Jerry Seinfeld: Aikidoka?

in this interview with Parade Magazine:
http://www.parade.com/celebrity/articles/071017-jerry-seinfeld-2.html

Seinfeld indicates he studies, “Aikido, and I studied that for a while, the martial art. I love that. That’s a wonderful subject. Very good in marriage. I would suggest aikido training for anyone thinking of getting married.”

in this from Access Holywood:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21535797/

Seinfeld indicates he studied “karate” when younger but none specifically mentioned.

Between this, his relentlessly unfunny campaign to spam Bee Movie ads all over The Office, and some zany comments he made about how he shouldn’t have to clean up after himself when he goes to the movie theatre, I think I can say in earnest I want to kick Jerry Seinfeld’s ass harder than any other mediocre stand-up comic.

Seinfeld is really annoying me these days too…

Invite him to a Throwdown

Seinfeld has enough money to have you killed, cloned, brought back to life and killed again.

He should be advocating for pigs to clean-up after himself, he has enough money to pay his minions to clean-up after himself and not the poor minimum wage kids relegated to doing it.

Fuck that!!!

As a father of a 14 year old I want him to have some shitty gross minimum wage job so he’ll learn to appreciate what he has and not be a prick

All teenagers should have these jobs and it’s our duty to make them gross.

Trust me teenagers suck and are by nature assholes, they need these life experiences

OK. Next movie I see, I’m shitting on the screen. Tell me at which theatre your son works.

“Well, your honor, see Jerry Seinfeld, Aikidoka told me…”

How do you poo on a movie screen. Do you have projectile poop?

climb up the curtains to top of screen

hang on with one hand while de-pantsing with the other

ever so carefully position buttocks over screen while factoring in variables such as degree of screen curvature

await for dramatic or touchingly romantic moment to optomize social impact of bowel release

let fly and pray for solid movement and maximum sticking potential

Excess fat will help it stick better. I reccomend a donner kebab.

you mean like this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party

Whoa, and he thinks Scientology is “scientific”!

Man, now that I think about it, aikido and ninjutsu dojos seem like a pretty good place for Scientologists to go cruising for recruits.

Posts 5-12 made me laugh, thank you boys. :wink:
You’d be +repped would this be another thread…

You know, even before I worked at a movie theatre I used to bitch at my dad about cleaning up after himself at the cinema, and he always retaliated with some smug, self-righteous monologue about how FOR THE PRICES I PAY etc. etc. Do you know where my dad is now? That’s right, THE BONEYARD.

Keep it up, mister.

Do you claim responsibility?

Or are we pinning this one on Seinfeld?

And I prefer the term “Bone Orchard”

Seinfeld has always sucked and been unfunny. Jerry sucks too.

One day you will have children, and they will grow up and become teenagers and it will hit you, not only are teenagers assholes but you were an asshole as well.

And then you’ll do what I did and apologize to what ever surviving parent you have.

I won’t have children, they won’t grow up because we’ll have time-stopping pills by the time I’m of child-rearing age, I didn’t like teenagers before, during, and after being one, my mom will probably be dead from diabetes within a year or two, I already know I’m an asshole, and you still should pick up after yourself because I hope to god you have enough pride in your progeny to teach them they’re men and not pigs.

I really CANNOT STAND people who don’t clean their own air, I mean, if you want breathe, or use gasoline, you should be able to CLEAN THE AIR YOUR FUCKING SELF YOU LAZY PRICK.