We gonna do this brah. Prizefight at the flagpole after recess! Don’t wuss out or I’ll send my crack team of ninjas after you.
It is clear that the only way to deal with a cretin such as yourself is through the ancient laws of combat…
GONG SAU!
You fight your way- lose-, I fight mine- win!
We are met on this sacred ground- an ice cave near the flagpole on the playground- and by the ancient laws of combat let our issue be settled in blood!
Does Gong Sau have a defence against GETTING YOUR SHIT RUINED BY A BADASS CHINESE NINJA SWORD?!
No.
:: draws rapier ::
You cur, prepare to taste cold steel in the name of our lor- wait… FUCK!
DIE JESUS!
Rapiers are European, so they’re inferior to ninja swords.
Eurpoeans have bigger dicks though, and that’s what’s important.
:: stab ::
It’s not the size that matters, it’s the chi.
:: looks at sword buried in Jesus’s torso ::
Dude, I just stabbed you.
WHERE IS YOUR CHI NOW!?!
You totally didn’t stab me. You rolled a three you dipshit.
Aw, come on man! Shit, look at that you made me spill my mountain dew!
TROGDOR, CAN YOU GET ME A MOUNTAIN DUE OUT OF THE FRIDGE?
:: hurls smoke bomb to the ground and dissappears ::
Trogdor? That’s a chicks name. How did you get a chick?
:: dissembodied voice of one who has recently vanished ::
I rolled a crit 20.
:: pounces out from behind flag pole ::
BRING IT!
I ROLL A 20 AND ATTACK WITH MY ABYSSAL SCIMITAR
:: crushes dice under foot ::
It is time to put away childish things!
:: kicks Jesus in the face ::
You didn’t seem to mind the childish things when we pretended we were Power Rangers yesterday. Why the change of heart?
That was different!
I LOVED YOU THEN!
:: repeats kickery ::
What happened to make you stop loving me, baby?
NOW IS NOT THE TIME!
:: kickery becomes full on, illegal in the UFC, face stompage ::
Then I have no choice but to turn on my former love!
And in full anime fashion, I will now fight you with some sort of toy. Like a yo-yo.
yo-yo to Dai-Tenshi’s cunt
:: defflects yoyo with oversized boomerang ::
No low blows!