/suicide attempts psycho.
That being said, Let me start my story off with Fake Preggo Girl (not her real name…) Fake Preggo Girl (FPG for short) was dating the drummer in my band at the time. FPG and i were like, exactly the same. We liked the same stuff, had the same opinions, it was amazing. So FPG starts cheating on my drummer with me (he was a shit drummer, and i didn’t like him)
Took a while for us to date, she cheated on me with him, got fed up with her after 9 months ,dumped her, continued to fuck her over the course of a year, with various “I’M T3H PREGGO” claims. (dumped her last july, recently stopped having sex with her)
That was all fine and good. Met a girl named Ridiculously hot and was like, the popular chick in her school, and i met her through work, and she was like, untouchable, but wanted my dick, so i was happy, and her wanting me validated my attractiveness. We’ll call her Not crazy chick (NCC for short)
NCC has a boyfriend. She cheats with me, its all good. I’m happy.
I meet Terrible Girlfriend due to lack of dating experience, who didn’t attempt to make me happy in any sense. We’ll call her Ashley.
I was a terrible boyfriend to Ashley, but i bought her expensive stuff, and when her and i were alone, i wasn’t so bad. I hit on her best friend, read her journal, lied to her, yelled at her, got way jealous, cheated on her with NCC, (yes, moose is a douchebag) all this crap. It was weird, i was never this bad of a boyfriend before.
Anyway, she gets sick of my shit, dumps me, i’m a wreck for a while.
Meet Scene Chick Who can sing good, and is in a rad band. We’ll call her Groupie. Groupie was awesome, her and i had a lot in common, but she had a boyfriend. We never got together, just talked about it alot. That didn’t materialize.
Met Amazing Girl, we’ll call her Perfect, on july fourth. This chick is awesome. Hung out with her again earlier today for 6 fucking hours, and all we did was lay in the grass and talk. It rocked huge amounts of stuff thats easily rocked.
So in teh course of us talking (pre-hanging out) its going good, like we’re about to date (all moose wants is love! hahahaa) So anyway, we hang out, it goes from awkward (friend vibe, due to awkwardness) to us opening up more, and all the feelings we had when we talked were like OMG present. So yeah, she has a boyfriend, but i didn’t care. We cuddle (stfu, ok? I’m a fake-romantic at heart) and i do stuff to turn her on and frustrate her, more about how much she cares about me, she’s going to break up with 2nd dan krotty douchebag (yes, krotty. hahhah) etc. This one sucks, because i can totally be real with her, you know? I haven’t lied to her at all, i can be honest with her, and we have enough in common to talk, but enough differences to debate stuff. She has a fucking brain, and i dig that. Ashley, i couldn’t fucking talk to her, period. About anything. But with Perfect, man, we layed in the fucking grass and talked for 6 hours.
Then we’re talking, and she’s like
I edited out names
and, you know, it seems like every chick i’m into has a boyfriend (that doesn’t stop me, idk, i’m good at getting chicks to cheat on them. No, moose has no concious)
And, you know, i think i have a fairly decent taste in chicks (now…i got away from psycho bitches) but have fairly bad timing.
I don’t know, i mean, it really sucks, because i rock at getting chicks, but i suck at keeping them.
I don’t know, fix it?