Is rape really all that bad?

Reviews, Videos, and Everything Else The Finer Things
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Most people today would claim that rape is a terrible crime almost akin to murder, but I strongly disagree. Far from a vile act, rape is a magical experience that benifits society as a whole. I realize many of you will disagree with this thesis, but lend me your ears and I’m sure I’ll sway you towards a darkened alley.

If it weren’t for rape, Western Civilization might not exist as we know it today. When the Romans were faced with a disproportionate ratio of women to men in the early kingdom, they had to do something, lest their flidgling society die for lack of sons. To solve their little dilemma, they did what any reasonable man would do: they threw a festival for their little problem, they threw a festival for their Sabine neighbors, and then stole and raped their women. It’s quite logical; in fact I don’t understand why the settlers at Plymoth didn’t do the same to the local Indians–it certainly would have saved on shipping costs.

Obviously, in the case of the Rape of the Sabines, rape was a tremendous help to society. The Sabine women, for their part, didn’t seem to mind so much, as they threw themselves between their brutish old Sabine husbands and their charming new Roman ones to prevent bloodshed when the Sabine men came to relaim their wives. Yet even when society was totally against a rape, the raunchy act has benifited society too. Where would the Romans be, after all, if it weren’t for the Rape of the Lucretia infuriating the people to the point of overthrowing their last king, Lucius Tarpuinius Superbus? If it weren’t for that event, the world might have never had the Roman Republic for a pristine example of a flawless government.

Aside from history, rape has produced some of the most epic and possibly classic stories of human history. Take the story of Hercules, the archetype of what a strong man should be. This demi-god was the by-product of rape. Zeus tricked a woman into having sex with him and produced Hercules. If it wasn’t for rape, would we ever had such a great and epic story in which we could inspire millions for centuries to come? I think not.

Rapes glorious advantages are not, however, exclusively found from 2,000 year old examples. In actuality rape advantages can very much be seen today. Take ugly women for example. If it wern’t for rape, how would they ever know the joys of intercourse with a man who isn’t drunk. In a society as plastic-conscious as our own, are really to believe that some man would ever sleep with a girl resembling a wildebeest if he didn’t have a few schnapps in him? Of course he wouldn’t–atleast no self-respecting man would–but there in lies the beauty of rape. No self respecting man would rape in the first palce, so ugly women are guarenteed a romp with not only a sober man, but a bad boy too; and we all know how much ladies like the bad boy.

Ugly women are not, however, the only people who benifit from rape–prisoners enjoy as many perks too. What, after all, could be possibly be more boring than spending years of your life confined to some tiny cell 23 hours a day? Then answer, of course, is spending years of your life confined to some tiny cell 23 hours a day and never getting some hot action. With rape, prisoners never have to worry about that. Instead, they merely need worry about treating their rapist with enough love and respect to earn a quick reach-around.

Even in highly cultured societies such as Japan, they are still doing unnumerable amounts of research in order to find even more benefits of rape. Ponder on this scenario for a moment: you’re sitting in a train by yourself, minding whatever business you have, when all of a sudden a generous bystander offers you sex with absolutely no obligations on your behalf. A little sex never hurt anybody, and it’s been scientifically proven that sex during the day can give you a little moral boost to keep you going throughout the day.

But if there is one bread and butter reason for why rape should not only be accepted, but even endorsed, it is because our news editors are in dire need of interesting stories for our front page. Bookstore stories? Fossils? One dollar coins? Please. Now, some saucy circle-jerk rape action? Yeah, that’s the ticket.

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Didn’t someone already write this?

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You were raped, weren’t you.

Wait, you’d make a pretty woman… My bad.

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So this is what guys who get rejected by women think about in their spare time.

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that… and how much rohypnol would be considered effective or lethal.

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It saddens me that Bullshido has fallen so far that it allows people to write that they endorse rape and staff back this up with a bit of a laugh. There will be a lot of angry young men reading this getting the wrong idea. There will be a lot of people reading this and wondering why they bother coming to this website at all.

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You know of the report post button?

It’s the bright yellow one with the !.

We’ll know if you click it.

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Grow some balls, bitch. And drink some bleach.

Edit:

I can’t believe you’re serious. You really, honestly think someone would REALLY honestly be advocating rape? Are you fucking retarded or something? I think you are. I really think you should kill yourself and end your life.

Here’s a few ways I think you should go at it:

First method here is a good old fashioned hanging. It’s not really that hard, just get a chair. Stand on the chair, insert your head through the loop and kick the chair out from underneath. Really, easy, simple and clean. Make sure little kids aren’t around to see you, they might think you’re a pussy for not biting your own throat out.

Here’s a razor. Just stab into your arm and pull towards your elbow. You can get a better affect if you run around screaming something in jibberish. But since you’re an obvious fucktard, I bet that you have nobody around who cares. Or better yet, make a game of it:

Stab your femoral artery and see how far you can run before you pass out. Then encourage a friend to compete against you. Nothing brings out the best in mankind like competition.

Here’s a violent way out. Just swallow a bunch of random pills and have a chaser of vodka. Then just sit and wait for the pills to screw around with your system and watch as you convulse and vomit from the mouth.

These are just starters. If you put your imagination into it, I’m sure you can think of plenty of other ways to end yourself, you son of a bitch.

:XXbuzzsaw

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HAY EVERYONE! SHE HAZ A VAG! LET’S TELL HER HOW COOL SHE IS!!

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I advise you to become familiar with the term “tongue-in-cheek” and then cpme back at your own discretion.

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I really think he should take my advice on the suicide thing first though.

Lefty, seriously, how old are you? 12?

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This is about whether or not it is reasonable for others to believe you may be serious. In a couty of law someone may say they read online that rape wasn’t that bad. To be tongue in cheek about rape shows the cruelest form of insensitivity and hubris I’ve ever seen on this website. I am shocked that administrators here condone you encouraging others, even in jest, to commit violent crimes against others.

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You’re upset about violence, but you’re on a martial arts forum? Oh the ironing. Also quit the pseudo-intellectual bullshit. You’re using words wrong, and you’re not even using your hyphens.

HYPHENS! YOU NEED THEM!

It’s tongue-in-cheek, you son of a bitch. You’re using hubris wrong by the way, dimwit.

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You have lead Bullshido even further into disrepute. You have mocked the pain every rape victim ever felt. Either you dont get it or you dont care, I dont know which is worse. What I do know is that Bullshido could be reported to the media for endorsing rape because of your comments and the support shown by administrators here.

Violent crime is different to sport, consensual violence. You are advocating rape!!!

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Dude, you can’t condone someone to rape someone, they are either going to do it or they aren’t. This argument reminds me of the whole Jack Thompson video game debacle. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions. Blaming a video game or a comment for making someone rape or kill someone is bullshit.

As Chris Rock said,“Whatever happened to a motherfucka just bein crazy?!”

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Violent crimes committed against someone and contact sports/martial arts are totally different, you know that.

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Please show the admin support or STFU.

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I do like how he tells everyone he would never condone anything that awful while telling people to kill themselves.

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jesus christ man. do you know where you are? we’re in a fucking fighting forum. anything we say can be construed to mean assault (bear in mind that assault can just be the intent to hurt another person). yet nobody is going around saying we’re criminals who advocate assaulting innocent people.

if anyone is offended by the stupid rape post… then fuck 'em. they don’t know satire, that’s their problem.

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When the hell are you going to make your good-bye thread? I’m going to go ahead and keep baiting you and seeing where this goes, because I’m pretty interested in what your stupid mind has to say.

Are you completely devoid of a sense of humor or something? I have friends who have been raped, you think I don’t care or get it? You’re an idiot. Humor is going to be the greatest healer of this world. It’s retards like you who make it worse.

Cut your psuedo-intellectual bullshit. You’re not using words correctly and you’ve missed EVERY single punctuation mark. If you’re going to try to be a DAyoung, at least do it right.