Seinfeld indicates he studies, “Aikido, and I studied that for a while, the martial art. I love that. That’s a wonderful subject. Very good in marriage. I would suggest aikido training for anyone thinking of getting married.”
Between this, his relentlessly unfunny campaign to spam Bee Movie ads all over The Office, and some zany comments he made about how he shouldn’t have to clean up after himself when he goes to the movie theatre, I think I can say in earnest I want to kick Jerry Seinfeld’s ass harder than any other mediocre stand-up comic.
He should be advocating for pigs to clean-up after himself, he has enough money to pay his minions to clean-up after himself and not the poor minimum wage kids relegated to doing it.
You know, even before I worked at a movie theatre I used to bitch at my dad about cleaning up after himself at the cinema, and he always retaliated with some smug, self-righteous monologue about how FOR THE PRICES I PAY etc. etc. Do you know where my dad is now? That’s right, THE BONEYARD.
One day you will have children, and they will grow up and become teenagers and it will hit you, not only are teenagers assholes but you were an asshole as well.
And then you’ll do what I did and apologize to what ever surviving parent you have.
I won’t have children, they won’t grow up because we’ll have time-stopping pills by the time I’m of child-rearing age, I didn’t like teenagers before, during, and after being one, my mom will probably be dead from diabetes within a year or two, I already know I’m an asshole, and you still should pick up after yourself because I hope to god you have enough pride in your progeny to teach them they’re men and not pigs.
I really CANNOT STAND people who don’t clean their own air, I mean, if you want breathe, or use gasoline, you should be able to CLEAN THE AIR YOUR FUCKING SELF YOU LAZY PRICK.