Let me give you twats some advice

Recently, I saw that a bunch of you were being losers, so I’m gonna give you some advice. In all honesty, I really don’t have any trouble with women. I’m just really picky, to a fault. All of my neat little stories are the disastrous failures that I happen upon. Some of them happened years ago, some recently. I update the time and story and make it fun for you all to read.

First things first, the most common mistake every man makes when starting a relationship is this: He’s too afraid to put a woman in her place.

I’m not talking about backhanding the woman and telling her to make you some pie. No, in fact that’s the completely not thing I want you to do. I’m telling you to be assertive. Women are by nature, designed to be given instructions. They are actually better at doing things than men are, if they are guided correctly. Women are by design, hunters and followers. Which is why most things are marketed towards women. They are the perpetual propagators of fashion and trends. This is why most men who have no “fashion sense” still wear the same thing they wore in 1972.

As I’ve said before, they are cursed with a hurricane of indecisiveness and come with a tsunami of illogical bullshit. So, first thing you need to learn is to be more assertive and seem “in control.” This will branch off into dozens of other things that she won’t consciously realize.

That is lesson 1.

Edit:

Addendum to Lesson 1.

  • Lesson 1a:

I guess I should probably go into this with more detail because it’s pretty important. I don’t claim to know everything about women or relationships, I know that I have very good and healthy relationships that allow me to grow and become a better person.

That being said, one thin I know for certain about women is that they hate it when guys try to act ‘this way’ or ‘that way’ to get them to like him.

Take a guy who is getting laid all the time, he gets labeled as a seductionist, he might even title himself. He might even go on the internet and post on a forum about “seduction tips.”

As males, we are all action-oriented. When we get the girl, we think it’s something we did. So the guy when trying to explain or compute what just happened, he will list the actions he did. Since all guys are a bit different from each other, their actions will be all different.

This begs the question: Why do we assume successful guys know why they’re successful?

When asked why they are successful, the successful guys generally don’t care, when asked, they point out their actions because as males, that’s how we fucking roll.

The best “seducers” do not even think they’re seducing, they’re just doing what they want as they please. They do not log onto the interbutt and download actions. They do what they want and ask about it later.

The second thing to understand is generally, girls are attracted to MEN. There needs to be a masculine component to a man. Nothing extreme of course, I mean I’m sure JFS, FFF, and the other super macho freaks we all know might love Sex and The City, but women don’t like them.

It’s however, important and very manly, to create your own world and live in it.

There is a reason why through most of history the woman is supposed to be “obedient” to the husband. And why the man is supposed to “cherish” the woman. Maybe it was due to feminist ideology or male apologists, but we have looked at history like that because man was in “power.” Right?

Wrong. Throughout history, women have always edged men in power. At least their sexuality anyway. The women were to be covered, their hair hidden, etc.

[size=2][b]Look at women today. Do you find any real uniqueness among women? No. They tend to be very herd-like. Women cannot make their own world, that’s what women need from us men.

There is a reason why when you set no boundaries on a woman, the raging storms of apocalypse occurs. (i.e. Hillary Clinton) Women not so much want boundaries as they want a world. And in the case of Hillary Clinton when no boundaries are set, The World.[/size][/b]

Oh and this isn’t a thread on how to get quick lays. That’s a thread Errant108 will make some other day.

This is about relationships and how to keep them.

why the fuck would anyone want to know about how to keep a relationship from you?

tea scones and transformers faggot what else do i need to say

Alex has a point, you don’t have the best track record for this kind of thing.

The joke here is Alex is making the comment mocking you, mocking me, because he hates all of you just as much as I do. Maybe more actually, he lives in a frozen tundra, so it’s understandable. His heart is nearly as cold as his environment.

Anyway, Lesson 2, abridged version highlighted:

JUST BE YOURSELF

This is probably the worst advice anybody could ever give you, potentially. Most of this is shit culled from a Mr. Allen Thompson, whom was read by my mentor, who in turn just gave me the shortened version of it.

All of the students and kids that I mentor who ask me about girls and whatever, I never tell them, “Just be yourself.” Fuck that. It’s retarded. It’s counter-productive and dangerous for many reasons.

If anybody ever tells you, “Just be yourself,” be sure to kick them in the balls or punch her ovaries to level the playing field. Anybody who says that doesn’t have a fucking clue as to what they’re talking about. It’s the default answer that anybody who doesn’t know or care or really any clue about women, dating, relationships, etc. and how they work. They say this to try to make it seem, to you, they they aren’t total retards.

Ask your buddy or your mom, or dad, or youth minister, or Dr. Expert what women want and they’ll most likely hit you with, “Just be yourself.” Not because it’s right, but because they’re just as clueless as you are. But they have to say something and it’s the same thing they’ve been hearing all their lives. I mean, how could something that everyone says be wrong, right?

As a side benefit, the person who says, “Just be yourself!” gets this sweet ass feeling of smugness and accomplishment for having given, you, the student a new shiny piece of wisdom you can go spend. You can be assured that they are furiously masturbating to the thought of themselves floating on high with wings sprouted from their backs after they’re done giving you advice.

If you press them for more details while they’re in their daydream of giving themselves a blowjob, they’ll probably follow up with, “You just have to be patient and you’ll meet someone right for you.” and to finish out the run, “And if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be.”

Be yourself. Patience. Faith. That’s about what you’re going to get.

[size=4][b]Now that’s all prefaced, the major reason “Just be yourself” is so common and dangerous is, that it gives you and excuse for not doing anything. Not learning from the mistakes you’ve been making in the past and correcting them for the future. Where you went wrong. Learn to take charge, actively go out and create the life you want. Learning the correct attitudes, behaviors and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the company he wants. It’s a convenient excuse validated by everyone else for continuing what he’s always done, to do only what he wants to do or what’s most comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch and drink beer and watch tv (while crying inside)… because, after all, he’s just being himself and that’s what he likes to do.

It’s not about “being yourself” or even being someone you’re not. It’s about becoming who you want to be. It’s about self-improvement and reaching your potential as a human being. It’s about feeling good, being happy and learning new and interesting things.

Do you think that Chuck Liddell gave up after his fight in Pride against Rampage? You think he went hom and said, “Oh well, I guess I’m just not much of a fighter. But I’m sure if I just be myself, I’ll find something else to do.”

He trained. He practiced and trained.

What about women? Do you think they subscribe to that bullshit? Hell no. They spend hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, skin, and everything on every little detail before stepping outside of their bathroom. There is a king’s ransom in clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, purses, and anything they think they can find to make themselves seem more attractive to potential mates.[/b][/size]

Of course this will fall on deaf ears for the most part. Everyone, like the bullshit mcdojo doctrines, wants to believe so badly that “Just be yourself” is all you need. Someone will inevitably say some version of “Just be yourself” and that you don’t need to understand all this stuff to do well with relationships.

These same people end up in fucked up relationships or are mostly just the losers who hang out by themselves at parties, school, bars, or any place that has potential for relationships. You know who these people are. Real-life lurkers. And they’re even creepier.

this is pretty sad. the fact that you “mentor” younger kids about relationships is not only extremely romo and probably a lie, but makes me feel pretty bad for these kids. (not that they exist)

Be yourself, if yourself is cool. i am a shameless motherfucker and act how i want when i want and it has kept me in pussy. your results may vary because you are the kind of person who would write a thread like this so you probably suck and are a dick to hang about with, so in your case not being yourself is good cos youre a cunty.

Don’t ruin the thread, tosser.

ok ill give my advice- avoid girls who do diet pills and have to put a layer of shit over their face to look halfway decent

Sirc, you’re trying to do a public service announcement. That is commendable. It’s one of the reasons you’re special.

The people you’re trying to advise probably won’t realise they need advice until they wake up lonely at 3 am and wonder why the one girl they really liked and maybe even loved was the one girl who no longer wanted to put up with their posturing petulant bullshit.

People don’t need advice. They need bitter experience and a healthy dose of fail.

He’s just upset because I’ve found a new New Zealander to love besides him. Don’t worry about it.

He also, just went ahead and confirmed exactly what I just posted. So he just looks like an angsty asshole. Which is fine, it’s what drives him. Alex is looking for people to high-five him and give him +rep for “taking me down a notch.”

Onto the next article!

Lesson 3:

Be consistent.

This is really only important towards the beginning of the relationship. It kind of works in the middle but you’ll have to modify as needed.

Recognize what previous actions have done to raise the girl’s interest and continue to do them. Yes, I know this sounds easy, but it really isn’t. Otherwise I wouldn’t have to say it.

I have seen countless assholes who completely ignore a woman, tease her, and just basically treat her like shit. These actions raise her interest and she begins to chase the man. I don’t know why this is, it fucking bewilders me.

But what does the man do? Does he recognize why her interest is now so high? Nope. He doesn’t.

As soon as she starts to chase him, he gets all logical on her and she decides to throw a simple test at him and he FAILS the test because his behavior is no longer consistent with the behavior that initially got her interest in the first place.

Remain consistent. If you got her attention by ignoring her and playing “hard to get” you are going to have to continue those behaviors in the future every once in a while to get her interest. Pull her in, tell her she’s beautiful. Push her away, tell her to make you a sandwich or you’re gonna go hang out somewhere else. It’s exactly like fishing, pull the line in, and then when the time is right give it slack or the line will break.

You guys are so eager that when she shows the smallest amount of interest, you immediately start to reel the line in for all its worth, the line breaks and the fish gets away.

This is the path of failure. The path of The Question, Riddeck, Toby_Christensen, et al.

Recognize your actions on your part that have gotten her interested in you and continue to do them, but don’t make the mistake of it being actions you don’t approve of.

Lesson 4:

[size=3]Never act like you did something wrong.[/size]

This is probably some of the best advice you’ll receive from me that can work outside of romantic relationships.

I’ve applied this to my real life and it is amazing. It’s also why trolling the lot of you is so easy.

No matter what you do, no matter what others think of your actions, never EVER act like you did anything wrong.

And quit apologizing for your life. You are just as good as anyone else, no matter what your mom/dad told you and you have just as much right to live your life as they do. What the hell are you apologizing for?

I used to say sorry at least 4-5 times a day when I was younger. These days it’s rare. It’s not my job, or yours to make others around me feel good about my actions. Why are you apologizing for living your life? (Toby_Christensen, Riddeck, The Question, Poop_loops you are not included in this sentence’s intent)

Only apologize when it’s truly warranted and never act like you did anything wrong.

I’m one to apologize than ask for permission. And rarely will I apologize for something I’ve done. No matter what your actions were, you can’t go back in time and change them and you can’t manipulate people to feel good about what you’ve done. You did what you thought was best at the time and you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel bad for that.

Do everything in your life with confidence. If you feel hesitation about doing something, you should ask yourself, “Is this something I should be doing? Do I want other people knowing I’m doing this?” Hint: Generally the answer is no, you shouldn’t be doing that.

When you act caught, you put yourself in a position of trying to gain other people’s approval. Looking back on my life, those were very unpleasant, so I just kind of avoid it all together now.

This advice is especially true for women. Say you are single and you are dating two women. Dating, not in a relationship with. If one finds out about another, and your body language and actions and words indicate that you thought you did wrong, she’ll be pissed at you.

If you act like it’s not a big deal (which it isn’t, I’m doing this very thing right now as of this writing) then she is more likely to accept what you’ve chosen to do without throwing a big fit.

Lesson 5:

If you are going to just take one piece of advice out of this whole thread. Take this one.

[b]Women imposing their will on men.[/b]

I was recently reminded of this when my ex called me unexpectedly. My ex was a judgmental, self-absorbed and shallow bitch. We broke up for several reasons, but those were the most prevalent on my end. On hers, she had problems with me wanting to adventure and learn a lot of new things and find out more about myself before finishing college. She wanted me to graduate before I was 22 or she didn’t want to date me anymore, so I told her to fuck off.

What happened here fellas, is that women constantly are trying to mold you into their idea of what they want you to be.

Are you going to be strong and your own person, or are you going to give in and become what she wants you to become?

Unfortunately, with my ex, in an effort to “keep her happy,” I let her impose her will on me and I changed a lot of things to better suit her. I didn’t swear at all. I started getting places 10-15 minutes early rather than right on time or fashionably late. Stopped learning about cars and working on them and letting all my projects go to shit.

Well, obviously it ended terribly. She gradually lost interested and eventually gave me an ultimatum and moved onto another branch to swing on before letting go of me.

Never, ever, ever, ever, compromise who you are as a person for a woman. Never compromise your core and your beliefs.

Never change for someone, change because of someone.

QFT…

Because people didn’t see it the first time, right?

Nothing to say, so you’ll just quote what someone else said, essentially suck his cock while giving a thumbs up and high-five’ing him?

Shut the fuck up before I plaster your wife’s images all over 4chan and give away your address and IP to them.

Sirc, so you threaten to reveal oldman’s personal information just to shut him up from posting on an LLL thread? Instead of rising to a challenge, you fall below your opponent’s level.

Ah, Sirc,

You are frighteningly close to some real truths here. Once you apply everything you’ve said here WITHOUT the latent misogyny, you are going to be allright.

All you are really saying is:

-Have some balls.
-Pay attention
-Use what works
-Find a woman who respects the things that make you who you are.
-Be willing to improve yourself.

Underneath your scorn and repartee, that’s is the gist of your message. Why you deliver it with such vitriol and woman-hate is either a defense mechanism or an attempt at trolling. You sound like a sensitive, artistic guy who is sick of being steamrolled by the indecisive, fickle, and often bizarre flights of whimsy that young women are notorious for.

The delicious irony is, these things that are bothering you so much about the women you date , are symptoms of the exact same frustration and confusion YOU are dealing with. You think because they are female that they aren’t confused and frustrated by men? Do you really think that women see men as the perfect, cognitive, rational beings we think we are? Of course they don’t. So they try to deal with it the same as you are. Just because their coping methods frustrate you doesn’t mean that they are invalid.

Now when a man can be assertive and understanding at the same time with a woman, when he can maintain his own self-image while nurturing HER confidence in him as a partner; well, that guy gets a lot of pussy. You are very close to being that guy. You have figured out that you have to simultaneously be yourself (despite your protestations to the opposite), while giving HER confidence in you through willingness to alter your techniques to improve your position with her.

To be in a good relationship REQUIRES a strong self-image and sense of identity. You are almost there. You defend it too stridently right now, but that is the first step. All you really need to do now is let that inner guitar-playing, jazz-listening, ballet-dancing artist out to guide the chest-beating, hair-puling, woman-hating caveman that you are currently riding high on.

Basically in a few years, I think you will be ready for a real relationship. My little boy is growing up!

Sarcastro…go back to ballet class, and stop lying to yourself.

You know you love da cock, you whining fucking nancy-boy.

Stupidest thread EVER.

No matter what your actions were, you can’t go back in time and change them and you can’t manipulate people to feel good about what you’ve done. You did what you thought was best at the time and you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel bad for that.

Do everything in life with confidence

When you act caught, you put yourself in a position of trying to gain other people’s approval. Looking back on my life, those were very unpleasant, so I just kind of avoid it all together now.

I used this advice for when I was caught masturbating.

“Hey, you’re masturbating!”

“Shut up, you stupid twat. Don’t impose your will on me, sit down and die.”

“…”

“Yea, that’s what I thought. Now get the fuck out of the way, this is my bus stop.”

whatever

Oh noes…please dont do that oh mighty one.