Mother Nature is trying to kill you.
Every second, minute and hour of your life.
Fuck your natural remedies. Fuck your paleo and detox. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Let the artic fucking melt.
So the fuckt is that my wife has breast cancer and goes under surgeon’s scalpel next week.
At the same fucking time.
The very day I had the last pill of the profilaxis for my chemotherapy she was tested for it, and the very same day that I shot in my thigh my last anticoagulant injection, she was found carcinome d1.
I had just undergone chemo since 1st april 2018, because a linfoid acute leukaemia, being able to endure it in style and dignity. I was ready. Ready to be the light in the dark, the warm in the cold, ready to empower the both of us just from the salty drink of her tears and the power of my love.
But Mother Nature, in Her Überbitchdom and evil sense of humor, still had a laugh at me.
“So you have cojones to face me off?”
She grinned at my tiny defiance of her mighty desire of Death.
Let’s get rid of them both
So following her dark unmovable instinct, she re-activated my leukaemia. In my right ball it started, a couple of weeks ago, inflating my testicle like a zeppelin.
“What the fuck?” I said unawareingly after a long post chemotherapy fuck with love. “Did not have to put it in there for the joy”
And to the Doctor I went, and after a week in antibiotics in didn’t shrink.
So my hematologist got scared. And to the Spinal Tap I was sent, and some more eleven marrow taken was from my chest.
And tomorrow they repeat some blood test,
but the odd is not the best.
Because the better couldn’t be taking only the swollen one.
Instead they all want,
to cut them both at once.
And now my wife sends me this book in Spanish, translated by a friend.
And I am writing and crying while singing a lullaby for my three older children while the 4mo baby drinks from a bottle, way earlier than my lady would have ever wanted.
And life is a bitch.
A bisexual cannibal ever-young paleolitical hyenous whore.
And I ask you, I demand you, argumentative napalm, critical shrapnel, and nuke duke speech…
against the cancer starving miraculously surviving writer bitch.
Because I need to hate someone, and this looks the finest bullshit to me.
If she’s legit I’ll take it, granted.
But I want science on my side.
Not nature loving ever fasting vibration speeches.
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